SanofaTailor
@mistatash
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Chief Design Priest | YALI Fellow | Dusty Foot Philosopher | Us/Those | Views Personal
Kenya
Joined May 2009
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I once hired Ken Wamaria to perform at a remote club in Kitui after a Nation Media Road Show and we had to drag the guy from stage at 5:00am so that we can go to sleep and manage crowds for safety purposes.
He was on stage from around 11pm.
Then there is our boy band. 😂
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My son has been washing dishes for the PS5 at 100 bob per wash
So far he has raised 4,300. Told him he has to get to 10k and I will top the rest.
I never thought he was going to do it so the problem is I have to come up with the rest of the money!
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Let me make you laugh!
These are two different gentlemen. The one on the left is Kwame Owino and the one on the left is Sekou Owino.
They are identical twins.
Kwame is an Economist and is the one lending his expertise on
@citizentvkenya
on matters
#FinanceBill2023
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But sir, weren’t you earning over a mita with a death certificate? 😂😂
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You guys remember Stella?
The one who was facilitated by the boyfriend to go study in Japan then after 3 years jetted back with a Japanese boyfriend and baby?
Just wanted to let you know, she jetted back on a day like today.
Ilikuwa tarehe kumi na saba, mwezi wa tano.
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We have a mutual agreement, the President runs the country and Kenyans run the internet.
This is shocking. Kenyans have internet on the eve of elections.
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In 2013 chaps who owned shops at Kamukunji and Nyamakima each contributed 3K to buy goats to celebrate Uhuru's win.
Today if you mention Uhuru's name anywhere around those areas unaweza pigwa kama mwizi wa Nduthi.
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Just wanted to remind you there is a guy who was paid 500 million four years ago to paint Redline on Thika road in anticipation for BRT.
As you were.
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Dereva ni Mlevi,
Makanga ni Mwizi,
Kamagera ni Pickpocket.
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That can be forgiven. Ukikosa ya Ludacris waitie Kebs.
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From the school of Obado, babu and co. When you make justice selective you have to deal with new monsters.
POLICE PURSUING Lamu Senator Anwar Loitiptip for allegedly shooting a woman in Nanyuki town, Laikipia DCI boss Onesmus Towett confirms.
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Lost my son in town yesterday. Ninja flagged a stranger and asked to call his father. Found the the dude chilled at a shell petrol station eating muffins.
You can't lose a child anymore. Jubilee is trash.
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Malema takes no prisoners. Somewhere in Uganda there is a Tailor who needs assylum 🤣🤣
#UgandaDecides
#BobiWine
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Heri niyonye maziwa straight from the cow's udder halafu nimeze teabag kama capsules.
Wanaume mnaweza kunywa chai iko kwa pink flask ama afadhali baridi iwamalize?
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The section that was razed down by fire in Gikomba has been fenced off for road expansion. In other words, the government of Kenya intentionally torched traders businesses.
This should be a class-action lawsuit.
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With your help I would like to rename the following public spaces;
JKIA Airport
Uhuru Highway
JKUAT University
Mama Ngina Drive
Kenyatta University
Uhuru Park
Uhuru Gardens
Kenyatta Market
Mama Ngina Street
Kenyatta Hospital
Kenyatta Uni Refferal Hospital
Share deserving names.
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Moral of the story. If you hire 3 Kamba artists you can have a seven day festival. 😂😂
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DCI success rate on regular folk cash related cases is quite suspect.
They hardly breakthrough cases involving politicians siphoning public coffers where you can easily follow the money trail.
Their motivation and zeal to go after common thieves is not for justice.
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Some dudes from Ndenderu won a green card and went to the states (Colorado). After the first week they decided to celebrate the Kyuk way, so they went out of town, bought 2 goats from a local farmer and drove back to Denver. The bleeting from the goats as they tried to secure ...
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Inakubalika kuzaliwa na akili pungufu, lakini jitahidi usije ukazeeka kwa hali hio, kwani hakuna kitu cha kusikitisha kama mchanganyiko wa uzee na upumbafu
Okoa ukoo wako!
One way of reducing femicide is by advising our women to get married by the age of 23yrs. Married women rarely go to Airbnb n clubs. This is not rocket science come on.
#RongRende
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1/23 I'm driving up Limuru road towards Redhill. It’s raining heavily, there's a bit of traffic at the Ruaka market section due to flash floods & low visibility. Suddenlly, I notice a massive obstacle headed towards me
#Impunity
#KaruriPolice
@NPSOfficial_KE
@IPOA_KE
@IAU_Kenya
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Been in the art industry long enough to know indi creators hardly get anywhere.
Just like
@kilundeezy
, can we light a candle for the creators of the trailer below? Can we use the same
#KOTpower
to support
@kennedy_artist
get a sponsorship from
@TuskerLager
to get this series out?
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This guy is con. Don't let these posts fool you.
He is not a mechanic, doesn't own a garage and he is on the run having conned my a friend over 250,000 Ksh after I shared a few posts with him.
If you are keen, all his posts never have a contact or a garage address.
Above and beyond
Respect the brand
Back to life with a new 300tdi engine.
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Dude single handedly created the Luo bourgeois culture. His name is Hirum Mungai 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Last week I lost a distant aunt to Covid at Kenyatta Hospital. The bill came to 1.2 million. After further scrutiny, we were told patients have to cater for the doctors PPE's and any other related costs like accomodation.
The family has resolved to let them keep the body.
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Told a client I have sent files via WeTransfer and she called after two hours to complain.
Her: Why is it taking so long? Where is the rider?
🤣🤣🤣
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Imagine insulting someone who made hits pre midi interface and computers. Created a sub genre and made it national attracting brands with endorsements. His quality can be excused, your ignorance on the other hand should be a case study.
Hip hop is wise. Hii reply ni gengetone.
Ata Kenyans wasupport Kenyan music, ngeli ya genge haingetupeleka Grammy's... The sound was trash, ati tulululululu tululululu 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...
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Exactly how I will raise my sons. The world won't like them anyway.
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Let me give you a backstory between Elodie and Nviiri.
Before the fame, the 'Niko sawa guy' used to be her videographer when she was a hotshot vlogger.
She never used to breathe his way.
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Mwenye ako na shida zikiwa kitandani 😂😂
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Been staring at this for a minute because I'm numb. Forget the sacrifice required to become a medic, Dr. Stephen Mogusu was in the frontline without pay for 5 months!
All the Covid Millionaires were PAID IN FULL.
Nothing can explain the betrayal.
Devastating to announce the demise of 28 yr old Dr. Stephen Mogusu who has succumbed to COVID-19 complications At the time of his death he had not received his salary for 5 months,had no insurance & his young family left with no compensation.Too steep a price for Patriotism.
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Found this abandoned old house seated on a 5 acre plot in Tigoni.
The main house (Colonial Design) is 3000 SQ with 8 bedrooms.
It has two three bedroom guest houses as well. Hasn’t been occupied in years. Needs lots of work. Ideal for a getaway.
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In 1997 a woman was retrenched from the Ministry of Agriculture. Uncertain about the future, she went home, moved to a cheaper house in the slums of Gitari Marigu and started running small businesses to educate the first born son and 3 daughters.
Short Thread.
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Told my son 12 year old son that I met the president at the Kakamega Investment Conference and this is what he’s had to say.
I hope H.E
@WilliamsRuto
heeds to this request.
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1. Eliud Kipchoge. First man to run a marathon in under 2 hours.
2. Brigid Kosgei.
Wins and breaks the 2019 Chicago Marathon Record. ( Female Category)
3. Lawrence Cherono wins the 2019 Chicago Marathon ( Male Category)
This is Kenya!
We are not your age mates!
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I you try this with a BMW you might have to settle down in Zimbabwe so that you can use it as a chicken hatchery. 😂😂
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Sekou shows up after a few minutes panting and once again the room burst into laughter as the CEO reprimands him for not hinting about it.
I must say I’m privileged to have met these two fellows because yoh!
There are smart people then there is Kwame and Sekou Owino!
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There was a woman who drowned in Nairobi river running away from the cops after the 7pm curfew. Someone needs to confirm her name.
Killed by Kenya police
1. Yassin Moyo
2. Khamis Juma
3. Calvince Omondi
4. David Kiiru
5. Peter Gacheru
6. Eric Ngethe
7. Idris Mukolwe
8. Ramadhan Juma
9. John Muli
10. Ibrahim Onyango
11. Vaite
And over 31 hospitalized!
#EndPoliceBrutalityKE
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This was inappropriate as hell. Only reason he got away with it is because of his billions. Ingekuwa some garagaria kungekuwa na #
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One of my partners has set up a private theatre at Roselyn Mall.
15 seats
Theatre size screen.
Creative lighting
Open for parties and personal screening. You can invite your pals to Netflix and chill.
2,500 per hour.
Photo and booking links coming right up.
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This chick used to be Deejay Josh's squeeze. Tumebeba nayeye speaker za gigs mbaya but sisemi kitu.
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FYI he wanted to start at 8:00pm but we refused because the team was yet to leave the hotel 🤣🤣
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While on a mission to test a revision platform, my client was so disturbed to witness kids traverse an average of 15 Kms daily for water in Emali, Makueni, Konza and Sultan Hamud. He lobbied and donated 200 Million to Athi Water to supply/fix tanks and gutters in 200 schools.
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Kaende sana. Create employment for yourself.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference!
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them for slaughtering attracted some white people who reported they were sacrificing pets. They were arrested and deported two days later.
They are drowning in alcohol at Ndenderu shopping centre.
I feel sorry for them but...
🤣🤣🤣
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Do not underestimate city goats Their intelligence is unmatched. It’s common to see cats and dogs knocked down on the road. Have you ever seen any Nairobi goat taken out by a motorist? 😂😂
No way GOATS in Nairobi stood and witnessed an accident😂.Watch
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I know cops when I see them.
@DCI_Kenya
Hawa ni watu yenyu.
Nobody goes to steal a TV with an AK 47.
🙆♂️🙆♂️🙆♂️Robbery in Gataka Rongai
Ambushed in their own compound..1/2
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This man
@KaleNeyole
runs the biggest car garage con business in Nairobi. Shuffles between Uganda and Kenya, he has a wife in each country na proceeds wizi!
As usual he has done the thing, blocked me and anyone who calls him out then create a new circle and continue. Stay Guided
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The amount of money AAR have spent on influencers is definitely more than what
@bonifacemwangi
( 8 year client) was claiming. Y'all cant be helped.
#AARInsuranceFacts
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Her after giving you 40 shillings to top up your 8,040 club bill.
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Big SO to
@NjeriWaMigwi
and her team for organization today’s
#TotalShutdownKe
protest. The first step is awareness. Now let’s elevate the conversation and involve both genders for behavioral change.
Keep it up!
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@mungereti
@NPSOfficial_KE
@IPOA_KE
@IAU_Kenya
You need to see beyond selfish deeds. I can afford to repair my car. However I'm not sure the next motorist will make it out alive if such behaviour is encouraged.
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Brace yourselves.
"OCS alifungia Keyboard."
"System haina mafuta."
"Rono alitumia UPS kwa radio."
"Tunangojea mouse kutoka treasury."
This morning, at 0000hrs,
@IG_NPS
opened a new chapter in the history of Policing in the country by inaugurating a Digital Occurrence Book (OB), at Kasarani Police Station.
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At the begining of this pandemic someone shared this. They were shopping for the apocalypse.
Can someone check on them.
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Pale Chancery a renowned copywriter asha wahi drop kick mdonyo through his office glass doors heshima ikaingia factory settings.
Unfortunately alimwaga unga tukaingia next agency pamoja.
🤣🤣
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Someone said we boycott Huddah's products and here wondering which ones. I only know of services.
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We would like to thank South African miners for all the gold they prepare for marathons
#KenyaVsSouthAfrica
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From brief to execution in four days. Proud of my squad
@CarrefourKe
and the team at TDM.
We knocked this one out of the park!
This also happens to be my last project at
@CarrefourKe
🙏🙏🙏
Na tulenge juu!
#AdsForHumans
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I had Yana tyres that served me from 2013. They were made by a Kenyan company that folded production due to high operation costs.
I just spent a hefty amount on five foreign tyres, that's money that will never service our economy.
That's how we are killing this nation.
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Kenya Police: it was a mistaken identity.
Pakistani Police: How?
Kenya Police: We thought it was a kidnapping…
Pakistani Police: So in such instances you rescue by shooting the passenger’s side?
Kenya Police: Hata hatukuwa na ubaya…makosa imefanyika.
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Dumb content has a shelf life because audiences are getting smarter. Even teacher Wanjiku thought she could shrub her way into a sustainable career but the market spoke.
Desagu went from hitting 500k views to barely managing 1k views in no time. This content creation job ain't no forgiving.
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@Carolspens3
@_GenghisK
Hey, if putting those thoughts on some songs will help you then my studio doors are open fkr you. Thank you for sharing and I wish all the best.
Take care.
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1 year ago I hired a plumber, paid him a deposit of 2,090 to buy materials jamaa akaingia mitini. Today I went to get a tap at the hardware and bumped into him buying materials. Guess nani amekwama na sink za client mpaka hela ikatoka? The client later fired him on the spot.
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LG asks… “Who is your brother?” He answers “ Sekou” you should have seen his face!
After some laughter and silence he then says “ There will be no meeting until Sekou comes here.” One of the brand managers was sent downstairs to fetch Sekou. Mimi I was on the floor!
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to him all the time on a light note because he is a proper book worm. When I say proper I mean he used to buy at least two books per week. When I left NMG he had a library worth 4 million bob!
Back to the story… so as I’m busy settling in on my workstation Sekou comes back…
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MCA's just returned from Rwanda on dairy benchmarking! Findings:....they found the Rwandese had bench marked in Githunguri from where they were still importing heifers.
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How do you conduct a logo competition and end up with this? Ama real graphic guns stayed away?
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Having a terrible week. My sister was kidnapped on Monday inside a cab, she was headed home at around 3pm. Later made it home around 7:30pm minus her her handbag and phone. During that period my folks and some relatives received extortion calls, some sent $ while some ignored...
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For my actual 40th birthday treat, I have decided to embark on a year-long break from the corporate grind. I've been on the work train since my 2nd year at UoN & it's been quite the journey. I'd like to gift myself a break from the advertising mayhem that is the creative industry
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There is this Indian mama who has an office at our building but works from home, hasn't been in office since Covid struck for the fear of contracting but every week she shows up to monitor her parking occupancy and reprimand the management by having vehicles clamped.
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(c) The only cost incurred will be 14% VAT ( On interest)
(d) My principal (45 M ) will still be intact.
(e) I can withdraw my principal in 48 hours
(f) Never have to worry about tenants, agents and utility bills.
I would easily recommend
@BritamEA
@OldMutualLtd
DM for more.
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take a guess who walks in? You guessed right! Kwame walks in with a
@DTBKenya
branded tee. My CEO
@LinusGitahi
stares across the room, rises from his seat and asks “Sekou, when did you leave Nation?” Kwame stands and with a smile he replies “ You are mistaking me for my brother…
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… and Sekou is the Head of Legal
@NationMediaGrp
INCIDENT 1
Sekou was my colleague at NMG, we sat side by side on the 4th floor. One day, the brother who used to work for DTB downstairs visited his workstation when Sekou and I had stepped out.
I was the first get back and…
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In Kenya these two items cost averagely the same price and we go about our business like everything is okay.
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You should have seen my face!
I was in disbelief! So I first disappeared deep into spaces to understand what was going on. Yani I had just mocked the brother and he gracefully smiled and continued sitting like a gentleman.
I went back to my workstation and they were all …
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Found Kwame seated on the visitor side of Sekou’s workstation reading a newspaper. Assuming it was Sekou, I went ahead to make fun of him.
“ Chief ukiendelea kusoma zaidi ya hapo sasa utachizi” I said as squeezed through our workstations. This is something we used to say …
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Dangote couldn't set up here because someone wanted a kickback.
Samsung couldnt set up because someone wanted a kick back of 2 billion .
Now this.
PS: GoK won't investigate.
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Very passionate about product design. So I decided to start this journey with some Sandals. Prototype delivered last night. The stitching is terrible but we shall perfect it as we try out different materials.
Designed for campers, picnic enthusiasts and beach goers.
Meet Barizi
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