evil sam
@limelacowboy
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Last Seen Profiles
#ofmds2spoilers
the way they’re all respectfully looking away except for Roach, who is enjoying a fantastic episode of reality television,
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#ofmds2spoilers
love every large leather-clad man in the entire bar going oooo hehe pardon moi mr. hands teehee while Izzy stares straight faced at them like this 😐
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it feels like the hair and makeup team saw us kicking our feet and teeheeing over Izzy’s duck tail hair tufts for a year and a half and were like “yeah make ‘em wetter and sluttier”
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#ofmds2spoilers
can you imagine being Lucius and men just keep giving you little hand whittled items like you’re a desirable bird
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you’re not going to understand the difference between s1 Izzy’s and s2 Izzy unless you’ve ever tried to move apartments with a cat
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idk what it is about Izzy that turns us all into every teenager’s nosey parents but i love it. he can’t even stand next to a guy without all of us collectively going omgggg who’s that is that your boyfriend
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i am once again posting my one (1) hozier notice from before I got sniped (i asked how tall he was)
"he was so real for this" and it's an unhinged Hozier tweet/Instagram story
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this is the dude people will try to convince u isn’t a bitchy jilted wife btw
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Don’t ask me how I got these photos but I gave Con O’Neill a sparkly pink cowboy hat and a birthday bitch sash
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festivals: cancelled
nba: cancelled
The killers: stream mr. brightside
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Also i told con O’Neill that he could keep the hat if he wanted to and he said He did so now he just has the hat
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Moon 2 trending because nasa said they were going to make an announcement about the moon is sending me
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there has to be a s3 because imagine a bit where Ed, Stede, Frenchie , and Zheng greet each other with “captain” “captain” “captain” “captain” while Zheng gets increasingly annoyed by the other three
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since Frenchie calls Stede stedey and Ed Eddie do we think he calls jim Jimmy or is that the kind of thing he said one time and never again after they threatened him in great detail for a minimum of 45 minutes
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yes s2 has its faults but nothing will ever beat the comedy of Izzy screaming and shouting at top volume in a hidden room on a very small ship and Ed still being like “that ghostly hoarse wailing could be anybody but I’d recognize that rotting flesh smell anywhere”
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how i imagine Con O’Neill scrolls through fan art of himself getting railed on instagram
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my uncle got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close
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probably one of the funniest things about Izzy is that we all have the most mundane headcannons for him ever i could get on here and say “Izzy Hands irons his slacks every Sunday night” and you’d all be like well fucking yeah it’s common sense
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Con: people always think that I’m big
Me, looking down at him: uh huh
Con: I’m just a small guy. [flexing] with big guns. and great boobs. but I’m just a tiny guy.
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“I love Izzy” “I hate Izzy” “im Izzy neutral” okay well i imprinted on him like an abandoned duck
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their dynamic is so crucial to me like who would win in a fight. Frenchie’s Commitment to every bit or Archie’s ability to shrug her shoulders and go “okay!” to everything
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Frenchie’s effortless ability to lie to and scam everyone on earth EXCEPT for Edward Teach is so special to me
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Con O’Neill discussing his “great boobage”
Con: people always think that I’m big
Me, looking down at him: uh huh
Con: I’m just a small guy. [flexing] with big guns. and great boobs. but I’m just a tiny guy.
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my mom attempting to describe a man to me: he looks like….. you know. your little pirate boyfriend.
me: ????? what?
my mom: the short guy. with the nuclear codes.
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Strike over Con O’Neill GET your ass on instagram live NOW. call a millennial if you have to
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genuinely one of the funniest ofmd scenes imo is when Izzy’s having his hot girl We’ve Been Almost A Fortnight Aboard The Revenge breakdown and everyone is giggling together and they smash cut to Izzy choking back tears behind them in a blurry zoom like he’s Dwight on the office
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you guys . you guys don’t think Izzy’s hand making little gifts for all the crew as a thank u do you. that would be too wild right. right.
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im so . besotted with that tidbit of Con 0’Neill being a horrendous on set driver and fully clipping a wall with a van full of people while casually whistling. he’s so real. he’s the people’s princess.
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I will be thinking about Blackbeard’s first mate Union all day. Frenchie is trying to negotiate for a higher salary. Izzy was unaware he was supposed to be getting a salary
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#ofmds2spoilers
"its a pirate show and pirates die" its a comedy show for queer escapism girl
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Con describing the term meow meow to me yesterday as an “important phrase for OUR community” does make more sense now that he’s come out lmao
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the supercon website is glitching right now so every link says Con O’Neill
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pt 2
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FRENCHIE FRIDAY. EVERYONE GET UP. SING A SONG HAVE A DRINK CELEBRATE CALYPSO’S BIRTHDAY.
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idk ask him
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the thing about Archie and Frenchie is that they’re similar guys but they’re in different fonts. Frenchie is taking someone to get ikea meatballs on a first date and Archie is taking someone to get Costco hotdogs
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can’t believe people think Izzy’s straight as if he didn’t fully walk up to Lucius and go oooooohoho aren’t yoooouuuu a proper little seductress
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I was so right
I’ve never seen a guy who looks more like baby animals imprint on him and follow him home while he shouts at them to get lost
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love this photo of Izzy looking absolutely dumbfounded. bro looks like he got defeated by the power of friendship in a cartoon .
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I hope y’all know that whenever I talk about captain Frenchie its implied that Izzy’s fine and just standing off to the side watching his bizarre captaining techniques like this
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also once again saying i think Nathan f0ad should interview j0el fry. ceo of asking bizarre questions vs ceo of giving bizarre answers
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you put Frenchie and Archie in a room together and they’re starting a cult within 45 seconds tops
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do you guys think alphas would be annoyed if they knew we called it the omega verse
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everyone who has written any variation of a fic where Izzy learns to knit/crochet and just makes a really long fucking scarf because no one told him when to stop. you’re doing amazing
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Nathan and Con have the funniest relationship ever to me because that’s like REAL representation for every young adult whose work bestie is a chill 50+ year old woman that knows how to gossip
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Izzy packing his little rucksack on the revenge is so funny because he’s got like three bags and he was on that ship for less than a day he was straight up just stealing all their shit
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hey sorry for leaving you so many dead mice on your porch. my love language is acts of service
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Izzy’s search history:
how to get blood out of clothes
how to get blood out of clothes
how to get blood out of clothes
Email
how to get blood out of clothes
what is reddit
sword
is it homophobic if you hate a gay person because they’re annoying
how to get blood out of clothes
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loving this image of me being bamboozled by the old man’s photo taking abilities
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I’m not tagging this as a spoiler because this is nothing if you watch the show like a normal human being but god congratulations to all the Frenchie Walking Around With A Bowl Of Cereal enthusiasts
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I’m bored….if you were visited by 3 ghost for Christmas who would you want them to be? Lol
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Izzy: fuck off steak knife
every single one of us: so how’d you two meet
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Roach/Lucius is probably the funniest combo of guys to try and ghost hunt Izzy. they’re just screaming at everything while ghost Izzy stands next to them like this
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why are you, as a man, lurking in another man’s quarter and petting his sheer curtains
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getting caught up on the new 0fmd drama but halfway through i went “wait a minute i don’t care about any of this” and then went and got some paper and drew a little picture 🌷✨💖
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Izzy is sentimental 🥲 do we think he kept the unicorn note 🥲
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okay
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Being a passionate lover and great kisser has ruined my life
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let’s all calm down and recall some extremely important things t. Two of two extremely important thi there’s two of them
apologies to whoever i stole this photo from over a month ago but every time i see it in my camera roll i feel like i got hit in the skull by a boat oar
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in my heart captain Frenchie is whimsically threatening his hostages while first mate Izzy is standing behind him and making several silent throat cutting and stabbing gestures over his shoulder
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probably the funniest part of pirate show twt is that we all set aside our differences to collectively agree that Izzy’s the dog
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j0el fry is sort of picked up and carried around a lot in every comedy show he’s in so it’s my personal belief that Frenchie will be just kinda thrown over someone’s shoulder in s2. i do think it would be funniest for Jim to do this.
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watching Leslie’s tiktok remembering that post championing j0el fry as the next James Bond…… im on board now i get it like we’re well overdue for a bond who just leaves when there’s a dire situation
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i was actually invited on the Franklin Expedition a few months ago. so scary it could have been me
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apologies to whoever i stole this photo from over a month ago but every time i see it in my camera roll i feel like i got hit in the skull by a boat oar
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