michael greer @mgreer423 profile

michael greer

@mgreer423

Followers

4,017

Following

3,923

Media

33,977

Statuses

141,254

kitties and yard pets•my spirit animal dint make the ark• emotional support hooman •instigator/promoter of fuqqery/shenanigans •Humpty was pushed•

Illinois

Joined June 2012

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

Explore tweets Explore followers Explore following

Explore trending content on Musk Viewer

#JO1 • 338660 Tweets

#Mステ • 294909 Tweets

Xavi • 117183 Tweets

Scottie • 56295 Tweets

デザフェス • 37584 Tweets

Valhalla • 35246 Tweets

CHASING THE SUN • 34295 Tweets

平野紫耀 • 34265 Tweets

紫耀くん • 26835 Tweets

#小清水透3D • 24242 Tweets

Louisville • 20683 Tweets

Isco • 14345 Tweets

トップバッター • 13263 Tweets

しーちゃん • 12735 Tweets

Go City Go • 12356 Tweets

Erkan Yolaç

Jeff Darlington

ムロフェス

アヒョン

モイネロ

ALL HAIL THE TIGER

吉村くん

モンバス

実写アクスタ

カツキング

モササウルス

神アート

BOOOOOST円盤化

ジュラシックパーク

佐々木朗希

ジャスティス

オケコン再演

ヤマニハ

ひーくん

STAKE EDDIE

ジュラワ

LMPD

たかほー

パイレーツ優勝

マーフィー

階段降り

こいほー

わしほー

マイケル

ベビモン

すわほー

#ひー31歳インライ

ジュラシックワールド

横浜優勝

Last Seen Profiles

@HappyEgyptians

@hantaeu28175936

@solitary_temple

@Osamaos15530402

@Lazarus__Taxon

@PatoAnestesio

@collective1word

@squishy_hannie

@JackDaniel96566

@LouisVaillanco9

@kirin_giraffe_j

@eriseokmin

@danielrruf

@m_y_47

@QuizLiveTonight

@kkennedy68

@CumOnMyTongueXx

@marlont_51

@PhilippPhilippa

@_Wrap

Pinned Tweet

michael greer

@mgreer423

10 months

da kitty gang annnnd Motzi. my 4 up top. daughters lower left then my sons 🥰

10

5

65

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#QuestionsINeedAnswersTo Why are they called Apartments when they're stuck together?

59

619

2K

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#NewDisneyQuarantineRides Stash Mountain

9

175

1K

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ImOldEnoughToRememberWhen the last time i slept well

12

182

1K

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#IfGodHadALastName he does...its Damn 🤦‍♂️

20

127

1K

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#ScaryIn4Words kids are suddenly quiet

20

130

823

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#DumbThingsIBelieved common sense was actually common

11

205

792

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#SignsThatYouLiveInThePast still listen to 70's and 80's music... also cuz today's is shit

62

99

728

michael greer

@mgreer423

2 years

#ThereIsA99PercentChance you've done this

39

102

745

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

#WhyMenAreLikeToddlers they wanna free things and play with them 😈

41

77

663

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ThingsTodaysKidsCantDo "Roll down" a window even though its still a motion we use

7

80

688

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#SumUp2018In4Words Is it over yet?

6

157

647

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ThingsWeSayButDontMean "Ive nvr done this before' 🙄🤦‍♂️

26

91

565

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#MakeAVillainNice Loki Charms

17

99

533

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#JobsForMiserablePeople secretary at Monster's Inc *if you dint say this in her voice we cant be friends

13

83

524

michael greer

@mgreer423

2 years

@wsteaks dude at end

12

24

522

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ThatsHowTheApocalypseStarted they were near the Statue of Liberty

7

70

472

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#TheHorrorWasReal closed my eyes "briefly"

9

90

486

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#RejectedCareBears passed out face down in the ditch drunk bear ... aka "Misunderstood Bear"

3

67

468

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

@MysterySolvent 3 Whores Down

15

12

449

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#HeyLookThereIsADemon givin me stink eye

10

34

404

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#YouKnowYoureASidePieceWhen this happens....

12

55

395

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

@AuthorKimberley @AzXango she "appreciates" the sacrifice they made, implying that they had a choice. Sacrifice is something you do willingly.

6

21

402

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

#TheCalmBeforeTheStorm gets uz tretz or itz 3am zoomies!

21

45

382

michael greer

@mgreer423

1 year

#WasAHugeMistake told her to calm down

11

59

368

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#QuestionsINeedAnswersTo Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

20

71

319

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#LifeAdviceFromA5YearOld There's a nap for that

14

102

315

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

@kaitlancollins emergency was to leave briefing room to avoid questions

6

5

310

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA there arent any

7

43

271

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

#FavoriteRWord Ribeye

8

26

316

michael greer

@mgreer423

2 years

@Ancommiey "whoops...dropped the leash"

5

4

297

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#MoneyAMovie Broke AF Mountain

6

52

286

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#IfAlcoholDidntExist karaoke wouldn't be as fun

4

73

275

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#SexGoneWrongIn5Words lil on the ruff side

16

270

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

@DaleMoss2 and you know what in it 🪡🧵

20

4

278

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ThingsIWouldBan Unfrosted Pop Tarts

12

34

260

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#ThingsYouShouldNotSayOutLoud pretty much anything that comes out my mouth

0

52

259

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

#YourChildhoodWasNotFunIf these....you can smell them cant you

30

24

259

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#SideEffectsOfQuarantineLife finally have time to do laundry AND fold and put away

4

32

239

michael greer

@mgreer423

8 years

#RejectedNamesForHurricanes Divorce ....actually that could be accurate it'll take your house your car your boat the trailer

3

69

230

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#ReasonsIGetDrunk Have you "Peopled" lately?

1

40

235

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#BestMovieLineEver was by Elliot in E.T.

6

19

224

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#StartAnArgumentIn4Words "wherever you wanna eat"

8

39

235

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#AGoodTimeIn4Words pooping on company time

11

64

222

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#IStartMyDayBy like most people

10

30

219

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

The Baltimore Ravens #DidntLiveUpToTheHype

5

26

214

michael greer

@mgreer423

1 year

#WaysToSatisfyAWoman fuq if I know

1

32

211

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#HowWasISupposedToKnow that if a hooker has all her teeth she is a police officer

13

47

214

michael greer

@mgreer423

2 years

@KaylaChowShow 🤷‍♂️😏

4

2

222

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#RuinASlogan Like a good neighbor....stay over there🎶 wait...thats an AWESOME slogan

13

74

206

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#MakeAComedyHorrific Married with Children of the Corn

5

37

198

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#MightBeBetterThanSex cuddling with newborns

12

11

205

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#RuinABrandWithOneWord Breast Buy.....wait. thats an improvement

7

21

204

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#MansplainWomenProblems Not happening...its a trap

7

41

204

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ImNotARocketScientistBut i know enuff to not tell a woman to calm down

9

25

200

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#MakeMeJealousIn4Words I have yard pets

8

17

205

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#MyFamousLastWordsWouldBe I hid the money in......

4

27

203

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#AdultingIn5WordsOrLess Sucks the life outta you

3

38

196

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#HowToGetYourGuestsToLeave have your pets lick the plates and then put them away. They will never come back as well.

6

38

188

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

You dont like fur babies #NowYoureDeadToMe

4

22

192

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#ClimateChangeIn5Words all the proof you need @HashtagZoo

12

80

173

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ICantSleepBecause kitty cats

10

29

176

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#MarriageIn4Words not doing that again

7

13

176

michael greer

@mgreer423

1 year

#WasAHugeMistake petting that stray dog

9

44

186

michael greer

@mgreer423

1 year

@JoJoFromJerz our youth

5

7

189

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#ShareAFactNoOneAskedFor poop is tapered at the ends so your BHole doesnt slam shut

10

30

172

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#NotEveryoneKnowsThisBut Dwayne Johnson and The Rock are the same person

7

21

176

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

@VampiressBarbie

3

0

166

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#TraditionsThatNeedToGo Class reunions. dint talk to you then, sure as hell aint now either.

3

22

162

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#MySecretPower turning chocolate cake into crumbs

4

44

153

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#ThingsIHateBeingToldToDo read terms and conditions

0

24

150

michael greer

@mgreer423

8 years

#RejectedNamesForHurricanes Jehovah Witness ... cuz you close the blinds lock the doors and go hide in the basement @TheTrueDocLove

7

48

147

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

new yard pet 🥰🥰

19

26

149

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#SnackingSongs All the Pringle Ladies 🎶

6

28

143

michael greer

@mgreer423

8 years

#WhatMakesMeABadass 36 surgeries , cancer, brain tumor, on bout my 11th life- still kickin

7

17

142

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#TwitterRockSongs Block you like a hurricane

3

37

141

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#WhenABlackCatCrossesYourPath scoop him up and give him lovins

1

29

144

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#TypoASong Love is a Cattle Field

8

44

146

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

#SomeoneNeedsToSayIt cats are discreet

6

25

139

michael greer

@mgreer423

8 months

#BeforeThingsGetCrazy let me clarify

7

33

144

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#AdultingIn5WordsOrLess joints sound like spaghetti breaking

6

23

136

michael greer

@mgreer423

2 years

@MysterySolvent Klananarama

2

1

141

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#ICantStand cuz kitty cat

6

23

126

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

#WhatNotToSayToAWoman uhhh....nope not doing this tag

12

20

139

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#IWantToTravelTo this ramp and then get off 😉

8

41

124

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ThingsTodaysKidsCantDo experience anything with without pics, vids and/or posting it on social media

5

20

133

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#ImStartingAGangCalled Cat Nappers

11

21

131

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#RejectedCareBears Took it Like a Champ Bear

2

20

128

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#SexyStateSlogans Illinois- Wanna See our Bean? 😈

10

26

124

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#TheTestResultsCameBack the family tree is a hedge

8

2

113

michael greer

@mgreer423

4 years

#HowIKeepPeople6FeetAway shake a donation bucket

2

14

126

michael greer

@mgreer423

3 years

@MysterySolvent time to be with her boyfriend

1

0

120

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#MightBeBetterThanSex double treats out of the vending machine

1

11

125

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#HowIRuinAGoodTime Having a certain someone drive you home @MainEventMafia_

7

18

118

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#ThingsILearnedToAccept common sense isnt common

5

34

121

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#TheDateWasGreatUntil i noticed her Adam's Apple

11

23

117

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#IWouldBringBack the ability for children to play outside without the fear of being shot, kidnapped, violated, etc.

1

31

118

michael greer

@mgreer423

6 years

#ThingsIAlwaysSayYesTo My kitty kats

7

15

115

michael greer

@mgreer423

5 years

#MyFirstSexualExperience was in prison

11

107

michael greer

@mgreer423

24 days

Biopsies back already. no cancerous areas

26

2

123

michael greer

@mgreer423

7 years

#TrumpocalypsePlaylist Burning Down the House

0

19

109