Lisa Mila
@milamiarose
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Former Grade 7 100m Sprint Gold Medalist. 🇦🇺🇮🇹 News, entertainment and life advice delivered through satire & sarcasm. Common sense leaning.
Adelaide, South Australia
Joined September 2019
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Pinned Tweet
If you are angry at a tennis player instead of being angry at your tyrannical government, you are a clown.
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BREAKING: An unusual link has been discovered between the government firing a bunch of nurses and there now being a lack of nurses.
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I have never, in all my life, known so many people, to get the very virus, in which they had 3 vaccines for.
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“My husband only cheated 3 times, that means my marriage is working!”
- Covidians, basically
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BREAKING: an unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, risk to all of society, person wins Wimbledon!
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The world is currently divided into 2 types of people... those who believe the government cares deeply about their health & wellbeing and those who have a functioning brain.
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Breaking: Australian government confirms “unvaccinated people who are healthy, well and alive are a threat to our agenda”
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Here’s a thought... if you don’t like Joe Rogan so much, don’t listen to him.
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BREAKING: Lady who caught the covid after 4 jabs just can’t imagine how bad it would have been had she only had 3 jabs.
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I was 43 years old when I found out I was a right-wing extremist! 😂😂😂
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BREAKING: Experts say that SADS, Sudden Adult Death Syndrome, is most definitely not linked to vaccines and it’s more likely that sleep is the main cause.
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1992: “in 30 years we’ll have flying cars!”
2022: *nobody knows what tf a woman is*
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Me: “I haven’t had the vaccines and I’m still alive.”
Someone: “stop spreading misinformation!”
Me: “but I’m literally alive!”
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The real pandemic is the rise in “sudden” and “rare” heart attacks & strokes in athletes.
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BREAKING: Unvaccinated teachers in Queensland are welcomed back from the dead, but will be fined half their weekly pay for still being selfishly alive.
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BREAKING: If you haven’t had your stroke yet, you are now due for your 5th shot.
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According to the media, having an immune system is unusual and professional athletes having heart attacks mid game is normal.
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Experts say the best way to catch the common covid is to stand in line for 5hrs waiting to be tested for the common covid.
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I just want one person to explain to me the purpose of Vaccine Passports.
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It’s crazy how plastic bags don’t ruin the planet if you pay 20 cents for them.
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Accidentally flirted with some bloke pushing 70 because he was the only other person not wearing a mask! 😂🤷🏻♀️
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Pfizer recommends that a jab every 3-4 months is best for their business.
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Never in a million years would I have thought my prototype for the perfect man would be one with a mindset of a Canadian trucker with a dash of Djokovic, but here we are! 🙌🏽😂💯
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Surely we can all agree that boobs are a delightful gift from God.
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Experts say the billions of unvaccinated people who are alive & well is just a fluke.
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Side effects of not having the vaccine include, full brain function and perky boobs. 😆
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Unmasked men smiling at you at the shops feels like fkn foreplay these days!!!
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Fellas, the government loves you as much as that stripper in the club does.
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BREAKING: Mask nazis upset that they now have to wear masks without being forced to.
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Breaking: Melbournian’s blame Novak Djokovic for their tyrant government.
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Some of you need a jab of ‘common sense’, a second jab of ‘logic’ and a booster of ‘open your fkn eyes!’
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I got the common covid and I’m so grateful to be unvaxxed... I couldn’t imagine how exactly the same it would have been.
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The only jab I’m going to be getting this year will be coming from a fully grown man! 😂🤷🏻♀️
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Can somebody please explain how the people who voted no to racial division, are the racists? Explain it to me like I’m 5 times vaxxed, driving around in a surgical mask.
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Stop telling us “died WITH covid.” If I died right now, you could say “died with D-cups” but what tf did I actually die FROM??!! 🧐🥴😂🤷🏻♀️
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If saying, “you stupid white bastard!” is not offensive or racist, then neither is saying, “you dumb black bitch!”
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Just in: The CDC repeats everything conspiracy theorists said 2 years ago.
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Just leaving this here as a lot don’t understand sarcasm...; men don’t have vaginas!
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BREAKING: Australian PM who can’t stand up against his own tyrant state leaders says he’ll definitely stand up against Russia.
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I’m looking for a man with the mindset of a Canadian trucker! 🙌🏽
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Just in: To enter Australia, you now need to show proof of vax plus at least one Ukrainian flag emoji on at least one of your social media pages.
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BREAKING: Spike in heart attacks said to be linked to climate change.
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Some guy: “so tell me about yourself?”
Me: “I hold my boobs when I run... plus also, you realise all these historical events that keep happening are planned, programmed and scheduled right?”
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I talk about my boobs a lot because I want people to like me for more than just my correct political opinions! 😂😅
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No, I don’t think sport stars should get special treatment. I’m against coercion and tyranny for all people. But it seems some of you love it! 😭😭😭😭🥴🥴🥴🤦🏻♀️
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I instantly like a man not wearing a mask... idgaf. dad bod, 5’5??? I don’t care, come here lil bear! 😂😂🤷🏻♀️
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“R U OK?”
“No, I lost my job and couldn’t get another one and had no income for 6 months because I wouldn’t take an experimental drug and the majority of people I know supported this system.”
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Thailand is literally the only country that’s got it right; dudes dressed as chicks are called “lady boys” not “women”
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Not wearing a mask is the best way to ensure idiots stay tf away from you! 🙌🏽
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If you have a penis, you can’t be a lesbian! Lesbian is 2 vaginas. Arrest me!
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Some guy: “so tell me about yourself”
Me: “I hold my boobs when I run... plus also, the government’s trying to kill us!”
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Experts say, being alive raises the risk of having a heart attack.
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So, breast implants on a female are fake boobs but a vagina on a male is a real vagina…? Ok.
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If you are complaining about this shit but still QR coding your every move and lining up for hours to have swabs stuck up your nose and in your throat, you are a first class dickhead!
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Some idiot: “where’s your mask?”
Me: “oh you mean the one that doesn’t protect you from airborne viruses but people wear them anyway as a sign of virtue signalling..? Yeah nah I don’t play that game!”
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Breaking: Pfizer reports a 92% increase in revenue; proof that the vaccine is working.
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Just in case anyone’s wondering about my medical status, I took my Vitamin D today! A double dose! 😂🤷🏻♀️🙌🏽💯
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If genitalia doesn’t determine sex, then what is a “same sex” couple? 🥴🤯😅
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It doesn’t bother me if “fully vaccinated” means 2, 3, 4 or 10 vaccines... I’m having zero! Lmaoooo
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BREAKING: Eggs said to be the main cause of blood clots, but only if you had 4 vaccines for the same thing in one year.
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Before I date again, I’m gonna need to see his last 2.5 years worth of social media posts to see if he’s stupid or not! 😂🥴
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@Dulcitonia
Nobody I know got 3 flu vaccines in a year 🥴 and then still got the flu and then blamed other people... no.
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BREAKING: Justin Trudeau splits from wife, after it was revealed that she’s attracted to men.
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I’m a straight, white person so everything that happened in history is my fault.
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The average Australian can barely afford groceries, petrol, rent, mortgage etc, but our government’s main priority is making sure only indigenous Australians have a voice. Like we all aren’t fucking drowning regardless of race. Disgusting.
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Does anyone know when, “Caucasians who enjoy heterosexual sex,” month is?
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I’m not a biologist but I know my vagina can’t impregnate a man or a woman.
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Experts say, if you do die from coronavirus, it won’t be as bad if you are triple vaxxed.
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BREAKING: Australia braces for cold weather during the winter months.
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Thinking you need a vaccine every 3 months in order to stay alive is mental affff! 🥴
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Breaking: Woolworths rename their “Chicken Kiev” to “Chicken Kyiv” to keep morons happy.
(no, this is not satire) 🥴😂
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Our politicians be like, today we honour our brave Anzacs who fought for our freedoms so that we could make you show medical papers to buy a burger!
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Apparently I’m only alive because everyone around me is vaccinated..; mf’er everyone around me is sick! 🥴
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Me: I’ve managed to dodge covid for 2 years
Them: cases are about to go up when they lift mask mandates
Me: I haven’t worn a mask this whole time and I never got it
Them: that’s cos we’ve all been wearing masks
Me: but you’ve all had covid!
Them:
Me: 🥴🤯🧐
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Just a reminder… if you have a penis, today is not your day!
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Shocking discovery - QR coding your every move does not prevent illnesses.
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BREAKING: Unvaccinated airline crew make a miraculous return to work as they come back from the dead.
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BREAKING: any man offended by boobs is definitely a “they/them”, study finds.
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