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Kathryn VanArendonk Profile
Kathryn VanArendonk

@kvanaren

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28,350
Following
861
Media
1,731
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29,066

critic @vulture , child wrangler. kathryn.vanarendonk @ - i'm hanging out more at bsky lately

New Jersey
Joined February 2009
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
@BenReiss1 hi! there IS a definition of bottle episode, and it is based entirely on HOW an episode is produced and not at all to do with what kind of story that episode tells. bottle episodes take place on a limited set, often only one set, with few cast members, because they are CHEAP
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
shoutout to the grandma in this target at 9am walking a kid down the toy aisle and whispering “okay show me the thing you want that you’re not supposed to have”
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
me: the netflix algorithm doesn't know me at all netflix: here is a japanese reality show about very very young children being sent on ambitious solo errands
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
absolutely zero tolerance or patience for "breastfeeding is free" arguments sparked by the baby formula shortage. breastfeeding is only free if a mother's physical comfort, career, mental health, and often the physical health of both mother and baby, have no value.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
[everyone is eating dinner] 4yo: when I eat french fries warmth floods my body and contentment enters my heart [everyone stops chewing] 7yo: …WHAT
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
don’t cry that peony season is over; be happy that snapdragon season is here
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
11 months
it really feels like the WGA strike is happening in a different world from most tv viewers, but i *promise* you, in a few short months you're going to be like, WAIT! where is season 2 of Severance??? where is Andor? where is the new season of Abbott Elementary?
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
this is my royal wedding
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
describing trans rights as "a very online conversation" is so wildly off base and diminishing and disconnected from the political and lived reality for trans people, i am honestly taken aback
@Variety
Variety
1 year
"I don’t think this is the forum," Bloys said when asked about Rowling's views. "That’s a very online conversation, very nuanced and complicated and not something we’re going to get into." ⁠
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
this is the only big celeb interview i've ever seen where the promos arguably undersold it
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
11 months
I think matsson did actually hate the cartoon
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
here is a two year old who was sent to the grocery store with a flag that says "STOP" to help him cross the street
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 months
we've landed on kategate even though waterkate is so much funnier; the internet cannot be trusted to do anything i stg
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
my (80) ex-wives (72, 63)and side hustles (54, 38) are unionizing
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
5 months
andre braugher had a way of speaking like he loved every weird little clause of a sentence, like somehow his voice and his gravity could hold onto more separate thoughts and rhythms and linguistic turns than most people could ever hold at once. it was such a pleasure to hear him.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
hi it's me, your mom if you ever end up in that situation just put the taxi on your credit card, your father and i will cover it
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
the scene where matthew macfayden says "siobhan... do you remember when we first ... knew each other" the very first moment i have ever been able to square macfayden's tom wambgams with his mr darcy
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
11 months
me: millennials have not become the central hub of culture yet. the long tail of the boomer shadow coupled with decades of economic strife and political chasms have changed the logic of generational transitions internet: cast of succession singing weezer me: nm i'm wrong
@bestofsnook
best of sarah snook
11 months
🎥 | The Succession cast singing together 🥹
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
this is ... so many doors?
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
this show is called Old Enough; apparently it is a very successful and long-running series, but netflix has a single season and each episode is about 10 minutes long
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
hi my name is Nate's Girlfriend On Ted Lasso. i work at a restaurant. before i was mean and now, for reasons completely unspecified, i am now nice i guess. i have also, once, been heard peeing. these facts are the sum total of my life.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
pentiment, a video game where you play a 16thC illustrated manuscripts artisan in a small german town who wanders around solving murders and debating about martin luther, is my whole personality now
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
my sister-in-law died a few days ago. she had cancer; she was 33. she was very private - she would *not* appreciate a public post with a name or picture, and even this would make her roll her eyes at me. so I will just tell you she was brilliant, and perceptive, and slyly funny.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
i love tv! i love to look at it and see it and just look at that screen and see all the things on that screen hoo boy it's so fun
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
here are the circumstances under which breastfeeding is free: 1. your body happens to make enough milk and your baby happens to latch well 2. you never leave your baby’s presence for more than an hour or so, for a year 3. all the food you have to eat costs nothing
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
succession has two main themes: - complex inner working of family and close relationships rendered transactional and emotionally devastating by mapping all value onto economic power - all numbers are fake
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
breastfeeding is great and lovely for the people whose bodies and lives and livelihoods happen to luck into making it feasible. i was one of them! it was great! it was still often close to impossible!
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
show me the title card netflix gives you when you look up Old Enough!, the japanese reality show about tiny kids going on solo errands
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
4. all your clothing is already fully accessible for a breastfeeding infant and you don’t mind constantly leaking milk into it 5. you happen to have no medical complications and especially not mastitis
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
I am just obsessed with that little speech tom gives about money. there's so much that's brilliant about it, including macfadyen's performance of course, but for me it's because the whole thing begins as a conditional
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
6. you never have to see a lactation consultant to help you deal with latching, nursing strikes, pain 7. you never have to buy or use any lotions or medications to manage the physical wear and tear on your breasts 8. you never get thrush
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
i truly, truly hate the move to do cheeky direct-to-camera address for 19th century adaptations, especially for ones like persuasion that are supposed to be devastatingly sad. the problem is that direct address has a totally different context now.
@netflix
Netflix
2 years
There’s always the one that got away. Dakota Johnson, Cosmo Jarvis and Henry Golding star in Persuasion. July 15.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
7yo, breathlessly recounting a chapter from a classic Nancy Drew book: and THEN she called her friend FROM A PHONE IN A BOOTH
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
8. you also better hope to god that any medication you require is compatible with feeding a baby
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
ALSO i used gendered language here but "breastfeeding is free" as a phrase itself assumes all kinds of restrictive, dangerous, exclusionary ideas about who feeds babies, what their bodies should be like, who gets to be a parent, and how they should do it.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
we are all olivia colman leaning forward to see the pets
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Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
me: so for vulture fest I’m doing a panel for All Creatures Great and Small, and then I’m doing a conversation with Lee Pace my dad: oh my GOD my mom: wait who is Lee Pace? my dad: he’s like … he is a very, very beautiful man
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
we should get triples of bob odenkirk. triples is safe. triples is best.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
my favorite definition of the soap opera as genre is that it's never about what happens, it's about how information moves between characters - who knows, who doesn't, how they react, who tells who, how things are revealed. this is a thing succession understands SO well
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
8 months
@SamuelAAdams @emilynussbaum alas, the architectural digest tour means it's possible to know that ashton and mila are outside by their pool
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
8yo and her friends do not have phones and they all have variable access to tablets, but they all have locked down school-issued chromebooks and have begun using google slides as a messaging app
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
tfw the mansion you've put on airbnb definitely, definitely is not haunted
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
the new bo burnham special:
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
I have got to cut off her storytime podcast supply
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
jeremy strong once bought the prize turkey from the store window and gave it to my family and as a result my son tiny tim did not die
@RachelShukert
Rachel Shukert
2 years
Jeremy Strong is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my whole life.
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
this is about the incredible feat of making inevitability into a shock, and what exactly about this being episode three feels so destabilizing
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
shoutout to 8 and 5: really good parenting ages, where everyone is free of naps and diapers and capable of understanding concepts like “tomorrow” and “my hands are full,” and sometimes it feels like you can take an actually full breath
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
lion king on broadway review: 1pm sunday matinee full of kids absolutely losing their minds, puppets fucking rule, solid performances, one kid in the theater got so scared during Be Prepared that they were still audibly crying in the next scene, A+ would lion king again
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
it is 7am. i have deleted an email from raphael warnock. it is 7:43am. i have deleted an email from raphael warnock. it is 8:15am. i have deleted an email from raphael warnock. it is 8:54am. i have deleted an email from raphael warnock. it is 9:10am. i have deleted an email from
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Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
at about age 14 my mom started giving me a lot of speeches that were like “intuition is real. if something feels off just leave” and I, 14, thought this was RIDICULOUS. but she was trying to stop me from becoming portia!!!
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
I talked with the creator of The Baby-Sitters Club @RachelShukert about Netflix's decision to cancel the show
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
11 months
second seasons are so, so hard, and I just can’t say how impressive it is for s2 of the bear to be as good as it is
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 months
you can’t just “unblur” grainy terrible distance photos, I know every damn procedural includes the part where someone says enhance and then you can read a license plate but that’s not how any of this has ever worked
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
as i lovingly tucked my children into bed last night, my brain said "if jeremy strong is bojack, then mr peanutbutter is chris evans"
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
girls5eva has the feeling of a show that is going to become *massive* once it's on netflix, and that feels so so so depressing for peacock
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
tfw your son ended his oscars acceptance by explaining that you had sex with his father
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
if i were paramount plus i would simply order ONE HUNDRED more episodes of strange new worlds
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
found a concerning revolutionary pamphlet in our home
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
THE LAST OF US DID NOT MAKE A BOTTLE EPISODE I AM GOING TO BECOME THE JOKER
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 months
imagine how annoyed rose hanbury must be with kensington palace for managing this all so badly that her whole deal has gotten spread around everywhere
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
just a bunch of third graders opening up utilitarian black ibm laptops, firing up a website designed for brutally boring corporate presentations, changing their font color to neon green and typing HI!!!!!!
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
so many people i enjoy and respect on this list but also did ramy youssef.... solve the american work week????
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Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
once again, matthew macfayden
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Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
good morning to 4yo, whose first words today were: Frankenstein is a CRAFT! They put him together! He’s JUST A CRAFT.
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Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
am seeing a bunch of "this is trivial nonsense and why are we paying any attention to these people" responses to oprah/harry/meghan, which boggles my mind. - it's a story about people pushing against the racism deep within a beloved, revered, centuries-old institution
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Kathryn VanArendonk
4 years
is there no one else on CNN? john king has just been standing there doing a solo jazz performance with this election board for like 20 minutes
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Kathryn VanArendonk
4 years
wolf blitzer, one of the most recognizable faces of american news coverage, at 9pm on a generation-defining election looking over a map of the country: you see a lot of blue, but you see a lot of red as well
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
4 years
please enjoy this absolutely insane mailer my friend in Maine got
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
that ending was somehow the exact opposite of the moonlight ending
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
oh my god i didn't see this one i need a personal day
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Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
two hours from now the livestream will suddenly turn on and it'll just be vanessa lachey standing in a pool of blood, screaming
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
one final thought and then i am done on this topic: who among us truly believes aaron sorkin is not on twitter
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
another important day to remember that no one is making you tweet
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
no idea why i made this but here it is
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
I had a long and open conversation with Mike White about the #TheWhiteLotus finale, about his choice to give characters the ending they have, about the way the Hawaiian characters disappear, about honesty and art and money and the other
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
this weekend I achieved the pinnacle of “I think I’m just gonna buy this jumpsuit. maybe one day there’ll be a good time to wear it”
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
house of the dragon review: someone looked at Matt Smith and said, yeah, I think that long blonde targaryen wig is gonna look fine on him and that level of detachment from reality is almost inspiring
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
one of the many things that really hit me in this conversation is that line about how we expect girls to go straight from Doc McStuffins to Euphoria. my own 8yo just started watching Baby-Sitters Club - she wasn’t really ready before - and loves it so much
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
11 months
it's been tough to get people to care about this now in the same way that it's tough to get someone to go to bed early because they're going to have to wake up early, but i promise you, the alarm clock will start buzzing
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
get a BRCA screening if you have a family history. hug your people. do what she enjoyed, which included organizing whatever that drawer is you’ve been avoiding, and absolutely crushing your loved ones at board games.
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Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
@poniewozik @sternbergh i mean apparently they never found the office so maybe the officer snickered and pointed them down the wrong hallwa-WHY DIDN'T THEY GET ARRESTED
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
congrats to Max, a streaming service name i will treat with exactly as much respect as i treat the alleged new name of the Tappan Zee Bridge
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
@amykaycannon well those two things aren't mutually exclusive but i plan to find out!
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
7 months
i'm so happy people can write tv again, i just really love tv you guys
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
i will not be the person who fact-checks all of persuasion, because props are the least of this movie's problems. but. green table grapes were not really a thing until the late 19th c and chocolate chip cookies were invented in the 1930s.
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Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
one of my very very very few Parent Hacks is if you hand your kids raw cut vegetables while they watch tv they are pretty likely to just mindlessly eat lots of vegetables
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
6 months
it's very sad that twitter is dying, because this is the kind of important organic discourse we're losing!
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
there should’ve been 200 episodes of the baby-sitters club
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Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
please enjoy ramy reacting to jason sudeikis
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
at this point when people who make tv compare it to cinema in order to claim that it's good, it's infuriating but it's also like, i'm sorry you don't love your own medium, maybe should talk to someone about that :(
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
abbott elementary :)
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
this is the kind of list that justifies lists as a format
@sepinwall
Alan Sepinwall
2 years
When Rolling Stone polled dozens of showrunners, actors, and critics for our 100 best shows ever list, we got a very unusual ballot from BoJack Horseman creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg. I had many, many questions, and he was gracious enough to answer:
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Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
truly it hadn’t even occurred to me that Netflix might respond like this, it’s such a bad bad bad bad decision
@verge
The Verge
3 years
Netflix suspends trans employee who tweeted about Dave Chappelle special
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
BLUEY HIVE LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
this is a piece about the feeling of tv shows disappearing, but it is also an attempt to will my desire for a tv version of criterion into existence
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@kvanaren
Kathryn VanArendonk
3 years
good morning! I wrote a personal, critical, long reported piece on Bluey, the single best kids show I have ever seen on what it feels like to be a kid and aspiring to be a better parent
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Kathryn VanArendonk
1 year
1. they're not bottle episodes 2. i understand no one likes "standalone episode" 3. we're gonna try calling them departure episodes, everybody get on board
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Kathryn VanArendonk
2 years
eventually i realized that jonathan bailey in bridgerton s2 is doing at least 40% christian bale in little women (1994), and i was like oooooooooh yeah okay, that's why this works
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Kathryn VanArendonk
4 years
jimmy kimmel: I wish I could kiss you! kerry washington: we don't want that, thank you
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