His Excellency Sir Luke
@lukeyism
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Young Labourite Crop Over Ambassador
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Joined January 2011
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Mark your calendars! Another
#BetterBim
meeting coming to you live on May 15th. Discussing Reparations (and what that means for you), the absolute state of the DLP and the proposed Cybercrime Bill
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KFC had 11 secret herbs and spices and nobody questioned it for years but suddenly you want to know what’s in the Covid vaccine
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His grandmother and grandfather are cousins but of course it’s Meghan Markle making him bald at 34
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Homophobia is just so…. Pointless. You angry at people you don’t have sex with about who they have sex with. Grow up
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My aunt once took a bunch of us cousins out and she only fed her child while the rest of us looked on. It was a scandal that rocked the family for months. My grandmother was beside herself
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5 Jamaicans lost in a music category created by Jamaican people in Jamaica, created out of the Jamaican experience & rooted in Jamaican culture. They lost to an American reggae band from Arlington, Virginia
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Not a link, not a source, not an interview referenced. Just bad photoshop and vibes
Meg Thee Stallion says her boyfriend is "Embarrassed" by media coverage of her sexual history
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Rihanna dismantle a whole brand and make them restart from the ground up
Think you know us? Meet the new Victoria’s Secret. Learn More:
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When people go low, go lower. Get under an ant. Drill into the Earth’s crust. Teach them to leave you alone
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Work: do you have a Twitter?
Me: no please
Work: why does this twitter account with your image say “fuck working for the white man”?
Me:
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Rihanna please. At least People or something. Vogue. Somebody half decent. Barbados Today even
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The UK had 4 prime ministers in the last 6 years. If that was an African or Caribbean country the UK would call us politically unstable and the US would threaten intervention
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Me to Black Brits after they get deported for joking about the Queen’s death
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Y’all think kissing is too intimate but not penetration?
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Y’all driving with AirPods in is wild to me. You don’t drive by sight alone. How you supposed to hear the ambulance? Brakes squealing? People blowing horns to alert you?
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I’m sorry but West Indian culture is that you feed guests. You feed everybody. It’s bad manners not to feed people so this entire Swedish/European food discourse is fascinating
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Barbados was really her last horcrux. We wasn’t a Republic for a year good
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Some of y’all tolerate absolutely useless men because you are afraid of being alone and think that a man claiming you is a prize. Love yourself please you’ll be so much further along
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The images that come out from Carnival do not reflect the reality. There are a lot of normal bodies on the road happily playing mas. Not everybody is skinny/toned/muscular, light skin & curly hair. Lots of dark skinned people and lots of fat people having the time of their lives
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You know if I search your name and “gay” you tweeted about gay people at least twice a month every month for the last year? Even as far back as 2017? Is there something you want to tell the class? 🎤
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People come to Barbados looking for Jamaican style food, because that’s their only reference point for anything Caribbean, and then get upset and say the food is bad.
Please be serious
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Mbappe shoulda put on different wigs and shoot all
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An oyinbo woman rushed on the elevator and I screamed and grabbed my bag. Gotta let them know that they scare you too
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Anytime a man convinces you he’s different from the rest he’s already scammed you
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Preparing for when I could say “Oh, you is Ms. Fenty first boy. I went school wid you mudda”
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CARICOM need to drink water and mind its business. Get you oil from T&T, Guyana and Venezuela
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The worst part of the pandemic is the way that we saw so many solutions to help our society function more efficient and after lockdown we went right back to the same old bullshit
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somebody: how you doing today? How’s your mental health?
My anxiety: tell them you’re fine
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Bajans in BBQ Barn watching Chefette Man coming back into work sweaty and rumfle up
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I’m here for West Indian leaders checking these arrogant Western reporters
“Let me stop you right there…”
Caribbean nation Guyana is booming after discovering oil. BBC’s Stephen Sackur puts it to President
@presidentaligy
; lobbyists say oil is bad for the climate.
Dude wasn’t having it. Mans was ready!
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Guys please don’t eat parrotfish. They’re vital for our reefs which are already suffering
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Remember guys don’t kill parrotfish. We need them for our reefs
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We had slavery for over 200 years in Barbados and God ain even flinch. You think some weed and same sex marriages gonna rattle Him?
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Barbados not having a Fenty Beauty store is a national crime
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When I get to the UK Border and they ask me about my Lizzie tweets
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Me: wyd tonight? I passing through a Halloween party
My friend: well I get baptize now so Christians can’t go to them things
Me: you ain’t gay?
Them:
Me:
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Being “real” doesn’t mean you have to be unnecessarily harsh to people
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I not bringing no child into this world for me and the child to stare at one another when we get hungry
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I was at Sea Shed on Sunday and asked the waiter for a recommendation. He gave one and I asked if it taste bad if I could complain to the manager. He say no you could go on Twitter and complain like normal
Me:
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The Bajan urge to scream out “Wuh de rashole gine on in hay!” anytime I get confused or upset in an establishment
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Rihanna like 9 months big pregnant and still out in heels. She really is that bitch
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I miss being drunk in fetes and telling people “I good I good” whole time I fighting for my life and can’t see straight
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A lot of men on here certainly not gay but you definitely don’t like women
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If you go UWI make friends with people from other islands. Collect them like infinity stones. You will never regret it
30+ Twitter, drop some advice y'all wish y'all knew in your 20s!
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We are West Indians or Caribbean ppl not Caribbeans
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Can we get a video of all 13? Just to see. For research purposes
I mean…. You can tell he’s good looking COVERED IN OLE OIL. PLEASE. 🧎🏾♀️There were 13 of them that looked like him but different fonts. I was SICKKKKK
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I call my wrecker and he girlfriend answer the phone like she thought I was the outside woman.
Her: hello
Me: uhhh hello I was trying to contact Skinny?
Her: yes this is Skinny GIRLFRIEND
Ma’am plz 😭 I just want a tow truck
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The gag is she’s exposed herself as somebody who doesn’t travel because going to the Caribbean is not cheap
let me double down EVEN MORE.
going to the caribbean is cheap and can be done easily with or without a passport
it’s not as easy getting to dubai, italy or greece, or some place that costs REAL coin with real flight times & airlines
& its a diff type of traveling versus an all…
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“Nah fight no gyal over no man, mi no idiot”
Prince Harry reveals music artist he listened to in his lowest moments in new book ‘Spare’.
“In the times I felt alone and separated from my family, I always took time to myself to sit back and listen to Shenseea. Her lyrics resonated with me and got me through a lot.”
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“She can’t wukkup”
“She look stiff ic”
“She ain’t doing nuffin”
Show us your video then
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Cultural differences between Jamaica and Barbados on the meaning of bulla makes me scream laugh at this tweet for a different reason
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Introducing His Excellency Lukeyism, First of His Name, King of Spring Garden and the Mighty Grynner Highway, Khal of Kadooment, Warden of Waterford, Ambassador of the Barbados Crop Over Festival
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Best Reggae Grammy was won by a non-black non-Jamaican group?
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Women on social media: I can’t deal with no broke man
Women in real life: babe you need gas money? 🥺 you ate today? I can buy you something and bring it
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Me: omg yes the curfew finally moving to 12!
Me at 8:45:
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It’s not a world tour if it don’t include the Caribbean
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Got $40 in my name and my delusional ass there saying “God will provide” and “the money gine come back”. Today my estranged aunt who lives in the US, who I’ve never seen or spoken to, sent me $500 US out the blue
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The good old days. Back when men dressed like men 😔
What y’all wearing to the Earth Wind and Fire and Isley Brothers Verzuz
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Jamaicans: Bajans are docile & stupid
Jamaicans: Small island twitter share one router
Jamaicans: the Caribbean is Jamaica & Friends
Also Jamaicans: Lawd God why the other islands hate we so? 🥺 what we do unnu?
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The world should have changed dramatically after COVID but people were too busy trying to rush back to what existed before
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Rihanna see Serena and Beyoncé nearly dead in American hospitals and say yea I gine home
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Burna Boy coulda sing the 4 songs Bajans know, collect he cheque and went home 😂😂😂. Man put out art and people didn’t appreciate enough
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My aunt giving me a suitcase to carry back for my mother but nobody can’t tell me who paying the extra bag fee
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Taking the high road benefits no one, least of all you. Bring them to a Christian understanding. Let God use you to send a message
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That’s it. Jokes over
Telling my children that these flags are for cities in Jamaica
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Me: my package land on Monday so I should get it Thursday the latest
Customs:
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lol I believe many men understand sexual harassment and consent very well they just choose to pretend not to. Cause once you explain it in terms of a gay man hitting on them suddenly everything is crystal clear
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Getting up at the ass crack of dawn, bathing, getting dressed, making breakfast, fighting morning traffic to go the office to do the same work you could have done at home
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I just had a friend tell me that the chip in the new ID card is to track them. The island is 166 sq miles and you’re broke. The govt doesn’t need to track you, you’re not going anywhere
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After a certain age you simply must get a grip on your emotions or they will rule you. Stop avoiding difficult conversations just because you aren’t emotionally mature
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There’s a lot to do in Barbados but ppl don’t know. There’s horseback riding on the East Coast, ATV riding, jet skiing like anywhere, snorkeling in Carlisle Bay and the West Coast, the light aircraft flights from the Light Airplane club behind the airport
It’s sad that outside of partying there isn’t much else to do
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God ain’t flinch at slavery so I sure he don’t give two hot shits if you capitalize the g or not
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TL sleep? Your virginity renews itself every year. Body count is a social construct like Massy points
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22? Oh my sweet summer child, 26 and 28 will humble you and bring you to the foot of the cross
I thought life was hard at 20 but yuh see 22? Caw blen my life in pieces yuh😂😂😂
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A lot of people need to learn what love actually means. You’re attracted to me. You desire me. But you don’t love me
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Them lucky cause if you land in Barbados on a one way ticket talking bout group trip, Immigration gine tell you sit down on that bench there and don’t move
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Sometimes you just gotta say “ok” and stop responding
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The Christian urge to treat everybody like shit and claim that it��s my faith
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I want people to remember that being able bodied is temporary. You are always one small step away from becoming disabled. Something as simple as a fall. Do not take life for granted
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No. The diaspora is too large. You do not live here. You will not have to deal with the consequence of the decision
#OPINIONPOLL
: Should West Indians living abroad be allowed to vote in national elections within the Caribbean?
#VoteAndRT
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