Nick Simmons
@notnicksimmons
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Standup comedian. Not Gene Simmons son
New York, USA
Joined January 2012
Spoiler alert for 28 years later** 🚨 .There’s a baby that’s born of two infected that’s not infected and for some reason they hand it over to someone to raise it and it turns out to be Ellie from the last of us and she says “I’m going to be a dad now?” And it fades to black.
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What are the odds I’m getting picked up by Jesus on Easter?
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Did draft kings leak upcoming UFC fights with Connor Mcgregor comeback and Jones vs Aspinall??
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this was so much fun esp since I haven’t had an outlet to tell all my ghost hunting stories all these years.
Today at 4pm EST on @TheThingIsShow! . Join to watch live and use code TTI at signup to unlock BIG SAVINGS on your membership! . @ImShannonLee @ComicMikeFigs @notnicksimmons @HimbosPodcast
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Imagine the drone sightings just get pushed under the rug like they did with Clowns randomly appearing in 2016 (we never figured out what that was about)? First Pennywise? Now the Deadlights??.
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I’ve never even had a landlord that remembered my first name wtf?.
Luigi Mangione’s back pain was so intense that he couldn’t be ‘physically intimate’ with anyone, former landlord says
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Natty or Not: Luigi Mangione aka the alleged United Healthcare shooter
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Can’t wait to see Jake Paul take on Rocky Marciano next!.
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As unlikeable as he is I think we gotta give Jake Paul his props for this. He’s literally fighting an Iron Mike Tyson none of us would
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Election 2024: If you live in a bubble you prob didn’t see the signs.
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Kind of rude they keep trying to get my dead mom to vote but have yet to ask me to vote once.
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All this talk of “We wont find out this states voting results final count for a couple days” feels like when Netflix shows started only putting out the first half of the season and making you wait to watch the second half. Just let us binge it all at once!.
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RT @somaddysmith: Check out a new mad house today with legendary @notnicksimmons !!!! @gasdigital @biteityouscum_ listen now! https://t.co/….
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IN NYC asking the hardest (almost impossible) Questions to answer. What’s your worst would you rather?
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Floridians in their golf carts after making it through the last hurricane :
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The other 49 states when a Cat 5 hurricane is coming to Florida: “Praying they stay safe”. Floridians in the middle of a hurricane:
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Is there anyone that’s as annoying as a broker that you have to pay a fee to for an apartment when you found the place yourself from the former tenant and they did nothing at all?.
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Less than an hour till kickoff for the Presidential Playoffs. -How everyone into sports looks at this.
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