Lorna Rose Treen
@lornlornlors
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character comedienne, killer of comedy, Britain's Next Top Model 2025 (embargoed) / associate artist @ThePleasance / rep: isaac @unitedagents
she/her
Joined October 2011
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Pinned Tweet
i killed comedy
BRAG ABOUT SOMETHING YOU’RE PROUD OF ACCOMPLISHING IN 2023 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
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it's now legal for two households to meet up, but they have to be both alike in dignity
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album covers that look exactly like the album sounds
album covers that look exactly like the album sounds
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@ali__hin
I bet Britney's vows were like🌹i Britney🙈✨️take thee💕sam 💁♀️to be my loving husband 🤴🌹
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My dream bf
- 6ft
- owns house
- has driving lisence
- 39 years old but doesn't age
- balding except for 2 hairs
- job in STEM (eg. nuclear power plant)
- wears same clothes every day
- good taste in donuts and other meals
- been to space
- loves me a LOT
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The only people who love standing in a circle are theatre makers and witches
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hilary duff is actually short for hilarious duffle bag
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Show me two actors with insane chemistry.
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@edcmpbl
Why is one talking to the dad and the other is talking to the brother. Terrible story telling.
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I didn't know London had a straight pride until yesterday!
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@BBCNews
Uh it’s in the title BALL room, one of them has to have balls. I only watch it for the balls. You’ve lost me, BBC. British Ball-less Competition. Me and my wife will NOT be watching.
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@ABC
Gov: Hey thanks for your help, I will grant you one wish in return.
Nurse 1: Pay rise please
Nurse 2: Pay rise please god
Nurse 3: Ferry doing donuts on the Thames!
Gov: ding ding ding! I heard ferry doing donuts on the Thames!
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Working a full-time job to support your creative side hustle is really difficult, but Homer managed to write the Iliad whilst clocking in at the nuclear power plant every day. Inspirational
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I was LIED to as a child that work xmas parties would be in the office and not vodka revs! I was so ready to scan my ass on the printer! And put my ass on the boss' desk. And put my colleague's stapler in my ass. Mainly missing out on ass based stuff
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My bf and I put the sofas together like a boat and called it the mega boat and spent 2 whole days and nights straight in the mega boat leaving only to wee and forage for food
Mental-health crisis from pandemic was minimal, study suggests
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Wow well fuck thank you this was nice
@chortle
. Thanks
@watsoncomedian
and
@ShappiKhorsandi
can't believe i even got to go on stage with you legends. Big thanks Steve and everyone who voted for me, super cool actually! !!!! Love comedy!!!
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I am sans soundcloud (sans teeth, sans eyes...) So, arrest the cops who killed Breonna Taylor, Black Lives Matter and fund the British arts before it’s too late.
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A father and his son are in a car accident. The father dies at the scene and the son is rushed to the hospital. At the hospital the surgeon looks at the boy and says "I can't operate on this boy he is gross!"
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❤️ I DOUBLE WON THE FUNNY WOMEN AWARDS 2022!! !!!❤️
Here's a Samsung note (quirky gal!)
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@BBCNews
BuT hOw WiLl ThEy FoX tRoT if OnE oF tHeM is NoT a FoX? ThEy DoN’T hAvE tHe CoRReCt aMounT oF TaiLs!
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just done some maths and we can afford an app if we cut 'dance'. Is everyone ok with this? ?
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Every day I am stopped repeatedly in the street, in cafes or on the tube by people who say (often tearfully)
“Keep going. We are behind you. You speak for the people who thought they were dating a zookeeper but it turned out they were a cheetah.”
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Girls: before you send that email, go back and delete the bit where you've written "if that makes sense". Instead, chuck your laptop out of the window and board a flight to Cuba. None of this matters
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#OVConnect
I would love to meet a rich benefactor and/or patron like the young artists did in the old days. Please pay my rent, fund my art and tell your rich friends to also invest in me.
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🧡POSTER REVEAL🧡I'm so excited [!!!!🤪!!!] to bring my debut comedy show Skin Pigeon to Edinburgh Fringe 2023! A stupid gorgeous character comedy show full of joy and nonsense. I can't wait for you to see it. Design by @
@markjones2751
. Pic, as always, by Will Hearle 📷
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I don't know who needs to hear this but if you're casting for Cherie Blair in the crown
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Mum and sister are isolating with covid, so it's just me and the old man for xmas. He decorated.
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🚨nice news alert! 🚨 I've just signed at
@UnitedAgents
with the wonderful Isaac Storm ✨️
📷 (as usual) by Will Hearle
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I can't believe the BBC is letting us make this...
BBC Comedy Series!
Hugely honoured to finally reveal myself and
@lornlornlors
have been commissioned to make a comedy series for Radio 4. A ridiculous character-led sketch show called "Time of the Week" parodying women's news and current affairs!
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It's cold.🥶 The cost of energy is rocketing.📈 And you're working from home, sat in one place all day, trying not to turn the heating on... Here are 5 EASY money saving tips from someone who's been a WFH freelancer for 35 years:
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@RosieisaHolt
What was Toby Jones doing when he could have been sorting at the post office 😡thanks for speaking up rosie
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✨I can't actually believe I'm typing this but I just found out I'm a finalist in the
@funnywomen
stage award FINAL AND(!) my short has been shortlisted for the final too! WHAT ON EARTH ✨
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@failurebabe
Dyslexically read this as ‘Do you identify as German?’ and was so confused! Then I re-read and I was so happy! Beautiful!
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Mental-health crisis from pandemic was minimal, study suggests
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Pleased to announce I absolutely cocked up my driving test this morning and failed spectacularly within 20 minutes of my drive
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I'm not taking tips from a table no matter how cool you look
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The fact we're still getting sketches with Catherine Tate's Nanna character shows how few woman character comedians you've let do stuff on TV in the past 15 years. Outrageous.
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WE GOT A SOHO RUN 🐤🐤 London London London
🚨
@LORNLORNLORS
@SOHOTHEATRE
DATES NOW ON SALE!! 🚨
Fresh from rave reviews and an entirely sold out
#edfringe
run (+extra shows), the award-winning Lorna Rose Treen is bringing her debut hour SKIN PIGEON to Soho Theatre for 9 nights in October 😍🐥
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My wife is divorcing me over the app thing. Thanks everyone
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absolutely toxic behaviour happening in my family chat
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Join in if you're normal
This sounds exactly like something a normal person would say
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I woke up like this (with Skin Pigeon as the
@telegraph
number 1 show to see at the Edinburgh fringe!!!) Thank you so much 😭can't wait for you all to see my silly show
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The most BBC email to receive ever but UTTERLY THRILLED to have got a place on the BBC elevate scheme! THIS LIL NEURODIVERSE BABY IS GUNNA BE AN AP IN TELE, HUNNIES!
Also I've legally changed my name to {$recipient_firstname}
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Make your gay characters complex. Problematic. Nasty fuckers who do bad things. Unapologetic. Evil. Manipulative. Unlikeable. Three dimensional. Villainous. Not just the ‘cute’ teens holding hands.
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if you keep complaining we'll get rid of mosque kitchen🤷♀️
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Just to spread a bit of positivity into the world - I came out as bisexual to my parents today. Their response was ‘Okeydoke!’ It was very easy and I feel very lucky to have them in my life. Happy
#PrideMonth
everyone 🧡🌈
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When a Shakespeare could be set anywhere, at anytime, why does everyone set them in WW2? I wanna see Hamlet in an ant colony! I wanna see Loves Labours Lost in a failing sperm bank! I wanna see Macbeth in a McDonalds! Taming of the Shrew with real shrews
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I just learnt that Gregg Wallace isn't a chef!? What IS Gregg Wallace? And why doesn't he spend more time with his son
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We’re mega excited to say the FRINGE 2022 PROGRAMME IS HERE!🥳 If you wanna see it (we only printed one) its on display in a locked cabinet in the Hive. You'll need a key. A man named Mick is wandering in the meadows. REMEMBER to bring Mick an offering or he'll get blood lust 🥳
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Artie Ziff wrote this tweet
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Hi guys, this is Humpty's gf here. Just to let you know he had a great fall yesterday so is recovering away from twitter. He appreciates all of your messages of support as he gets himself✨together again✨
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Just wow 😭🩷
Channel 4 launches the Sean Lock Comedy Award | Nominations for the inaugural accolade announced
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now david cameron is finally back post a pic of you from 2010 to celebrate
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This is absolutely ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an absolute dream!!!!!!!! Thank you so so much to anyone who's come, plans to come, or has seen a wip!!!! Big thank you to
@countrymileprod
@Jon_W_Oldfield
and my incred tech opp Jake Wood
🚨
@LORNLORNLORS
HAS SOLD OUT HER ENTIRE
#EDFRINGE
RUN! 🚨
26 sell-out shows and incredible reviews - and if you didn’t manage to get a ticket, we recommend keeping an eye out later this week… 👀
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Heartbroken to not get the fringe bursary. £2000 would've been a scratch on the total cost (£10000ish) but would've sincerely helped. Don't know what more I could've demonstrated. This isn't enough. Helping 50 people isn't enough. Big ty to my access support Ash
@_TheUncultured_
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Co-running my first writer's room tomorrow for our BBC Radio comedy showwwww! I am squealing like a little pig over here
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⭐️the Lorna is out of the bag!⭐️ I'm debuting at the
@edfringe
this year! I'm busy perfecting my social etiquette, good morals and maybe I'll leave with an eligible husband!!🤞Can't believe my luck (whaaaat!!) to work with my fab team and an actual dream to be at
@ThePleasance
💛
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I wasn’t allowed to take Art GCSE and I never understood why. Just found my year 9 sketch book:
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Which benign TV character or personality did you harbour an irrational loathing of as a child? Me:
Which benign TV character or personality did you harbour an irrational loathing of as a child? Me:
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I write a lot of jokes on my iphone but the autocorrect is always fucking up the zookeeper
damn you, auto-correct...
🎤 Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer now playing only on Netflix
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Hosting a mixed-bill night where comedians have to perform only their 45-minute-in 'sad' bit. Back 2 back. Really teach the audience what comedy is
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Whatever is happening to Sophie Ellis Bexter, she deserves it too
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Unbelievably proud to announce I am the winner of 'worst joke 2023' (the Mirror)!!! Really incredible to have beaten Trump AND two sex pests(!) with my pun about the zookeeper turning out to be a cheetah 🐆
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I invested in stock cubes and now I'm a bouillonaire!
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the bit in love actually where joanna points at the boy and says "and you" but then points at loads of other people and says "and you and you and you" good for you slut. good for you
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Big nice day as I finally did the admin to leave BECTU and join Equity! RIP journalist Lorna, you're DEAD NOW. I will always remember those fond 5 years of working as [job title]
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Spotlight: we are releasing a new feature called ACTING+. For only £200, get exclusive access to PLAYING A ZOMBIE IN THE LONDON DUNGEONS and the opportunity to RIFLE YOUR LITTLE HANDS THROUGH ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER'S BINS.
If you really want to be an actor, prove it ! with money!
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Never have I been more ashamed to be British. Your evil choice does not represent me. Your voices do not represent us.
#SyriaVote
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Put the year you were born in the gif bar and see what you get.
Put the year you were born in the gif bar and see what you get.
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5 🧥 It might sound simple - put on an extra jumper! And walk to your boss' house. Demand a pay rise. If they refuse, go inside their house. Put on their jumper. You're boss now. Take their wife for dinner. Attend their kid's xmas school concert. Nothing's as warming as family♥️
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App this. App that. why can't you just be hAPPy to spread the joy of the arts? (pls don't forget to pay your registration fee of £400)
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(I'm just a girl sitting in front of a laptop BEGGING people to look at my bio before they yell at me for not making an app)
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You're on your death bed. Your loved ones around you fade. A bright light fills the room. He appears. He's come to take you across the river
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Oh my gosh!!!!! I've been nommed for best newcomer in the
@chortle
awards 😭🫠🥳😮If you like me please will you vote for me? 🥳🤠this is so nice!!!🫨
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Absolute legend Dara Ó Briain came to my show!!!!!
I forgot to post this earlier in the month but… Well down to
@lornlornlors
for the single most amazing moment of any fringe show I saw this year. Impossible to explain, but if you saw the show you’ll know what I mean. For the rest of you, i’m sure you’ll see loads of her soon!
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📣 IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I have no idea what I am doing 😍 So happy to share this news with you, been keeping it secret for a while! 🎉
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That was SO NICE
@sohotheatre
thanks for coming everyone, can't believe I sold out! You were all so lovely 💕💕
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Okay I'm actually ON Woman's Hour this morning? A proper flip turn moment from producing those years ago, to now being a guest. !!!!!!! Incredible times what is happening to my life !!!!!
🎭 Comedian Lorna Rose Treen (
@lornlornlors
) is at the
#EdFringe
for the first time with her one-woman show, Skin Pigeon.
🎤 But what does it take to get a show to the Fringe? Lorna has been recording it all for us…
🎧 Listen here ⬇️
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"I like to earn my breakfast so I'll just have some green powders that I mis with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair and nails, and some protein."
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