Martha PW
@martha_again
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it's Perotto-Wills / Associate Agent at the Bent Agency, former rare book peddler + gay historian
London
Joined October 2013
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when I tell you I'm working from home this is what you have to picture
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just read trinny & susannah's what not to wear 2 (2003) and have learnt that the past is truly a foreign country
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when someone says a book has "LGBTQ+ themes" I am always excited for a novel about urbanisation, cross-class sexual tension, interior design, libel trials, coterie publishing, camp, hothouse flowers, & self-fashioning, only to discover what they mean is "has gay characters in it"
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when you realise you can drink champagne cocktails in lingerie while surrounded by flowers any day of the year, the tyrant saint valentine will no longer have power over you
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i am in ecstasy over what tom hooper's CATS has done to respectable film critic peter bradshaw. that his review doesn't really scan and isn't at all funny is the cherry on top. it is simply an animal cry of pain. his mind is degraded. the old man is dying
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what's more offensive: the text or the fact that they think the outfit on the right is better than the 1 on the left
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seen some discontent in queer women's circles about all the lesbian period dramas coming out recently. give us a lesbian film set in the present day, people are saying. i just want to make it crystal clear, publicly, that this behaviour is Not In My Name. corsets til i die bitch
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family next to me in this restaurant clinked all their wine glasses, then, to include their unbelievably cute baby in the cheersing process, each gently clinked the baby on the head with their glass!!!! baby is delighted, they are delighted, i am delighted
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me and the gang arriving at the straight bar
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tonight thinking about these pictures of edward carpenter & george merrill, and the time a clergyman tried to post a religious tract through their door and merrill said "keep your tract, can't you see we're in heaven here"
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i can't be objective in my analysis of the harry styles album. it's like my child came home from school with some macaroni art of the kinks
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was feeling a bit sad about the prospect of xmas day without the usual 11am treeside blini feeding frenzy so I have made these life size blini ornaments to give to my family
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what i was sad not to see last night, in the year of The Favourite - and what i personally would have worn! - was some proper ancien regime drag, which would have been both very camp and very met gala in its offensively conspicuous consumption
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only day 2 of the trip and we've already found a dead bird lying outside the airbnb garden door, symbolically marking the point in this novel where the holiday turns at first subtly but ultimately irrevocably towards a darkness the characters cannot understand or control
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feels truly insane to be a lesbian in this country and be used as abstract leverage for profound transphobia by women who are so heterosexual they do that thing where they prefix “butch lesbian” with “self-described” because they still understand “butch lesbian” to be an insult
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i have seen people recommend 'a little life' THREE TIMES in the last two weeks in response to requests for beach / holiday / honeymoon reading and i would just like to ask: what the fuck is wrong with all of you
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help! my kitten has fallen in love with this sweet wrapper and cannot be without it
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my top 3 euphemisms for homosexuality used by the tour guide who showed me around charleston house:
1. alternative lifestyles
2. different life choices
3. complications
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opening 6 reviews of CATS to read on my commute in the manner of a spoiled boy-king tucking in his monogrammed handkerchief in preparation for his breakfast buffet
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here it is.......... the deco cigarette box avery bought for us to keep perfume samples in
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discussing with my girlfriend what is the most stylish meal. dinner is the obvious choice, but i contend that it is lunch. and i'll tell you why
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i have been catching up on bbc his dark materials & so far my hottest take is that lyra is not feral enough. 2 episodes in & she has not bitten even ONE person! not one! it's not good enough! are we so cowardly, still, as a culture, to not allow a small girl protagonist to bite
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i don't care about yr star sign tell me what agricultural thing your bday is on the french revolutionary calendar
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handed in my dissertation and also finally moved in with my beloved girlfriend! a big week for Martha!
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i've been so NICE while campaigning over the last few weeks! to so many people who didn't deserve it! now i am going to get hold of the electoral roll to organise a new kind of reverse canvassing, where we go door to door spitting at people who voted tory
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the best scene in any scifi film is the scene where they go to a space bar w/ a diverse space clientele & that's my final word on the matter
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is there anything more representative of heterosexual culture than the phrase "this one"
Meghan has met The Queen and the corgis took to Meghan the first time she met them. Harry: "I've spent the last 33 years being barked at; this one walks in, absolutely nothing …"
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what's ur level of depression rn. mine is the guy at specsavers couldn't fix my fav sunglasses & i said "well... everything ends, i guess"
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tired: stan twitter
wired: this instagram account which is run by a man pretending to be marlene dietrich's long-suffering personal assistant
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couldn't be more delighted to announce that £1 daffodils & £2 carnations are back in all major supermarkets and i cannot recommend enough buying loads of them so you wake up surrounded by cheap bright flowers every day
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i just muttered "dreadful boy" aloud to myself as i unfollowed my friend's ex boyfriend on instagram, just in case you were looking to cast a proprietary yet sinister maiden aunt in any period dramas you happen to be making
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the bouncer at the lesbian night looked into my backpack & said "olives?" & pulled out a jar of olives in front of god & the whole queue
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seen a lot of people arguing this sheer jumpsuit is not camp. i suggest in searching for camp in harry tonight, we look through the jumpsuit - to his terrible, earnest tattoos
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I'm out of the office indefinitely, dealing with an important event affecting my community. I appreciate your patience re: my delayed responses and will be back at my desk as soon as I can. All best,
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as queer people we get to choose our valentine's day and personally it's february 15th when all the flowers and pink champagne in the supermarkets go on sale
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i wonder if any lesbians are going to become early modernists because of THE FAVOURITE
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texted work that i was late because of train delays. actually i was 2 streets away and had just met this cat
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my party of five and the four men sitting in the row behind us in our otherwise completely empty showing of CATS entered the cinema as strangers........ but we left as family
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this weekend i ripped up an unused persephone books diary from 2013 and used the endpapers to make my old desk look like this. another victory in the ongoing war against minimalism
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our parents saw the fall of the berlin wall; we were on twitter when we found out cameron fucked a dead pig
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we are a victorian spiritualist medium and a ghost she has summoned 👻 yes we went as avery's dissertation for halloween, prosecute us under the 1735 witchcraft act
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this is the best tweet ever written
Gott in yeaterday spilt a fulllllllllllll! Tub of pasta on the floor, stupid stupidd stupidddddd boy smelly pasta house
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i'm just a girl, in a suit, in rome, sitting inside a bernini, befriending stray cats, inspiring queer awakenings in unsuspecting passers-by, feeling good
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i can't believe i'm living out my 20s in such an incredibly stupid decade and there isn't anything i can do about it
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delighted that the sexiest moment of my life so far, in which a woman in a suit teaching me to dance the rhumba told me "in the 1930s we'd have been arrested for doing this, so we'd better make it count," has made it into a piece of graded academic work
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when will booking dot com allow me to filter hotels in seaside towns based on 1. how haunted they are 2. how many of the reviews contain the phrase "faded grandeur". i do not care about if it has parking
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really feeling laura knight's gently homosocial cornish cliffside scenes in the face of this horrible weather
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at the gay pub quiz there is a team judith slutler and a team judith buttplug
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Two girls from different worlds. But you know what they say about opposites... This season, a Netflix Original by the creators of Riverdale
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a perfectly nice dress and they've slapped a primark pyjama tshirt slogan on it and you're all just lapping it up. honestly
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I STARED AT A WOMAN ON A BIKE AT HYDE PARK CORNER HALF AN HOUR AGO BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE LOOKED LIKE CARLY RAE JEPSEN AND NOW IT TURNS OUT IT WAS CARLY RAE JEPSEN
I don’t mean for you all to panic but Charli’s London gig is on Tuesday and Carly Rae Jepsen’s in London
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hi, it's LGBT history month and i have pretty extensive institutional access - let me know if there's a journal article etc you'd like and i will do my best to download it for you. all of us should be able to read our history
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quietly adding “pop culture fans” to the forty-foot-long parchment scroll upon which i calligraph euphemisms for homosexuality
Pop culture fans are freaking out after it was announced Kristen Stewart will play Princess Diana in an upcoming film that will cover a critical weekend when Diana decided her marriage to Prince Charles wasn't working out.
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VOGUE MAGAZINE asked me for HISTORICAL CONTEXT about QUEER WOMEN'S FASHION for this article! i now understand exactly how it would feel to be a doctor when someone asks "is there a doctor on this plane"
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j'adore the theory of human sexuality espoused by 1963 bestseller 'the group', where heterosexuality is a curse condemning women to misery but lesbianism leads to happiness, self-actualisation, living in palazzos, dating a baroness, staying hot forever & wearing only schiaparelli
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in my historiography seminar yesterday it was Foucault Week and i kept thinking like, for your showstopper paul and mary would like you to create a flawless 3 dimensional panopticon using four different patisserie techniques, the cell bars must be made of rolled chocolate cigars,
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HETEROSEXUAL CAMP:
gender reveal parties
itv's 'love island'
shark b-movies
novelty m/f signs on pub toilets
00s pop artist peter andre
the 'hen do'
kris kardashian
when non-humanoid cartoon characters have tits to show that they're female
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doctors have prescribed me all kinds of useless rubbish for my ongoing mysterious illness and STILL not one has ordered me to spend a fortnight in a dilapidated grand hotel on the riviera, taking the sea air and coincidentally solving a murder
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it's my birthday party and avery & i have dressed as a 1920s didactic newspaper illustration of Traditional Female Virtue vs Sinful New Woman
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i'm at a party where a lot of v posh men with rp accents are singing 212 v loudly & it's like... i guess that cunt getting Eton
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today in 30s antifascist style icons. she is being arrested for marching against mosley. i feel a huge rush of affection for her little socks and shoes
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dreamt the new series of drag race uk was full of posh queens and one week instead of doing her lip sync one of the contestants just stood unmoving in the middle of the stage and read aloud the yearly fees for the schools the others had gone to
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a woman in the bookshop told me she synced her period w the full moon & i was like oh cool how & she said "you just concentrate really hard"
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v excited to see jenny holzer's inflammatory essays in the tate modern! ever since i first stood in front of them for like an hour in the centre pompidou when i was 16 they have rocked my lil world
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lunch is a pocket of luxury within the ordinary... lunch is frank o'hara wondering if you had lots of anchovies with yours. lunch is a single glass of wine. lunch allows you to wear sunglasses and sit outdoors. lunch is small but perfectly formed. lunch is VERY french
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in CATS there is a bit where a cat steals some rings from a human's bedroom and wears them as loose-fitting bracelets on its cat arms. i have recruited a reluctant tabasco to demonstrate that tom hooper has never seen a cat in his life
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fennel died today. when we got her i was 7 & she was a scrappy little brat who would scramble up to sit on my shoulder when she wanted attention. we grew up together! she was a grand old dame. i'm going to miss her & her unique little nose
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feeling iconic but like in an eastern orthodox church artistic tradition sense
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new hiddleswift material forces us to confront a shocking reality so heterosexual as to be almost unimaginable
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the extended nightmare of the last 4 years has become completely worth it because of this email, i'm ecstatic
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cheers to
@averyelisabeth8
for taking these pictures of me in venice mere months before my tragic death driving ambulances for the loyalists in the spanish civil war!
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right, hello, as promised i have written an essay about 'vita & virginia', vita, virginia, queerness, and missed opportunities, for
@anothergaze
"Chanya Button has boasted that “[audiences] have said they forget it’s between two women.” I can’t think of a worse sin for a fictional gay relationship to commit than to be indistinguishable from a straight one"
—Martha Perotto-Wills on 'Vita & Virginia'
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in taking time out of daylight hours which you ought to be working through, lunch is chicly anticapitalist. that lunch can be so unglamorous, so counter to human flourishing (an m&s tuna mayo box sandwich at your desk) makes a deliberate, considered lunch all the more stylish
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happy deathday to natalie barney! take a hundred lovers, build a temple to sappho in your back garden, have your mum paint a picture of you as lucifer, do not become a fascist
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would like to say i went to the ladies pond for the first time yesterday and looked up from my sunbathing to see the queer couple in front of me literally just brushing & carefully braiding each others hair for like half an hour. so yes it is everything everyone said it would be
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while i was sleeping someone i've never heard of wore my dissertation to the met gala
THIS is my favourite
#MetGala
look! Amy Fine Collins wearing a sequin print of Romaine Brooks' portrait of Una Troubridge - Brooks disapproved of Troubridge's foppishness and male dress and painted her with exaggerated angles to make her look ridiculous, which sparked a huge row
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hello did you order some ambiguously murderous lesbians for your new bbc agatha christie adaptation? i have two here. you have to sign for them
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if only you could bottle and sell the feeling of dawning, reluctant, hopeful, despite-yourself joy that exists in the 30 seconds AFTER you arrive at a major london road pedestrianised by extinction rebellion but BEFORE you see a white person with dreadlocks
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i LOVED this menswear microtrend which paired messy construction (inside-out stitching like a mannequin in a tailor's window, unfinished seams, wobbly lines) w the historically androgynous (louis xiv shoes and hosiery, shapely calves, 20s finger waves); it's pure sontag
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ah, yes, i love sexy pulp fiction, and can't wait to pick up this juicy volume for some saucy pre-bed reading
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there are lots of real genuine queer stories from wwi that don't follow a gratuitously tragic narrative based on a 2010s conception of the gay past as exclusively a site of suffering / a saccharine subplot from 'glee' except the names are changed & everyone has little moustaches
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there were 3 periods in british history: the tudors, the victorians, and the blitz. everything else is what's known as the 'dark ages'
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a strong xmas gothic showing in the house today as my mother runs around with a bag of cockerel's blood and my grandmother tells us "i haven't ballroom danced since i lost that finger"
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hi
@BuzzFeed
plz dm me to negotiate payment for my quiz idea, Which Seventeenth Century English Parliament Are You
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once told a man to fuck off & he said "i like them feisty" which is probs the most skincrawlingly repulsive thing anyone has ever said to me
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my best tweets are languishing in my drafts, never to see the light of day
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is this weather making anyone else feel like nothing in the world is real. in the middle of the shop at the end of the workday i booked a flight to the cote d'azur and then poured a full bottle of water over my head
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tonight i'm serving the judges lesbian lord byron meets virginia woolf's orlando. i'm walking down the runway like it's childe harold's pilgrimage and i feel sickening
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REASONS I HAVE CRIED TODAY:
1. read a frank o'hara poem on the plane
2. 'moon river' came on shuffle
3. saw the new york skyline from the window of the cab
4. saw a different bit of the new york skyline from the window of the cab
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a big mood
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hi is steve there? hi steve, my name's martha, i'm a volunteer calling from your local labour party. i just wanted to say you absolutely fucked it and i hope you die
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thank you for reading my lunch manifesto. i had two poached eggs on toast with capers and anchovies for mine while writing at the table by the window
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this picture of art students in 1934 wearing "the evening dress of the future" which they designed for their new year's ball has me ITCHING to throw a retrofuturist costume party
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