mr. 5000 🇵🇸
@mikeyfairlight
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#Eurovision2024
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ヴィクトリアマイル
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Pachuca
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me: paducah is a quaint and culturally rich city i am proud to come from
paducah:
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it’s heartbreaking that the berlin staff’s courageous and admirable fight was met with so much malice from the owners that they’d rather close than show the basic respect of trying to negotiate a fair contract.
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@rishipuff
hey rish. pretty good work here. but maybe try talking literally twice as quickly next time so that your impression accurately portrays the fact he is literally a robot
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why do babies think the burden of discovering what is edible in this world rests solely on their shoulders. we already figured all that out just ask you tiny idiot
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I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TOO SOON BUT I THINK THEY HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO CAST LIVE TV MUSICALS
#JesusChristSuperstarLive
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this is what happens to my vision when my bf walks in the room…the top eye doctors in the world are studying me cus they don’t understand it’s just the power of true love
Heart diffraction glasses, making lights appear as hearts
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THE GOAL: for NU co2021 to the LOWEST class donation total EVER! spread the word!
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today’s popular country artists need to get back in touch w the genre’s original purpose—to tell the saddest little story you’ve ever heard
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worried thinking about all the first/second years who are going to have to live on campus in a single while events and classes are still remote with no support. that isolation could be so harmful.
@NorthwesternU
what provisions are being made for these students?
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what does being nonbinary mean to me? it means today i am allowed to post two (2) pictures of me sweaty in my overalls. it means i am handsome to everyone and pretty to a select few (my girlfriend and transfem people). it means i like cryptids and soft cheeses.
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beautiful sea of palestinian flags and kuffiyehs down michigan ave today. chicago stands with palestine 🇵🇸
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there are so...SO many things to criticize about these fascists and yet y’all choose time and time again to criticize their appearances or perceived “health”??????? i’m tired!!! it’s not funny and it is, in fact, counterproductive!!!
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@imirregulargirl
[as they try to drag me away and tape my mouth] noo don’t engage with the 16y/o she/her lesbian jackieshauna stan acc it’s a trappppp
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ordering at a new coffeeshop: ʸᵉᵃʰ ᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵘʰʰʰ ᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵘᵘᵘᵘuu ᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘ ᵘ ᵘ ᵘᵘᵘᵘu ᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘ ᵘ ᵘ ᵘᵘᵘᵘu ᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘ ᵘ ᵘ ᵘᵘᵘuᵘuu ᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘ ᵘ ᵘ ᵘᵘᵘ ᵘᵘᵘᵘ ᵘ ᵘ ᵘᵘᵘᵘuu ᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘ ᵘ ᵘ ᵘᵘᵘᵘ boneless latte
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miss going to theatre parties to experience this with distant acquaintances on a back porch that feels like it might collapse....
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the number of my people in my dept who have gone viral on tiktok is proof that the platform has given theatre kids way too much power and influence
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it’s actually so funny that i introduced myself to this pre k class as mr. mikey and within like two days they were all calling me teacher mikey. they said we’re not buying it…your gender seems weirder than that
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tried to use a microwave the other day in the art theory and practice building then realized it was an installation, removed my food from the microwave, and left in shame. walked past today and realized it works and just wasn’t plugged in. i hate art students
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all these babies at the daycare getting their heads scratched by pretty gay girls with acrylics as they fall asleep for nap time…you have no idea how good you have it
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the two types of small towns are “how does this population support so many flea markets“and “how does this population support so many vape shops“
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TAs Hate Them! Student Learns TEN BEST Buzzwords With No Real Definition to Drop in Theory Classes
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hey so super sapphic was just the first of many, right? like obviously the dykes will turn out so when do we get more lesbian circuit party vibes
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btw if you haven’t eaten dinner yet i still have some of my big beautiful salad left. just head over to mine and lmk you’re on your way
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there are now at least TWO who have experienced the playing mitchie in camp rock to coming out as nonbinary pipeline. good for us
Demi Lovato announced they are nonbinary and is changing their pronouns to they/them.
Over 9% of U.S. youth identify as gender-diverse, says a new study. Lovato said: "I'm doing this for those out there that haven't been able to share who they truly are."
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drafting a invite list for the party i'm planning to host post-vax, theme will be "i want to kiss you" (i will invite everyone i want to kiss)
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some of y’all really can’t handle your mimi zima…lightweights
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artist are always releasing “stripped” version of their songs…i want to hear the AMPED version, the YASSIFIED version, the version with a FULL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA, give me MORE
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some people call me “brave” but i was never a middle school girl who did improv in front of her peers. there are some levels of courage i have not and cannot achieve
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seeing that couple that "rehomed" their autistic Chinese child after exploiting him for subscribers all day has made me sick. the danger of ableist parents adopting disabled children is enormous. the danger of racist parents adopting children of color is enormous. often life or--
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opening a google doc and seeing the little colored cursor on it from your other google account
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nothing makes me feel more lesbian than the straight men y’all call sexy. i’m not trying to be a hater i just literally ???? what am i missing
obsessed with women on tv who write themselves a very sexy love interest
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i thought that "not caring" in zoom classes meant never turning on my video or sound but i am learning it actually means recklessly keeping on my video and sound and doing whatever i want
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mission: let no one be fully sure what i look like throughout 2018 is nearly complete
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this is the exact emotional journey i went on when upperclassmen started talking to me in high school
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do i only know the history of fleetwood mac’s rumours bc of the glee episode? yes. will i pretend it is bc i know a lot about music and am very cultured to try and impress my girlfriend’s parents? absolutely.
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STOP i do not want to attend a panel of successful alumni i want to hear about ppl who left and were like well that was wack and are now chilling
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i love accidentally opening my personal google calendar instead of my school account and briefly experiencing the timeline where my only obligation is celebrating my birthday
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ethan slater doing big things for goofy musical theatre guys today…this could be great for me personally and disastrous for our society at large 🫶🏻
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every time bi girls have their bf’s “permission” to flirt/hu w girls but not boys...i feel like a detective trying to figure out if they have a healthy understanding of what they both need or the bf does not consider woman-centric desire of the same status as hetero interaction
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it is you just have to get the kind of degree that will not financially benefit you
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i think that playgrounds should be open sunrise-sunset for children and sunset-sunrise for adults and animals. let me go down the slide at 1am with my cat!!
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two kids in my class yday said they had 4 and 6 moms and i was like “haha wow you’re lucky!” but then at pickup a mom introduced herself as “one of” the kids moms and later said “cmon honey we’ve got a lot of moms waiting on us” and now i’m like. say more…
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when my friend’s parents describe me as “””artsy””” n i’m like........we all know what you mean. you can just say it. SAY IT, DIANE, I DARE YOU, YOU COWARD.
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i hear your “no more racist police” and raise you “no more police”
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no offense but both my parents follow me on twitter so i’m braver than the marines
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btw. i quit cigs then quit vaping then quit zyns/nic altogether in 2023 and that was one of my biggest accomplishments of the year…i’ll say it…that was hard and i’m proud of myself!
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my inspiration for become a musical theatre writer was lin manuel. i was not interested until he showed me you can write musicals where you are the star, the hot charming guy who everyone wants to kiss. then i decided to dedicate my life to the craft.
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getting a poppers holster made…one step closer to being the partying version of a boy scout
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baby:
-wants sleep
-oral fixation
-parents always worried about them
me:
-wants sleep
-oral fixation
-parents always worried about them
in conclusion, im baby
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hi my name is Jolene short for Jolene Jolene Jolene Joleeeeeeene/I’m begging of you please don’t take my man/Jolene Jolene Jolene Joleeee
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at berlin i kissed the love of my life for the first time…went out shirtless for the first time…************* in the ******** for the first time…and no bitter old men can take that away from me!!
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oh so THIS is what all those people were honking about yesterday
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i don’t mind if ppl continue to really really love harry potter but maybe just be hush hush about it. like a tiny mouse. tip toe tip toe for trans rights shhhhh
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call me daddy but not in a sexual way i’m gonna throw some food on the grill what to you want? brats? a burger?
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i gravitate toward people who in high school either snuck off-campus for lunch or ate in an english classroom/the library. if you did both we’re very compatible. the english classroom/library lunch people are better friends 100% of the time sorry!
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if a butch asks you if you’ve gotten your birthday punches SAY YES!!!
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if anyone (anyone) asks me to register for dance marathon i will scream. i will scream and i will follow them and they will try to escape but i will be there. screaming. no matter how far they run. or where they hide.
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this is a good political litmus test—do you regard the man in this image with disgust or respect?
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lydia got a camera which is very exciting for her and my self esteem ☺️☺️
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i’m genderqueer which means it is gay for men to be attracted to me, either straight OR lesbian for women people to be attracted to me (depending on my mood), and correct for other non-binary people to be attracted to me
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when i wake up and realize i get to make the little breakfast i dreamt up for myself while lying in bed the night before? that’s a real treat.
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evanston whole foods also has plain clothes cops or private security (not sure which) so be safe out there kids
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so many writers think they use too many em dashes but really brains don’t think w periods/discrete thoughts—em dashes just mimic how our thoughts typically flow
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this is so so scary friends please watch out. evanston MEN offer to walk your non-men friends places!!
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northwestern students are obsessed with proving they aren’t actually that rich and can complain about money too
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my last girlfriend always thought it was “disgusting and unhinged” when i would coax animals to poop directly into my hands to warm them up. today i did that and my girlfriend shoved her hands right into the warm poo with mine. trust me, there’s someone out there for you.
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pretending like their parents didn’t give them cocaine for a cough.....
what modern day thing do you think would kill a victorian era child? I think a single sip of 4loko would wipe them out
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you can’t gaslight us into thinking our reactions are dramatic. we hear each other’s anger, we see each other’s pain. you are only fooling yourselves.
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instead of giving your attention to the met gala, consider me in some gay boy’s bathroom
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hey since no one was asking, i generally prefer trans ppl use mostly he/him for me and cis ppl use mostly they/them. i also don’t care if u just use one exclusively if the alternative is u getting tripped up/misgendering me xo
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why would you see sufjan’s post abt his partner passing and make it about him “coming out” like first of all are you stupid second of all huh??
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[me making noise while the dental hygienist has her fingers in my mouth]
her: you alright?
me: sorry i was asking if you believe in god
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now how am i the only person in this 24 person acting class taking it fully remote lol
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i’m going to say what no one else is brave enough to...after your first posed pic in your insta post, you do not have to add that second picture with you in the same position but slightly more candid
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truly amazing that my state has plaques on the street in my honor !!
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want to start a campaign to help ambitious people realize they don’t have to be but i’m not ambitious enough (bc i realized i don’t have to be)
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i have not bought a writing utensil in years. why do people buy them. just look at the ground there is probably a writing utensil waiting for you right there.
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such an honor and pleasure to exchange this kind of trust onstage 🩸 love to all the freaks and pervs who were there with us
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me at age nine thinking about fictional elven women: i want them to love me i want to marry them and live eternally basking in their beauty, power, and intimidating stature. here is my heart, do what you want with it!
me at age nine: didn’t know i was gay???
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chant with me CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT! CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT!
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the theatre dept should NOT forward anything to us that has TEN “caucasian” roles out of fifteen listed
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he was a girl, she was a boy, can i make it any more obvious
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can’t wait to have a wedding only to dramatically reveal at the alter, much to everyone’s surprise, i am pledging myself as life-long friend and servant to all my 5-9 bridesmaids, not the actor i have cast as “groom” (who is being compensated with exposure)
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this is literally the only pic you need to understand me ages 7-13
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very normal behavior for my boss to suspend me for wearing a Free Pal3st1n3 hat to work. people have not lost their fucking minds and are acting completely rationally
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checking my crush’s liked tweets to make sure they liked the “like this if you brush your tongue” tweet
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“SOMEONE has to win” i tell myself as i submit a flavor to chobani’s creamer idea contest
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