Good morning @Aptos @based_d0m @aptosgooner @BuzzlamicJihad @jewcrypto9 @kanyewest @FTX_Official @inversebrah

Everyone has given up on bringing retail to crypto. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. Here is my strategy: >Every day I go to the gym. >I offer to spot people and introduce myself as "Aptose Blackbutt" >During their final rep when they're most vulnerable, I

Tom Lee has finally revealed the top-tier secret behind his iconic hairstyle: he uses a 67-in-1 shampoo called "Aptos."

Uncovered lore shows that ZachXBT's recently exposed "Broox" was actively e-dating in Roblox role-playing game "Brookhaven."

Orangie launches "MyEatingStrategy," a high-conviction allocation targeting DoorDash, McDonald's, and PepsiCo.

Max Burwick discloses that he has been sponsored by Rainbet.

Franklinisbored has presented himself as a potential candidate to become the next leader of Mexico.

Gen Z Quant reveals DNA results showing a 2% probability that he is Threadguy's biological father.

Not many people know this but Evgeny Gaevoy from Wintermute and Jeffrey Dahmer are cousins.

John Cena mentioned Zora in a now deleted post: "The Champ sends a big congratulations to crypto app 'Zora' on reaching 5 users. #ad"

The return of the UpOnly podcast. DATE REVEAL SOON TO BE HELD LIVE FROM ROBLOX

Crypto shit poster "SilvXBT" is gone. Rest in Peace. 🕊️ ? - 2026

Varis Gilaj, a recently prominent Arizona State University frat leader, has joined crypto attention-markets platform Noise as an advisor.

Samuel Bankman-Fried has escaped from low-security prison.

Jesse Pollak just got laid off from Base. DEPARTURE MESSAGE: "I couldn't take it anymore. I suffered a massive cortisol spike and crashed out after Brian sold $550M in Coinbase shares. I'm no longer fit for my role."

GCR posts via Farcaster today: "Time for a new twitter post. Tommorow."

Kalshi signs a two-figure deal with Bad Bunny to sponsor his future album, including added markets tied to song streams.

Max Burwick appears to have gained over 10 kg in the past month.

Rasmr will be live on Twitch later today. STREAM TOPIC: His take on Clavicular being mid jestergooning when a group of foids came and spiked his cortisol levels.

Blast plans to shut down its chain and relaunch via Pumpfun following Vitalik’s comments that “L2s on Ethereum no longer make sense.”