Apologies for the chudlike bitmoji, darling. I haven't the faculties to get my visage sorted out

It must have felt so sick to be a gold rush guy and put on a brand new pair of big blue jeans

Listen kids, I know mom’s death messed you guys up, you’re hurting, I’m hurting, but our love of music in these here garage is the only thing that can keep this family together. Now, Kyler, get back on that organ and let’s run through Exxon Mobil Shareholder Mass Grave #3

Hey man, I noticed the great-bosomed mother-idol in your quarters. That's cool, that's cool, but word on the street is that the breast-heaving wonder-bellied matron-idol is, uh, how should I say it, — "cringe" — now. I would recommend swapping it out for the Fat Guy

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Jamming another Red Lobster gift card into my crustacean mech's ignition to redeem 500 more minutes of warfare

Groyperous ichor smears my family blade, I will have to dip it in the wokest stream of the motherland to wipe away its stench

Recovered audiotape records in perfect fidelity the dropsical splitch-splotch of a groyperphage's lardaceous advance across the laboratory floor

Morrowind was almost a shit game until they got a guy to come in and give them free sauce like bug taxi, mushroom airbnb, mesopotamian venice, bad guy that is saddam hussein and dracula at the same time

(Shooing a big fat groyper out of my yard) Git! Git! BFG: Hmmmffllllllbbbhhhhh. Flhhhhhhbbbbbpppppppp. Hhhhhummmmfflllllpbbbbbbbbuuuuulllllffffffp. Mmflhumphm. Me: Bad groyper! Out! Out!

100 Red and 100 Black ants were put in a jar and placed on a table. Nothing happened, they were at peace with each other. Then someone shook the jar and the ants started killing each other. They were made to believe that each other were the enemy...they were not...

Towering hologram scene from blade runner 2049 except instead of a cute girl its Rodney Dangerfield

Lascivious fleshpots and winebowl waving merchants will taunt you every night on your walk home from the grain depository. They will try and distract you from the grain tally. I'm here to tell you to concentrate on the the clay, the tablet, the stylus. Focus on the grain tally.

We need Woah Vicky in chainmail to assess the viability of a Joan of Arc casting

There’s absolutely nothing arresting about a desert monolith. I would ride directly past it and continue mentally tabulating the margins on my handcrafted rugs

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Most elven jazz snobs consider it unsurpassingly rude to get up for a snack in the middle of the blowing of a 82,321 year long saxophone note

My grandfather bought a house and sent 3 kids to college on a single salary in the 60s. That's because he was in the International Brotherhood of Tambourine Men. They took care of him after his right forearm crapped out

You dolt! D-do you have any idea who that was—The Princess of Wasia— oh, heavenly father, they'll have us SHOT, have you any idea what you've just

(KNOCK-KNOCK) Hello sir, Lt. Cocoa Snuffmuff speaking, US Army Blankie Corps— sir, are you adequately warmed? Do you require a snuggledrop?

The Dauphin is exceedingly pleased with his brand new grinch-fur blankie— one is expected in every château playroom of note before the winter is here

Important lesson from a great deal of 19th century literature and also Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith— Never let a sly older gent take you to the opera

Ripping the bodice off fine shyt in my highly cyberpunk domicile and it floats across the room onto the projector where my 9-foot Larry David hologram baldly flickers into life