Tim Allen
@ofctimallen
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Santa? Buzz Lightyear? The Tool Man? Mike Baxter? Hey, I’m still that wisecracking kid from the Midwest, looking for answers to life’s big questions.
City of Angels
Joined April 2009
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It’s not ok to come up on stage and hit a dude cause you don’t like the humor. It’s not ok at a Comedy Club, concert hall or hosting some cheeseball award show. Chris Rock is a stand up comedian and a standup guy who carried on. I think I would have run.
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Biden was on 60 minutes. I heard he asked how long the show was.
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A sweet soul pass on in Kristie Alley. Sad, sad news. Prayers for all her family.
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Woke up this morning and noticed a bit more stubble. This always happens to me as I transition to you no who this Christmas.
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Finished my Buzz for Toy Story 4 today and it got emotional. Wonderful full body story. You are all going to love the work this incredible team at Pixar created. We are all going to love this story....man its got everything.
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Darkness fills my head and heart at the loss of our Marines. All of us adrift in the wake of ignorant leadership and catastrophic lack planning. Deep prayers to all the families that lost so much and to all those struggling to leave.
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See ya soon Woody, you are a sad strange little man and you have my pity. And off we go to a number 5! To infinity and beyond!
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Memory photo reminds me I am blessed to be in this business. Miss the ones who have moved to a higher venue.
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Almost forgot to wish all of you, your families and friends a Merry Merry Christmas!!!
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Went to see my pal Leno in the hospital after his burn accident. Took some treats and car magazines. He has severe burns and acts like he just stubbed his toe. The due is a superhero. Great care will have him better real soon.
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The little twitter bird has a new owner. Wonder how long it will take for the new shadow ban council to prevent me from saying stuff like: Hunter Biden laptop. Or even more provocative: Tesla in-car fart app? (Love it when driving my Mom.)
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One of my buddies kid got the virus. The kid recovered quickly and is ok now. So I asked him how he felt and he says this: "Well Mr Allen it was like a weird cold, kinda lost my sense of taste and smell but considering how Dad cooks and my brother farts it might be a blessing."
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Actually got in trouble in the old twitter with a joke about H Biden laptop. Now it seems like it’s no joke.
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Took some kids to Disneyland and overheard a 13 year old boy wondering if he may be pansexual since he loves skillets.
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At last I have a pronoun that includes and maybe offends everyone equally:
“Hey you.”
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Who is the face of woke. Do wokees have a club house in someone’s backyard or maybe a cute yet safe playpen somewhere?
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I sit with a deep sense of shame for the consequences of this unfocused shameful exit from Afghanistan. So sad at our blood and treasure who lost life and limb. Forgive the rest of us for not demanding more of your leadership.
Bless you all brave warriors.
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Good news. Today Fox announced Last Man Standing is on for season 9!!!!
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Stunned and blindsided by the network I called home for the last six years.
#lastmanstanding
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Gratitude is being thankful for where you are even if it’s not where you want to be.
Why is it so easy to forget to be grateful?
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Leaks, whistleblowers, crybabies. Everything in a gummie. Adults becoming children, children expected to process adults themes. Lost sheep. No coherent sustained moral compass.
And that's just yesterday.
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They heard all your voices people!! LMS just might be a reality. Keep it up. Who wants more
#LastManStanding
?
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What’s the deer looking for in my living room? My niece said, probably a few bucks.
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Socialism
Merriam-Webster
1 : any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.
2 : a system of society or group living in which there is no private property
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Damn I miss everyone on Last Man Standing, that was a great job.
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This quote really had me thinking…”The only speech worth defending is the speech which you despise.”
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Went to visit my dear Mom back near Detroit, and yes that’s 12 deer having a party in the front yard. This is not anywhere near a zoo or the forest so what the hell....
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Hope you all are enjoying the Santa series as much as I did doing it. Merry Christmas everyone.
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Difficult feelings as I sit with my real family ready to say goodnite to the Last Man Standing family we created and lived for all these years. Years that flew by. Heartfelt thanks to all you who watch our work . I will miss being Mike Baxter.
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Forever my heart filled with deep gratitude to all those who fought and still fight for this blessed freedom we call the USA.
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Terribly sad news great friend, great comedian and wonderful man Bob Saget passed. Hit me hard. Prayers and my open heart to his family.
@bobsaget
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A reminder for me from an unknown Greek philosopher: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
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"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”- Mark Twain
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I miss actual journalism. So much opinion mixed with speculation. In a search for accuracy I have leaned in to triangulating sources and asking questions. Gaining real respect for old school reporting. Local news leads the way.
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I had this symbol on everything as a kid and young fan of the military. Yes, I know its Air Force. I was amazed at all the branches. Especially tanks & subs. Today we honor all the brave patriots who sacrifice for this country. I am grateful and salute you all. Go Vets!
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Hmmm…well said quote from the CNN new boss. Maybe a re-focus on accuracy not bs.
CNN’s Chris Licht: “So Much Of What Passes For News Is Name-Calling, Half-Truths And Desperation”
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@tomhanks
Woody,
I should have made you two wear my space suits! You and Rita rest and get well!
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Elon decided one bot could stay at this new opened up Twitter. (Hey Sci-Fi freaks what movie is this bot from and what’s it’s name?)
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We wanted to surprise everyone in the fall. But it seems the press found out. This a release from a few days ago.
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I see preschoolers crying about unfair naps and plant-based snacks, the school is broke and no teacher…wait it’s not preschool it’s the Government. You elected crybabies, grow up and do your jobs. it’s our money so stop spending more than you take from us.
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“Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”-Mark Twain
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Left some classified papers behind a Chevy Corvette that’s sad Mr President. Now had you left classified papers behind a Ford Probe that’s fun.
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Pixar sent me away from my Toy Story 4 session with a cool as hell black and white Buzz picture. He looks like a linebacker.
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My older daughter visited me at the "North Pole" when she was very young...she never really got over this moment.
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Wishing a wonderful, grateful and memorable day to all who have endured this year. We will be stronger because of this, together. Happy Thanksgiving!
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My heart is feeling deep despair, sadness and helplessness at the horror in Texas that took those precious kids.
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Table read tomorrow for our last show of nine grateful seasons. Thanks to all who watch our work.
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To infinity and a Buzz churro here at Disneyland with my family.
#disneyland
@disneyland
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Really hit me today when I read this quote ”Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.” – Coretta Scott King
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Wow still sinking in...we will be back making shows. We are all so geeked.
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The Molinator Art LaFleur passed last Wednesday. This man a kind and gifted actor, husband and father Peace to you our beloved tooth fairy. And prayers to your family.
Santa
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Crowd coming in. We sold out both shows! Thanks for letting me make you all laugh.
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All of the cast is here at Disney World
The others are doing interviews elsewhere. So excited for all you to see this.
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Lot of work to do for next Christmas, very busy here at the pole.
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So much fun, love and material on Last Man Standing. Loved this set so much.
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We are at it again! ABC just ordered a comedy pilot, ’Shifting Gears’. For more info, click here
#homeimprovement
#lastmanstanding
#shiftinggears
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Yelled “To infinity and Beyond’ to a young fan as my team is on the road to next gig. Love the shirt.
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The sky can be a view of beauty even here in the Peoples Republic Of California.
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Challenging, sad time as my family works together to take care of our aging Mom. She was Mom to us nine and now its our turn to be there for her. Moved her, she wanted some things on her wall like her home. Something I made her when I was young made the cut
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My new mask is how I feel:
Angry for those who've died.
Worried for the sick.
Sad for those in fear.
Exhausted by homeschooling.
Hopeful for those not working.
Grateful to those taking care of us.
Missing Thanksgiving with family.
The enemy is not each other.
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Might just be a photo of Santa’s office but don’t tell anyone….
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Sat with five Medal of Honor awardees and two UK Victoria cross holders last night. These are very special humans who never say that. They express patriotism, integrity, sacrifice, courage, commitment and citizenship. They remind: Freedom is not free.
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I sense a willful process to divide us by connecting crises where no connection exist. Cui Bono. Who would benefit by this?
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Halfway thru this emotional last episode waiting for my last scene in the office.
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Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to a beautiful day in Michigan only to find out I'm dead?! How did it happen? Can anyone tell me? I'm DYING to know..
#DeadManWalking
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The September 11 memorial content hits me hard. Memories of that day as we watched in such horror. We were attacked as one country and as one people. Humbled at the men and women who made the ultimate and went to save those in need. Bless them all.
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So so grateful to all those soldiers who fought, jeopardized and for so many sacrificed their lives for this complicated and free country. From deep in my heart I am humbled by your courage. I can trudge this road of happy destiny because of you brave warriors.
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One wonders if these days there is a move not just to tell people what they should say but what they should think.
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Finished shooting at the pole. The magic begins this fall. Don’t tell anyone I shared this photo looking out Santa’s window.
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Working this week on the History Channel show "Assembly Required" with Richard Karn. Lots of laughs
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Doors open for a sold out house here in Charleston. Hope I don’t get arrested.
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Lost my Dad in a terrible accident when I was eleven. The loss of Kobe, the guests and the dear children sunk deep into me. I express my deepest sympathy and feel terrible for the loss to all.
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Been questioning life’s up and down moments since I was a kid. This showed up today. There are no coincidences.
“In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other”
-Ecclesiastes 7:14
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Look who I saw on my way home from work tonite. My old buddy Santa with his family. This new story begins Nov 16. Ho Ho Ho!
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