Duncan Alexander
@oilysailor
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luxury sports content | editor, writer, talker @TheAthleticFC | previously @OptaAnalyst
August 15 1992, 3pm
Joined December 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Each day on PL there is one main crisis club. The goal is to never be it
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Sadio Mane has now scored as many PL goals as Ryan Giggs, but in 374 fewer games
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your job now is to stand by the new new new new new new manager
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21% of Man Utd's home defeats in PL history have come under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
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Haaland has now scored 1.0% of all Man City goals in PL & CL history
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Spain completed six more passes in that first half than Wycombe have in League One in November
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the last club to start a PL season with 8 wins from their first 9 games & not win the title were...
Arsenal in 2007-08
Before that it was... Arsenal in 2004-05
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sorry but if Burnley signing a 6ft 6in centre forward doesn't get you going then this isn't the sport for you
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so PSG will have Neymar + the man Barcelona bought with the Neymar money and Lionel Messi, the man Barca couldn’t keep because they’d spent wildly trying to replace Neymar
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Kelechi Iheanacho is the first player with all the letters in 'chicken' in his name to score a 94th minute winning goal in an FA Cup 5th round game during a pandemic
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Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player in football history to ever score against Iran, North Korea and Millwall
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Erling Haaland reaching 8 PL goals before he made 100 touches is some sort of robot level efficiency
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The fact a penalty shootout could theoretically continue forever is a massive loophole
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PL goals
2019: Liverpool 88-0 Andy Carroll
2020: Liverpool 75-0 Andy Carroll
2021: Liverpool 0-1 Andy Carroll
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Liverpool have now won more games in the CL this season than Everton have won in the PL
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Luke Shaw provided more assists in 3m 51s vs Ukraine than Zinedine Zidane did in 14 appearances at the Euros
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Jude Bellingham is the first player younger than GTA: Vice City to score a World Cup goal
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Miguel Almiron has scored as many PL goals this month as Jack Grealish has since joining Manchester City
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6% of all red cards in PL history have been shown to Arsenal
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The last three times a PL team has been top on Christmas Day and not won the league:
Liverpool 08-09
Liverpool 13-14
Liverpool 18-19
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Alexis Sanchez's Man Utd career worked out as around £28,800 per touch of the ball.
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Even if the PL lasts another 500 years Ferran Torres might be the only player born on Feb 29 to score a hat-trick in it. What a legacy.
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Congrats to Rafa Benitez for guiding Everton to 49% of their PL points this season
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Liverpool only need two goals at home to Real Madrid to progress
Also: Liverpool have only scored one goal at Anfield in 2021
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Bournemouth have now conceded more goals than Chelsea did in 2004-05
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Thomas Partey back so early Arsenal will have to postpone their next game due to a general sense of surprise
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Sergio Aguero has scored as many PL hat-tricks as Cristiano Ronaldo, Eric Cantona, Dennis Bergkamp, Daniel Sturridge, Jurgen Klinsmann, Gianluca Vialli, Louis Saha, Gareth Bale, Diego Costa, Samuel Eto'o, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang & Olivier Giroud combined
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Cristiano Ronaldo has scored 1.5% of all the goals in CL history
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Salah's hat-trick took 5 seconds less than Tiny Dancer by Elton John
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Phil Foden has now won as many major honours as Leeds United
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It's March 7 and Everton are still only four points ahead of what Liverpool got in their CL group
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"Man Utd have won a penalty" now autocompletes when I type "M"
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Ferran Torres: incredible finish for a man who has celebrated only five birthdays (born Feb 29 2000)
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Did Jesse Lingard score or assist a PL goal?
May 2018: no
Aug 2018: no
Sep 2018: no
Oct 2018: no
Nov 2018: no
Dec 2018: YES (4G 2A)
Jan 2019: no
Feb 2019: no
Mar 2019: no
Apr 2019: no
May 2019: no
Aug 2019: no
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Scott Carson is seven months younger than Cristiano Ronaldo but in the gap between Carson's last two PL apps Ronaldo has scored 325 league goals
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Iheanacho is now one of six PL players to have scored more home goals than Liverpool in 2021
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Spurs have now lost as many PL games as Burnley this season, and let in three more goals
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Liverpool not scoring vs Leicester means Arsenal 2001-02 remain the only team in PL history to score in every single game in an entire season. For me, remains cooler than not losing in 2003-04.
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Klopp's classic XI (total number of games started together: one)
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Sergio Aguero has scored as many PL hat-tricks as Cristiano Ronaldo, Eric Cantona, Dennis Bergkamp, Daniel Sturridge, Jurgen Klinsmann, Gianluca Vialli, Louis Saha, Gareth Bale, Roberto Firmino, Samuel Eto'o, Stan Collymore & Olivier Giroud combined
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CL goals since Alex Ferguson retired:
Man Utd 62-84 Cristiano Ronaldo
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Arsene Wenger got Arsenal into the top four for 20 seasons in a row which is quite good when you think about it
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13 penalties this season for Man Utd - no team has ever had more in a PL season
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Tuchel covered more ground after that goal than Man Utd did at Brentford
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Only 36 players in CL history have scored more goals than Erling Haaland, who is playing his 20th game in the competition
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Solskjaer has now lost more PL games as a manager than Jurgen Klopp, despite taking charge of 104 fewer games.
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7 PL assists for Paul Pogba so far in 2021-22 equals Paul Scholes' highest total in a complete PL season
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Rickie Lambert played in the last World Cup that Italy qualified for
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David Luiz with a red card once every 160 PL games with Chelsea, once every 13 games with Arsenal. Gave a penalty away once every 53 games for Chelsea, once every 6.5 games for Arsenal.
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Diogo Jota has now scored as many PL goals at the Emirates as Gabriel Martinelli
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European Cup/CL final appearances:
10: Liverpool
11: Man Utd + Arsenal + Chelsea + Man City + Tottenham
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, Chelsea letting in 15 goals in 2004-05 is the best PL achievement there's been. Hashtag Mou.
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PL fouls per red since Arteta became Arsenal manager:
Arsenal 72.5
Burnley 973.0
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Guardiola: "he [Arteta] has got to go to Middlesbrough and get something"
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Arsenal have scored half as many PL goals in February as Man Utd have all season
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Did Lewandowski score in his last 15 CL games?
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
No played Liverpool
No played Liverpool
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
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The first seven names on the Brighton team sheet sound like a stag weekend roll call
Brighton XI vs West Ham: Ryan, Bruno, Bong, Dunk, Duffy, Propper, Gross, Stephens, Knockaert, Izquierdo, Murray
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Taiwo Awoniyi is the second player with YNWA in his surname to score a PL goal vs Liverpool after Victor Wanyama
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Kepa has let in 8% of the goals Chelsea have ever conceded in the PL
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Chelsea academy is one of the top five clubs in Europe
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Spurs have now scored more PL goals this season under Antonio Conte (appointed November) than Arsenal have under Arteta
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Manchester United have now lost more CL games than Arsenal
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Philippe Coutinho now has as many PL assists as Jack Grealish this season
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Since David Moyes said "that's what I do, I win" he has a PL win percentage of 17%
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Happy birthday Lionel Messi, you didn't quite manage to score more goals than Sunderland in the 2010s but I still rate you
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Man Utd have conceded two more goals than Burnley, who are bottom of the PL
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Alan Shearer is one Bundesliga goal behind Harry Kane's record
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First time Danny Welbeck and Christian Benteke have scored on the same day in the PL since the PlayStation 4 came out
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so Chelsea’s record of 15 goals conceded in 2004-05 survives for another season (spoiler: it never gets beaten)
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Mason Mount has now scored more European Cup goals than Diego Maradona
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Open play PL home goals this season:
Diogo Jota 4
Man City 2
Man Utd 1
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Alvaro Morata overtakes Scotland for all-time goals at the Euros
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Watford now looking for their 17th permanent manager since July 2012, which is only one fewer than West Ham have had in their entire history
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four times out of 1299 occasions in PL history. Good odds imo
"It’s like being 3-0 up in a game and thinking, ‘We can’t possibly lose this'... how many times have you seen the other team take it 4-3?"
Deputy chief medical officer Jonathan Van-Tam warns the UK “must maintain discipline” with Covid restrictions
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Official 2019-20 Liverpool record squandering diary
Dec 17: Quadruple ❌
Feb 29: PL Invincibles ❌
Mar 3: Treble ❌
Mar 11: League & CL double ❌
Mar 11: Retain European Cup ❌
Jul 11: Perfect home record ❌
Jul 15: 100+ point season ❌
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Conor Bradley now has as many PL assists as Bruno Fernandes this season
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Sadio Mane scored 75% of his PL goals within two miles of the English coast
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Most top six finishes in English top-flight history:
1. Liverpool 63
2. Arsenal 60
3. Man Utd 58
=4. Aston Villa 45
=4. Everton 45
6. Tottenham 36
-----------------
7. Chelsea 35
8. Man City 30
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Mason Greenwood is the first player younger than iTunes to score a PL goal
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Darwin Nuñez scored as many CL quarter-final goals this year as Man Utd have since Alex Ferguson retired
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First Champions League final in the 21st century not to feature a team who have won a league title in the 21st century
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Can't believe Guardiola came over here and carefully nurtured Phil Foden until he blossomed into one of the best midfielders in Europe. Where were the loan deals to Championship clubs???
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16% of Granit Xhaka's PL goals and assists have come in the last 49 days
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Romelu Lukaku is the only player to score a perfect hat-trick vs Man Utd in the PL
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Robert Lewandowski remains one goal behind Nicklas Bendtner in major international tournaments
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From 2007 onwards Cristiano Ronaldo has reached the CL semi-finals in every year except ones in which a Toy Story film has been released
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Edouard Mendy has made 7% of all saves by Chelsea goalkeepers this season
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Jarrod Bowen has more PL goals by himself than Saka/Jesus/Martinelli combined this season
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today marks the exact point that Spurs’ last league title in 1961 is as close to December 31 1899 as it is to now
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Cristiano Ronaldo in World Cup knockout football:
8 games
9 hours 30 mins of play
27 shots
0 goals
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David Moyes remains the only United manager to win a CL knockout game since the 2010-11 season
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Liverpool have now reached as many European Cup finals as Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal combined.
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Andy Carroll has as many assists in his last eight PL appearances as Mesut Ozil has in the last two seasons
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Imagine they put on all four CL quarter-finals in different timeslots so you could watch all of them. Sadly clock technology has not advanced enough to make this possible
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Unai Emery has now won twice as many European trophies as Arsenal
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Harry Kane is the first ever player to score a hat-trick in the World Cup, Euro qualifiers, Premier League, FA Cup, Champions League, Europa League, UEFA Conference League, Europa League qualifying and fail to score on loan to Norwich
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