Emily Nussbaum Profile Banner
Emily Nussbaum Profile
Emily Nussbaum

@emilynussbaum

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Staff writer at The New Yorker. Author of “Cue The Sun!: The Invention of Reality TV,” out 6/25. Insta/Threads/Bluesky: emilynussbaum

Joined January 2008
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 months
I ATTEMPTED AN UNBOXING VIDEO!!
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
This is the Four Seasons Total Landscaping of tables.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
The more I think about it, the more impressed I am that Michelle Wolf did such a harsh act WITHOUT insulting any woman's looks. She aimed straight at the white female enforcers & never once suggested that anyone was a bimbo or a dog—like the man they work for surely would have.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Dr. Birx is going to leave a horrible legacy. It's one thing to be a cynical paid fixer. It's worse, in my eyes, to be the expert who props up the mad king. I get that it's an emergency & I understand the theoretical strategy she may think she's pursuing, but it's a moral horror.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Normalize liking your spouse
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
This really does remind me that the most dangerous period in an abusive marriage is when you leave.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
I’m currently on vacation in Canada, where college tuition runs <9K (in American $), everyone has health insurance & maternity leave lasts a year. Also, abortion is both legal & publicly funded
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Elon musk should be slang for the scent a person gives off when they’re sketchy/disappointing. “I was excited to meet his brother, but the guy had an unsettling elon musk.”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
I'm glad that AOC is being so direct about this. It's no joke: these guys egged on a movement that tried, quite literally, to murder her, Pelosi, Pence and so on. The idea of "moving on" from that is ridiculous. There was a noose hanging outside the capitol three weeks ago!
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
When Pence's wife is doing is disgusting. It's no different than if she took a job at a racially segregated school. And people should view it that way.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
I was just on TikTok and a guy there presented his theory that in The Piano Man, the narrator is working in a gay bar and doesn’t realize it. It completely holds up
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Time feels warped, so I think we should add a second Halloween to the year, maybe in March
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
I wish just one person standing there would yell out, “I can’t do this anymore! This guy is crazy, it’s obvious, it’s dangerous, it’s not funny.”
@ddiamond
Dan Diamond
4 years
Trump muses that he could’ve become a research scientist instead of president. TRUMP: I like this stuff. I really get it… every one of these doctors said, ‘how do you know so much about this?’ Maybe I have a natural ability.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Honestly, among the most damning and suspicious things is that he has no idiotic nickname for Putin.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
Flowers in the Attic.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Warren got this done.
@mj_lee
MJ Lee
4 years
Bloomberg campaign says they'll release three women from NDAs if that's what they want. Bloomberg also announces new policy: "for as long as I’m running the company, we won’t offer confidentiality agreements to resolve claims of sexual harassment or misconduct going forward."
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Anyone else having trouble absorbing all the terrible news and getting your work done and sleeping through the night and reading all the books and watching all the TV shows?
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Yeah, it's true, I lost my virginity to George Clooney. George Clooney Total Landscaping.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Call a lie a lie. Call a money launderer a money launderer. Call a racist statement a racist statement. That’s what language is FOR.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
Paul Rudd, what dark bargain have you cut with the Gods of Time.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
A positive Wordle development, via Reddit…
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
The monarchy is repulsive. This began as a dishy watch but it's gotten genuinely upsetting. Also, Oprah is such a good interviewer.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Trump is not "somber," he's not "acknowledging facts" or "deferring to experts." I doubt he even has a friend in a coma. His goal is strategic: to erase history (his week-ago Easter statement) & nudge the definition of success so he meets it.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Someone on FB just posted this all-female version of the Presidents, using that face-swap app.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 months
I’m making a playlist of songs in which the singer describes *another* song, but we don’t actually hear that song… and so far the only two entries are Killing Me Softly With His Song and The Monster Mash Please suggest other examples!
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Which 30 Rock fictional project do you think was the best one (i.e. highest quality/most entertaining), in a universe in which they’re all real? My bet is on The Rural Juror.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Weird to rewatch Seinfeld bc JS is a bad actor, Kramer isn’t all that funny & yet George and Elaine are the most hilarious, watchable actors/characters ever to appear on TV
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
This is what not impeaching the president leads to: The shrugging expectation that everyone is corrupt and even objecting to it is being a prig. It’s the central goal of The Grifter’s administration—numbness and kleptocracy.
@CNNSOTU
State of the Union
5 years
“There’s nothing wrong with taking information from Russians,” Rudy Giuliani tells @jaketapper . #CNNSOTU
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
1 year
I hope the Succession finale is a musical
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
I do say “oh God“ and “Jesus Christ“ more than usual.
@JohnJHarwood
John Harwood
6 years
Vice President Pence credits President Trump with increasing the religious faith of Americans
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
The reason that he keeps obsessing about “standing” and snapping “don’t talk to the President of the United States that way“ is that it’s sinking in that he’s not going to have that title for much longer & it is driving him craaaazy.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
This pic makes the Oscars feel worth it.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Hey in case everybody forgot, the President is quite clearly trying to destroy journalism. Maybe let’s not help him.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Jesus, Congress is soulless. "The most important thing is to just keep moving forward" is the ethical philosophy of a hit-and-run driver.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
I hate that everybody is offering up their most painful memories to help stop this and it’s not going to stop this.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Today one of my kids asked me what was going on with Netflix & I told them about how the company used to send DVDs in envelopes as though it was some ancient tale of YORE
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
Langston Hughes’ “Tired.”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Just a reminder that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he masturbated incessantly.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Teen girls in the 80s were required to have a season, a face shape, a 6-pack of shoulder pads, mousse, astringent, a scrunchie & a terrifying skin cream full of apricot shards
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Fingers crossed that my "Hope Hicks Sinks Ships" headline is coming truuuue.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
If pretty much all mass killers were women, I think we'd probably highlight that fact.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
I think they should keep moving Fearless Girl a quarter-inch closer to the bull every week to really drive that sculptor crazy.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Jaw dropping. That lowest IQ crack about asylum seekers returning to the authorities is a) racist b) factually wrong c) part of his *life-long* eugenics obsession & d) directly related to his central belief that anyone who follows rules (or pays taxes) is a dummy.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
The Nanny in reruns is a more powerful Jewish woman than Ivanka Trump.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
1 month
One underestimated aspect of Parks & Rec was how fully it nailed the media, from Perd Hapley to Joan Calamezzo & the Gotcha Dancers to Crazy Ira and the Douche to that hilarious NPR parody. Shauna Malwae-Tweep was the most legit journalist in that town & she's 100% unemployed now
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Wow. The idea that MW's joke "called out" Sander's eye makeup is madness. She PRAISED her eye makeup—she said it was a "perfect smokey eye"—she just pointed out that it was made of the ashes of burned lies. Which it is! Both.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Maybe stop using the word “meddling” for theft, fraud and international espionage.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
Does the CDC have any advice about pants.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
I am genuinely interested in the smart reporting on these fascist creeps who stormed the Capitol, but I was also looking forward to reading diner-profiles of black Georgia voters and activists who flipped the state. It kills me that this story knocked them out of the headlines.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Perfect parody of the NYT Nazi profile.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
SPIDERVERSE: gorgeous, funny, definitely see in the theater.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
They should do a split screen, with Trump on one side and an extremely weary Daniel Dale on the other side, with Red Bull and a laptop, fact-checking.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
I’m not normally all “but the children” but it makes me sick with rage that kids—especially black brown & immigrant kids—would hear the President call the countries their families came from “shitholes.”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
The wild thing about Portman's gesture was the fabulous brass of it: by inserting those words into the award intro (rather than a winner's speech), she guaranteed that the next five shots would be the nominee's faces.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
"Warren is bursting with what we might call charisma in male candidates: She has the folksy demeanor of Biden, the ferocious conviction of Sanders, the deep intelligence of fellow law professor Obama. But EW isn't a man & so those traits are framed as liabilities, not strengths."
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
I grew up in a house with a lot of books on the Holocaust, including a photo book with a picture of naked bodies in a mass grave. It was a useful thing to see, part of a larger message that you should tell the truth about what happened in the world, not make it easy or tidy.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Ya know Bannon also hit his ex-wife & no one gave a damn. This is a pattern with these guys, not an exception.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
One of my kids just suggested that the Queer Eye team should add a “Tax Guy.”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
It is wild that people treat as normal a President who—midway through public discussions of a pandemic!—obsesses over whether people praise him properly. He is clearly mentally ill with NPD & it's a central problem that it just gets ignored.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
I’m enjoying this new thing where Gen X doesn’t exist in any generational analysis. It’s like we’re a bunch of gloomy, curmudgeonly ghosts, which feels accurate.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Guys, I’m starting to think Trump might be trying to get election help from foreign governments, it’s just this vibe I’m picking up
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
So in some parts of the country, Republican crowds are chanting “count those votes“ and in other parts, “stop the count“??
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Jim Jordan apparently trying to demonstrate that someone can in fact talk loudly enough to be overheard on a cellphone without the speaker on.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
Racially charged. Racially tinged. Racism-flecked. Marbled with racism. Racism adjacent.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
I had no idea that was the plural for a group of Pence aides.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
Release your taxes.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
7 years
Numerous states are refusing to give information to the very distinguished VOTER FRAUD PANEL. What are they trying to hide?
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
“Stand by” was so chilling.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Just put on Steve Miller’s The Joker during a road trip and one of my kids said, “All rise for the Boomer National Anthem.”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
It is a major deal to finally have someone saying this stuff clearly and directly.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Sadly, my beloved father Bernie Nussbaum died yesterday of cardiac disease. He’d been sick, but it was still sudden. A rare combination of a total mensch & a legal powerhouse, he had a sharp mind, a deep soul & a loving heart. This is a pic of him when we were all much younger.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Trump refused to begin testing early, because he thought higher numbers would hurt his re-election prospects. This isn't an ambiguous situation. This is why we're here.
@nprfreshair
Fresh Air
4 years
@ddiamond A previous tweet of this quote did not make it adequately clear that it is Trump who did not push for adequate testing, not Secretary of Health and Human Services Azar. Here is the whole quote for context. @ddiamond
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
Whoa I just got new glasses and it is AMAZING. Among other things, I can now see clearly enough to realize that the (awful) #metoo icon is three hands raised, not a tiny vagina, which is what I'd always seen in the past.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
The new slang for vagina is "Southern White House." Pass it on.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
8 years
Hot damn. I won a goddamn Pulitzer. Thank you to this wonderful magazine for letting me mouth off & think out loud.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
The fact that Beto came so close still feels like a big deal.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
HUGE props to everyone who told their story in that piece on Louis CK. It takes big guts to tell the truth about such a powerful guy. I'm glad that in the wake of the Weinstein expose, people are listening.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
You know, the Trump University scam *alone* should have been enough to defeat him. Kills me that people didn’t give a damn about that con.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
The really notable thing was how panicked Mike Lee seemed about doing *anything* that seemed less than utterly submissive to Trump.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 months
The Emmy categories should be Funny Drama, Sad Comedy, Legit Hilarious, Pioneering Weirdos, Only Okay But We Like The People Involved, Cast So Sexy That We Want To See Their Speeches and Comfort Food
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
10 months
What I loved about Barbie was the way the Ken arc wasn’t about men, it was about patriarchy, flipped: when your only route to feeling real is thru the loving gaze of the dominant gender, you’re left hollow & needy & fighting the other Kens/Barbies. Like in Mad Men, only pink!
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
During Passover, it is traditional to remove all the Chaffetz from the House.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
The Sharpie thing is weirdly upsetting, bc it is so trivial, petty & transparent—which makes it hard to take seriously. Just like the Sean Spicer crowd-size garbage that opened this hideous era.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
She did the same technique w Trump. She listed the easy shots—he's nuts, he cheats, he colludes—then consciously picked the one thing that bugs him: revealing that he's NOT RICH. I said this last night, but it's the one subject he barred at the Friar's Roast. So she went for it.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
21 days
Hmm okay, so now I’m starting to LIKE a bunch of the songs on this massive, messy, feverish Taylor Swift album… Also, she’s very funny. “We’ll tell no one except all of our friends”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
2 years
Into The Spiderverse is the one installment that actually SHOULD have been nominated for an Oscar
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
I told my kids about Jews controlling the weather and they are PSYCHED.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
This would all be so easily resolved if DT said "I'm sorry that phone conversation caused her pain. These are hard times & I wish her well."
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Clive and I are drunk on scotch and he wants to create a company that will “pay people not to podcast.”
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
1 year
The best part of the finale was when Shiv and Roman were doing imitations of how Kendell would react if they murdered him
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
10 months
It’s gross to post your ex’s private texts unless you have a really solid reason to do so—& this holds true even if your ex was a thin-skinned, manipulative weasel. That used to be a given, but it clearly isn’t anymore
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Killing me softly.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
7 years
Last night a group was talking about Farrow's expose & someone pointed out the obvious: if Rose McGowan had told the story of the Mossad spies earlier, everyone would have simply assumed she was nuts.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
6 years
A Black Mirror in which everyone’s first drafts, discarded emails and draft tweets post all at once.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
3 years
Buffy is my formative TV show, a show that meant & means a lot to me. It's intensely depressing to hear how Whedon treated his cast, behind the scenes—and I'm grateful to Charisma Carpenter for speaking out about it.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
5 years
I like the way that Kamala Harris is able to come across as coolly amused *and* righteously disgusted at the same time. Seems like the correct stance for 2020.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
Experimenting with the fact that everywhere you walk in Prospect Park right now, if you yell whooo!, the person yells whooo back.
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@emilynussbaum
Emily Nussbaum
4 years
One of the smartest aspects of Michelle O’s speech is that instead of denouncing him as evil, she correctly nailed him as weak & incompetent, ill-prepared for the job, an insecure fake. “He’s in over his head.” Much more damning—& accurate, especially on COVID.
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