matt
@mattsdoormats
Followers
27K
Following
72K
Media
2K
Statuses
19K
ceo, founder, dog dad, husband, writer, extraordinaire, visionary supreme, bearer of prophecy, the oracle, master of the universe
Joined July 2020
the doctors told us yesterday that they couldn't do anything more for my dad. i held his hand and said goodbye last night while we waited for life support to stop. we found out recently that he’d signed up for organ donation, and they found a match for his liver. he would've been.
2K
1K
55K
what is going on with mobile data and signal in the uk? im on o2, i live in a city and i can barely get 3G these days, and when it is 4G it hardly works, but when i was in the middle of a mountain in cyprus i had 5G? something is going on and i need stacey dooley to investigate.
2K
2K
40K
the hospital have just called to say that not only did they find a match for his liver, but both of his kidneys are on their way to 2 other people right now too. so so amazing.
202
176
25K
@evermoresivy zendaya was being physically swamped by paparazzi in her personal space and her boyfriend handled it, chappell has imaginary beef with multiple paparazzi and can’t let things go, squaring up to someone trying to intimidate them - very very different. hope that helps.
106
327
20K
@BoujeeNBanjee her fanbase get more of a kick out of narcissistic behaviours (posting themselves online constantly over-reacting to various things) than they do from new taylor swift music.
22
143
16K
i just wanted to say that all of you have genuinely made me feel so much love on this tweet and reading all of your stories has made me cry over and over (i need to, thank you). people on the internet can be incredible. ❤️.
185
97
14K
just witnessed a fight over the last christmas pudding in sainsbury’s between two middle aged women that ended with “i hope you fucking choke on your turkey” and the other woman replied “i’m vegan you daft cow” 💀.
88
792
15K
@DailyMail it’s gone from “he was in too much pain with his back he couldn’t have sex with women” to “bro’s a pornstar”, you guys need to choose a narrative and stick with it.
42
342
14K
a genuine shout out to everyone who suffers with SAD in the UK right now because honestly what the fuck is going on, i planned on being happy 3 weeks ago.
61
1K
14K
i met my first boyfriend on here when i was 18 and that lasted for 3 years, i then found my next boyfriend on here and that lasted nearly 7 years. it’s not all bad, you just have to sieve through the nonces and dribblers.
308
378
11K
@Dexerto this is no surprise, you could see on his face in the beast games how much dopamine he gets from using humans as toys. we’re heading in a very dark direction.
54
244
11K
just bumped into this guy walking out of the coffee shop as i was coming in and he spilt his drink and i demanded i get him another one and long story short now i have his number and i’m in a hallmark movie.
58
112
9K
had the best sleep ever until i woke.up and realised i forgot to close my bedroom blinds and my 86-year-old neighbor, who's been in her garden all morning, has had a very clear view into my soul and of my pole.
210
102
8K
@DropPopNet @sza i was expecting it to be from 2014 not last year hahahah also it’s humour, a dying art.
1
26
7K
another reminder that this woman has enough hits to perform another halftime show of completely different material to this one, not everyone can say that.
26
724
6K
@PopCrave jenna standing up to hollywood this early in her career is so powerful, the rest of the cast need to follow suit.
22
125
6K
i don’t know how to exist in a world where someone wants to enter a taylor swift themed event aimed at 5-10 year old children and proceed to stab them to death. i can't even begin to imagine the pain that the families of the victims are going through. harrowing.
35
841
6K
@_BRANDUN wait until they find out we’re all supposed to be naked and that we invented clothes and sexualisation.
35
114
5K
i’m sorry my wang is visible in these sweatpants, i can’t help being a burly top.
134
70
5K
i’ve recently started saying boyfriend instead of partner when speaking to companies etc on the phone and that’s big for me, it’s the little things.
67
81
5K
the fact the children are liking this and not reposting it is absolutely horrifying, rihanna’s red hair caused a red hair dye shortage in the UK it was that serious.
24
324
5K
na grindr replying to a tweet about my johnson has really tickled me.
12
18
4K
i feel like being gay you have to keep reminding yourself that you don’t need to look like the people you find attractive to be seen as attractive by other people and it’s insane.
54
485
4K
this world we live in where no one can do anything right is wild, if she took a private jet she’s destroying the planet and if she flies commercial she’s suddenly poor and over? exhausting.
35
379
4K
she’s never looked or sounded better, earning millions in the last two weeks with a new era, VMA’s, headlining rock in rio, opening the aussie AFL, and now flying home to peg orlando. you miserable rats will never make me hate her .
63
404
4K
the range of emotions i felt towards this woman over the course of that series is outstanding, i hope she eats at awards season
59
192
3K
@BritneyTheStan now imagine britney releasing a music video with a JT lookalike mocking his “miserableness” and doing interview after interview talking shit and the entire world talking about him for the next 15 years, imagine that.
17
126
3K
@lipasexual i don’t think people quite realise how hard it is to isolate your body from a turn like she does at 0:01, she is so insanely technically skilled.
22
20
3K
happy bisexual day to any guy who has been made to feel shamed by women and too straight for gay men and for anyone who says they’re just gay because it’s easier . (it’s me).
80
113
3K
@ayeejuju why am i on the same timeline as people who choose to believe a magical sky daddy is more believable than the evident fact of single cell organisms mutating over millions of years with hundreds and thousands of fact based evidence.
69
60
3K
@kileymissesari i’m convinced they only charged you for 1 croissant because there’s no way!!.
2
4
3K
some of you act like your alts are sacred stones that we have to discover on a treacherous adventure through antarctica.
37
167
2K
to give you an idea of her legendary status (that you guys could never take away) she’s surpassed harry styles and is in the top 30 most streamed artists in the world with no music out since 2020. she cemented a legacy.
Katy Perry has surpassed 60 million monthly listeners on Spotify for the first time in her career.
35
298
3K
@teejslipko funny, she was advocating for democrats and attending rallies longgggggg before it became a popular/well received thing to do for singers. but you get your quick likes.
17
39
2K
i can’t converse with people who think dogs are just dogs. what do you mean you lock him in a cage for 9 hours a night? what do you mean you can’t wait to chuck him in a kennel and go on holiday? these are living breathing highly intelligent angels who have eternal love oozing.
176
140
2K
omg i’ve just gotten so FAT over christmas i look like a pork BELLY pig with all the EXCESS weight i’ve put on, jesus christ guys i’m MASSIVE i can’t believe it, no more stuffing for this obese beached WHALE! . *posts pic of six pack*.
38
74
2K
i stole this from whsmiths and it lived under my mattress 😬.
36
55
2K
@taysfavcardigan you mean her fanbase and some of stan twitter have heard it therefore she shouldn’t do a promotional campaign to promote a brand new song that 99% of the world haven’t heard yet and need to know is coming out? damn you should manage artists.
7
17
2K
nothing injects more dopamine into my system than a new katy perry era announcement.
36
525
2K
@CHEAPYXOMIAMI you would have seen POO crave and not POP crave if you didn’t have a samsung with that dodgy font.
11
8
2K
i’m so sick of people disrespecting carrot cake, no cake should be disrespected in the first place but especially not the gorgeous elite soft sweet top tier carrot cake. name a better cake with a vegetable as an ingredient, i dare you! sick bastards.
145
85
2K
how are you re-recording old albums, performing for 3 hours a night around the world, flying through the night to see your hung footballer boyfriend and finding the time to write and record a new album, she’s not well.
42
132
2K
just went on a date for 2 hours around a garden centre, he doesn’t know it was a date and he does also work at the garden centre but i’m making him our third.
21
9
2K
i can’t believe how many people.thought it was just them, it’s time to start a revolution.
23
15
2K
@BuzzingPop crazy how many excuses people come up with when internet vibes don’t translate into real life.
9
21
2K
@superTV247 the bbc forcing a woman to pretend being groped on tv was a ‘joke’ doesn’t surprise me at all, very on brand.
30
70
2K
woman’s world isn’t anywhere near katy’s best song, but as soon as a “music critic” includes personal attacks and emotional language in their review it becomes obsolete, that isn’t journalism, it’s riding a popular hate train for engagement and stan twitter headlines.
31
268
2K
random guy at the gym came up to me and said “i’m sorry if this sounds weird but I saw you here a couple months back and you’re looking so much bigger, really well done man” and i nearly kissed him, never had a bigger boost of confidence in my life.
22
11
2K
the estate agent showed me a little more than i expected at a viewing today.
58
13
2K
@PopCrave you’re all so dense sometimes, even if an artist doesn’t take inspiration from madonna visually, artistically or sonically, madonna knocked down walls for women and took the brunt force of men in suits throwing everything they could at her. she literally changed the face of music.
20
72
2K
@arianatorswildt you can repost this all you like, it doesn’t stop the fact people are extremely concerned about her very apparent ED. there is no shame in care and worry. you guys will keep reposting this until it’s too late.
2
11
2K
he’s a recruiter and this was purely a business transaction, i’ve been linked-in’d irl. very sad.
25
3
2K
@EllerySmith13 @evermoresivy you guys love to put words into peoples mouths to feel better about your extremely sensitive opinions. no, i never said that, but tom defended her IN THE MOMENT, you won’t see him in 7 months time randomly start on those paps. she’s already defended herself (over nothing).
16
5
1K
how do i tell my new PT that instead of me sitting on the bench, he should sit on my face, without being too forward?.
36
25
1K
my flirty banter relationship with my straight PT has taken a very ambiguous turn recently.
30
10
1K
@NICKIMINAJ jesy hasn’t been doing this for 10 years nicki, why is no one on your team telling you this??? it’s been a problem since 2019 and leigh anne addressed it with her WHEN SHE WAS IN LITTLE MIX, how are you defending it????.
5
29
1K
the over acting and trying to think of something funny to say whilst someone’s dead is so??? stop making content with no substance for the sake of making content
48
45
1K
as sad as it is, if you are single and live with your parents/shared, do not for a second think badly of yourself. the ideology you have been taught doesn’t exist anymore, a dual income household is the only way to survive in the new world and they’re barely surviving themselves.
36
83
1K
my mate in london just facetimed me saying “come to my party” and i was like when is it? and he was like “it’s already started” - turns his phone around and there’s 20 gays fucked in a garden at 10am on a sunday, “you’re still going from last night aren’t you?” . “yessss!! come!”.
25
23
1K
