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Where do I buy a car that sounds like this

We need to get the Lindy Man in a gangster movie occupying the role of consigliere. He won't be playing a character he is the real life Lindy Man and he is giving lindy advice to the mafia

Listen. The hobbit movies, dubious cinematic merit. But I will tell you they make tremendous background viewing. If you look up from your tasks at any given time there are always some little guys up to some bull shit

Really love the voice he does on this one. He sounds like an exhausted gondola operator

MEIN FUHRER! ADVENTURE TIME IST FALLEN!

Many have asked, “But donald, you’re a dog, how can you do so-and-so?” The answer is that I am an ancient dog, from ancient times.

There's something about walking by the side of the road at the highest point of noon that makes you feel like a man from antiquity, like an ancient man from ancient times

Doing this one next then trying out “Gatorade” and other assorted sports beverages

What foods and/or beverages would you all like me to review?

My visualization of the beverage known as “Red Bull”

The goop that they drill out of the whales brain in avatar 2 probably tastes good as hell. Like drinking full caffeine Four Loko in heaven

My proposition for a new service branch of the US army

My mother weighs in on the literacy crisis

There was something magical about the world war one battlefield because there is no way it should have worked conceptually but it turns out jumping rooftop to rooftop on a horse and shooting the goggles off a guy in a biplane with a bolt action is probably as good as games get

Central Park should, like any good open-world map, reward the most ridiculous of excursions into the most forbidden of places with the most priceless of artifacts. You should have at least 5,000 miles of cave system to explore underneath the reservoir with municipal submarines

Zero print in sweats no wonder Nancy was the #PARKINGLOTDEMON

Boys, listen. Listen to me. We live on the precipice of a tumescent barbarity. A dark shadow falls over the drive thru, the falconer has his flip flops on, Moloch's chungal body slouches toward The West. And the only way we can save it is if we put the hobbit costume on

3 cans and I'm here and I'm running at the sun like it owes me money

Can't really get inside the head of a guy that wants to get a drunk tattoo. When I get drunk I want to go outside and run in a straight line forever