cinnamon bun
@notsofiacoppola
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:( he seems so happy. Doesn’t know how to read or write . Just eat noodle.
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Now that twitter likes are private, there’s a man who is currently scrolling through my media tab and liking every boob selfie. He just reached 2021. Huge day for him.
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I have a partner who will always do little things to surprise me but today he sent me flowers because it’s the anniversary of George W. Bush getting a shoe thrown at him. I told him months ago that I considered it a holiday. Never had someone pay attention to my nonsense before.
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the american people do not need hope the american people need money this isn’t fucking star wars.
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love scrolling the timeline during a major historical event and seeing the rare off topic tweet. Just saw someone post about a big sandwich they made. Business as usual. Those are the real posters.
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huge news for my buddy steve who always likes her pictures on instagram.
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this app sucks now. Too many posts are just spam or engagement bait. Twitter should have never monetized posting. This was supposed to be an app that you use while on the clock at your real jobs.
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if bernie gets robbed of the nomination again I will spend the rest of my 20s taking revenge on people who voted for warren by stealing their husbands.
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I’ve never seen the full image before. The sleepy bear having an entire family and he’s just sleeping there. Go help your wife!.
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not sure who needs to hear this but TOP YOUR DELIVERY DRIVERS.
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went to a baseball game with my parents and then we went to rainforest cafe and they bought me a froggy cup
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thought another landlord painted over this frog.
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chrissy teigen quit twitter because everyone kept calling her rich lol.
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my two enemies in one photo. I feel sick just looking at this.
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getting on a plane in a few and I saw a lot of scary things about planes last week. If something bad happens, please remember me as someone who liked this tweet a lot.
my uncle has 2 life sized replicas of watto from star wars in his guest room http://t.co/8snx9xtYZW.
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shrek 2 is a labor day movie because there’s a scene where shrek gains the trust of fairy godmother’s worker by saying he’s from a labor union.
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I know this is sweet and innocent but I can’t stop laughing at the idea of a muppet going to war.
Thank you to all the veterans who served our country, just like my papi. Papi you are my hero. I love you. You are the best. #VeteransDay 🇺🇸
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my bf is ignoring me so I created him as a sim and locked him up in the basement on sims 4.
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I sat down and my bra unhooked itself. I stood up and my button up shirt popped open. My life is a joke. I’m like if Mr. Bean had big naturals.
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should I get pregnant here.
Shrek’s swamp will be available to book a stay at on Airbnb starting October 13.
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remember when so many people were dying from COVID that morgues were overwhelmed and places like NYC had to bring in refrigerated trucks to store bodies as a makeshift morgue outside of hospitals.
The pandemic was a weird time looking back at it😅
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Do you think it’s weird for a grown man to go stand in line and get an ice cream cone completely by himself? (No kids, no wife, no girlfriend, no friend group, no purchase for others, just a cone for himself.).
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sometimes I feel like you guys forget that there’s a U.S. senator who has admitted to jacking off at dairy queen on several occasions.
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I’m at a grocery store that is playing thunderstorm sound effects during the vegetable mist shower. This is the most beautiful experience in the world.
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twitter would be a better place if everyone just posted this picture
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my favorite thanksgiving posts are from politicians who post the most fucked up looking food ever.
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not feeding my guests at my star wars themed wedding because I blew the budget on hiring a watto cosplayer.
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Gave proof through the night that our minion was still there 🫡.
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I think I should get a tv show. It’ll be about me working at a pawn shop with my old man and my son, big hoss. Perhaps it could be called pawn stars.
The Hawk Tuah girl is reportedly close to signing a deal for a reality show about her life. Via TMZ
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@elonmusk @SenSanders wow you’re so epic sauce I totally forgot you’re a 50 year old billionaire with 10 kids who chooses to spend every waking hour on this website.
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it’s my favorite time of the year online: henry winkler goes on a week long fishing trip and shows us the fish he catches like a proud animal crossing character.
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baby yoda is very adorable but if I ever saw him in real life I’d probably punt him.
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your honor my client was simply being a dude who rocks.
A New Jersey man is facing a terrorism charge after he intentionally crashed his vehicle into a police station while blasting "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns N' Roses
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sure our president is an elderly man who thinks egypt is mexico but we also have a vice president who is perpetually under the influence of quaaludes. That’s just rock n roll baby. Greatest country on earth.
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thank you for weighing in, president of chile.
@taylorswift13 @Damonalbarn Here in Chile you have a huge group of supporters who knows that you write you own songs from the heart. Dont take seriously guys that need to insult or lie to get attention. Hugs from the south Taylor.
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you guys suck for making bob odenkirk unfollow the foot fetish account. feet guys don’t bother anyone. he was within his rights.
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this is the rare opposite of “he doesn’t have a single song where he needs to be doing this” he has many songs where he needs to be doing this.
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I’m getting this one framed
What is the best shot in all of Star Wars?.
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they sensed it. chris pratt as mario.
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This is how I would kiss my deer wife if I was a deer and married.
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It’s cold today so I’m at the mall trying to buy this exact jacket. I’m too shy to show the sales associates this reference photo.
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securing your desired username on a new app is the closest millennials and zoomers will get to owning land.
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not excited for 2024 when all the mediocre mayors and governors run for president because they did the bare minimum during a pandemic.
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a clearly divorced dad is flirting with me at the water park I’m at and I’m going along with it because he bought his son a funnel cake and I would also like a funnel cake.
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the bitch in question
The bitches set me up.
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if batman doesn’t give head then who the hell ate my pussy at comic con 2018??.
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thinking about the time a guy at a grocery store (5’4) asked me (5’8) to grab something for him on the top shelf and I actually did it.
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This man was just eating a simple MARSHMALLOW and now he’s a sex icon
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The Angels should be classified as a terrorist organization for making Shohei Ohtani sad.
Shohei was fighting back tears after the Angels lost last night 💔
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remember when bernie sent us this email on valentine’s day last year lol
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It’s funny how Ian Miles Cheong will never win an argument online. It’s an endless cycle of him being outraged about a random American thing and people reminding him he lives in Malaysia 😌.
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sexting after spending the day replying to emails is exhausting. I don’t know what to say. I hope this pussy finds you well???.
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If I let my big naturals just hang out in a tight polo shirt, someone would tell me to put a bra on. It’s not fair.
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my dad called me and said to come over bc he’s having a father’s day party and we just got here and he’s just sitting on the couch with some dad neighbor listening to warren zevon werewolves of london.
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you guys suck for bullying samuel l jackson into unliking porn tweets ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
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Man I just wanted to see pictures of muppets. Why does a muppet history account have allegations.
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I made this shirt but I failed to consider my huge dumb breasts
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not the best year but kinda cool I didn’t die in a submarine I guess.
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being an adult is cool because you can get in your car and drive 3 hours to meet a giant bunny and his bunny friends who all wear tiny hats
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just woke up from a dream where a guy kept asking me for a “david lynch themed blowjob” ???.
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sent a guy a picture of my boobs and he replied “aw shucks”.
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I’ve had to close this app like 30 times today.
Let’s talk about sanctions. How about not releasing THE BATMAN in Russia. And all comic book flicks thereafter. It’s a limited thing, sure. Look, we know superheroes aren’t real, but perhaps they can be a small part of the solution. Dish out “consequences they have never seen.”.
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do u guys like my halloween costume ?? the first pic is the inspo
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My husband mentioned he wanted corn bread yesterday and guess what he will have today? Corn bread. Because he gets what he wants period.
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anyway my timeline is filled with pictures of that cry baby italian boxer. Can we go back to posting the italian gymnast cheese girl. She was cool.
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this guy can do absolutely anything with his life and he chooses to rp as a 2016 ifunny poster.
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I’ve had some intense crushes and yet I would never yearn in front of a big beautiful sandwich. Snoopy don’t do this to yourself!.
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will never get over how democrats preferred risking the country slipping into fascism because an old man who wanted to give us healthcare seemed more threatening.
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it’s so dumb to release a batman movie and not sell batman themed glass mugs at mcdonalds.
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I love how this post is responsible for the collapse of NFTs. What a guy.
I’ve thought long and hard about NFT’s and I’ve decided it’s not something I need to do🙏💕
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I’m dating someone who unironically retweeted the lincoln project and I don’t know what to do (hi).
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the pandemic was so weird 😅 I can’t believe people took quirky precautions in attempts to avoid a potentially deadly virus 😅.
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lol @ liberals thinking that voting trump out and replacing him with joe biden will solve any of this.
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There’s something strangely attractive about him. It’s almost like he’s been asleep since the Bush administration and the last thing he did was go to a GameStop midnight release in 2008.
Gotta find this dude and give him his crown. Just redeemed an entire type of guy
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every day I live in fear of a stomp clap indie folk revival.
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why is bernie sanders still texting me for $27 it’s over dude I’ve moved on.
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if trump wins again I will be moving to a farm in sweden to become a milkmaid who wears a pink gingham dress everyday and also does porn.
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Could you imagine having a Jar Jar Binks watch and a Darth Maul watch and a huge rack etc
Could you imagine having a 'Jar Jar Binks watch' today? It would be worth a fortune no matter the quality.
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Went to a Cincinnati Reds spring training game last night and sat next to a dude in a Trump shirt. I have to say it’s quite easy to be a republican grifter. He asked me where I was from and I was like “um COMMIEfornia” Had this dude buying me and my woke bf drinks all game.
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pain and agony.
democrats in 2024 will be like “nope we don’t need to embrace progressive policies we won in 2020 by remaining moderate and sucking never trump republicans off”.
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