As a kid, I used to think that "lightvessel" on the shipping forecast meant some sort of ship that wasn't particularly heavy. It was only today when I saw a model of one in a lighthouse did it dawn on me that the name comes from the fact there's a great big light in the middle 🤦

Just download and read this 22 page pdf. Done? Great, now download and modify a .docx file. You have a choice of 3 file formats to save your response in, but be aware the third choice has two additional conditions. Now email the file to an address that doesn't sound related...

I know there's often calls for TFL to take over the running of various bits of rail infrastructure. But top priority needs to be TFL taking over the Office of Rail & Road's running of public consultations. It's been a long time since I've seen a worse consultation format...

Trying out the elephant site for a while. (Does anyone call it that? Feels like what the zoomers would call it) Not gonna cross post, because a fresh start is the best thing about trying out new social networks. https://t.co/KxB03PNUVV

New favourite thing to do during big news is guess which Wikipedia page it'll cause an edit war on, and just keep refreshing the revision history. Today I chose "List of prime ministers of the United Kingdom by length of tenure" and it didn't disappoint🍿 https://t.co/mA6IKIJ6kZ

When people say to me "that's a good question", are they really complementing my question-making ability? (I believe this question is a good one)

So, I've heard lots about the protocols which happen now (including how they clean up the East Coast mainline after the flowers). But one thing I'm not clear on: Do the Sex Pistols have to rerecord their greatest hit to change the gender?

The randomly generated notification was so inconsiderate by not going off when I had an awesome view of the sunset.

No plans for this evening and today's Be Real hasn't happened yet. So loitering in some central London parks to maximise the chances of being near something pretty when it does...

Been wondering why my laptop keeps running out of disk space. Have just discovered a single webpage which has stored 43.4GB of data!! To be fair, I was the one who wrote the webpage and never got round to implementing cache purging, so have no-one to blame but myself. 🤷‍♀️

My ears are hearing really good music being played live. But my eyes are seeing someone struggling to pretend to play an instrument they've clearly never actually played.

Had a great night at a West End Musical. But found it funny when the plot involves musical instruments. The actors mime playing the instrument, and meanwhile there's a professional musician below them in the orchestra pit, playing that same instrument to a very high standard.

Found my new favourite road sign!

Just saw a dating profile where someone seemed to have a thing against the Office for National Statistics. Thought that was an odd gripe for a dating app, until I finally realised ONS could also be an abbreviation for One Night Stand...

Good luck to any techies out there having to deal with software built in London over the past 6 months, which uses UTC and local time interchangeably and has worked absolutely fine up until today. There's always one...

Is it just me who thinks "2 truths and 1 lie" is the least helpful dating app prompt ever? Literally 33% of my first impressions will be based on falsehood. - can't found a relationship on those levels of misinformation.

Bad news everyone - we won't be getting a leap second this June! 😢 Fingers crossed there'll be one in December...

Only in Belfast do you get a flight delayed "because the air traffic controller is on his break" I miss this sort of thing in London.

In what may be my greatest accomplishment ever, Google now officially recognises Aldovia as a bonafide country and not a fictional place from Netflix's Christmas Prince films.

I'm pretty sure there's thirteen. Like, I've rewatched the opening sequence and paused it after every book to make sure. Look, I've even written a wiki page documenting the names of all thirteen: