Kalie Shorr
@kalieshorr
Followers
16,509
Following
999
Media
1,882
Statuses
35,626
chronic ex girlfriend 🫶🏻 she/her contact: info.kalieshorr @gmail .com
Los Angeles, CA
Joined November 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
listening to other people’s opinions on my career has gotten me absolutely nowhere so I will officially be returning to doing whatever the actual fuck I want
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I’m so proud of Taylor Swift. Not for any particular reason, just her existence in general
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@mattxiv
@yashar
Back in middle school when the phonebook was a thing, my friends dad had to make their number unlisted because he had the same name as the local weatherman and people got REAL mad when he got it wrong and would call leaving threatening voicemails. So maybe he’s used to it 😂
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Taylor Swift got me dissecting metaphors and imagery like I haven't done since my book report on To Kill A Mockingbird in 9th grade
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Do y’all remember that brief period of time when everyone called Taylor Swift T-swizzle? Those were simpler times
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Speaking for the songwriting community, all of this discourse is so sad and makes us feel misunderstood. The point of art is that it captures fleeting moments in everlasting form. How many times did Da Vinci meet Mona Lisa?
Is it normal or healthy to have an album be about a brief relationship from several years ago
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@emmacrochets
these are the same girls who say “I don’t thrift cause it takes away from people who need it” like girlies the charity shops are to RAISE MONEY FOR CHARITY & there’s literally never going to be a shortage of clothes on this planet! Thrift stores send BACK to landfills bc of this
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Miss Americana has me ready to throw hands at anyone who is ever mean to Taylor Swift ever again. I don’t care that I don’t know how to fight. They’re cyber bullies, they probably don’t either
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Honestly the spookiest part of spooky szn is you don’t know if you really like a guy or if he’s just wearing a really nice sweater
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Today I lost my sister to a really long battle with addiction. It really is a disease and it is so difficult to overcome. She just couldn’t beat it. Please hug your loved ones and be patient with people who are fighting their demons. Anger never helps but love does.
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I swear that any time I have ever tweeted about Taylor Swift, it has gone viral. This is now officially an experiment.
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I was once drunk and immature enough to jump 30 feet off a pier into the ocean, but I’ve never been drunk enough to say a racial slur. Because alcohol and immaturity doesn’t make you do that. Racism does. Fuck this shit
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me after watching Cardi and Megan Thee Stallion sing WAP at the Grammys:
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let’s play a game- is that girl on his Instagram his:
A) girlfriend
B) cousin
C) a friend who poses weirdly close?
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I just met
@amandashires
and
@jasonisbell
’s 4 year old daughter. She was handing out candy to everyone backstage. Our exchange is as follows:
Me: this is a really good way to make friends
Her: it’s a really good way to get attention
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getting “2020, man” tattooed right above “Carrie Underwood should not have to share a damn thing with anyone ever” on my lower back
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Taylor Swift hasn’t been this robbed of a VMA since Kanye LITERALLY took it out of her hands. thank you for coming to my ted talk
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I've never been in the fight but just know if one day I am, it's because someone used the snake emoji to describe Taylor Swift.
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I was Taylor Swift’s stand-in for a music video and didn’t know it was her’s til I got there. I walked around the corner and she goes “you must be Kalie! You have such beautiful eyes!” like girly must’ve looked at the cast list before???? I had to go to the bathroom and cry
What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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Despite being quarantined (except for a handful of trips for groceries) for three weeks, I managed to contract COVID 19. I'm feeling significantly better, but it's proof how dangerous and contagious this is. It's endlessly frustrating to see people not taking this seriously.
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“why did you sign to an NYC label if you’re a cOuNtRy ArTiSt” well prob cause I’ve talked with every major label in Nashville minimum of 3x and they’ve all told me I “wasn’t ready” so I found someone who thought I was 🤷🏼 idk might drop a song about it
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TAYLOR SWIFT. THATS IT. THATS THE TWEET. THATS THE SHOW. goodnight
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me: so basically daylight saving time is just a ploy by big pharma to give everyone seasonal depression and I mean honestly isn’t time just a human construct anyway
guy at bar: I think I see my friends
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we 🥺 are getting 🥺🥺🥺 unreleased Fearless era songs 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 someone hold me
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On a scale of 1 to Katy Perry sending Taylor Swift an *actual* olive branch how extra are you? (I’m just mad I didn’t think of this first @ girls who called me period head in high school)
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Biggest shocker of 2017: the
@Harry_Styles
album is the most badass and unapologetic rock & roll record of the year
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are you Fearless sad or are you Fearless Platinum Edition sad because there is a BIG difference let me tell ya
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I’m bawling my eyes out. A girl from Nashville with a guitar and story can do anything- no matter what country radio says. Congratulations
@KaceyMusgraves
💜
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What is more flawless: Alicia Keys skin or Dan + Shay’s pitch
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@lingerie_addict
This will sound silly but Marie Kondo helped me with my ED recovery when I got rid of all my “skinny clothes” that I wanted to fit back into. Every time I looked at them I felt like shit. They brought zero joy. Now all my clothes fit and I feel so much better w/o those reminders
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Instagram is down, I just had my second flat tire in 24 hours, my ex boyfriend keeps texting me, and we are only halfway through Mercury being in retrograde. Jesus take the wheel
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yes. I compared All Too Well to the Mona Lisa. And I will STAND BY IT
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Last night a girl complimented me on my jacket and a guy was trying to hit on her so he said he’d Venmo me $100 for it and I’ve never ripped off a $15 jacket faster in my life lmao god provides ✨
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I am so bored of talking about this shit. How are we ever supposed to get our songs on the radio when mathematically there are fewer slots per hour? Why are y’all so afraid of vaginas? You came out of one
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MOM I’M MAKING MY OPRY DEBUT! So in love with life. So in love with country music. Can’t wait to stand in the circle for the first time on 3/31!
@opry
(ps I cried typing this too okay bye)
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My optometrist yesterday started talking to me about Taylor Swift and went on a full ass rant about how she doesn’t deserve $14 million a show like *insert list of 4 male artists* do and y’all I was PISSED. I would’ve thrown hands if he didn’t have machinery aimed at my eye
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Remember, if you're losing followers and friends over this, it says much more about them than you. It's happening to me as we speak. This is a hill worth dying on.
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every girl has an ex-boyfriend who was never her boyfriend. sorry I don’t make the rules
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No man is 5’11”. If you were, you’d round up to 6 feet. You are 5’9” and a half.
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I said earlier “if Kacey Musgraves doesn’t win album of the year I quit” so I’m proud to announce I’ll be staying in music LOL
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Taylor Swift's new single is actually about me, right now, sitting here refreshing iTunes because I'm ABOUT TO EXPLODE
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@nowthisnews
If everyone actively chose to be there, I think it’s hilarious and they probably hadn’t done something like that in decades. This feels like another layer of infantilization of the elderly 🙄
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ARE WE FINALLY GETTING AN INDIE SINGER/SONGWRITER ALBUM FROM TAYLOR OH MY GOD
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I know some of you think you’re above the panic/quarantining/social distancing and that’s great, love that for you, but if this doesn’t get contained, myself and a shit ton of other people will continue to be out of a job. I don’t know why that isn’t adding up for y’all.
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I’m so supportive of Taylor being in her athlete era because obviously she’s smarter than any man she’s ever dated but a least an athlete will know that
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dudes on here are like “ugh Taylor you dated for three months, get over it” like they arent still sending fire emojis on Instagram to a girl they cheated on freshman year of high school 🙄
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@seaisabell
@rachyymarshall
Omg all I remember was how cute she was 😍 PSA: anyone can do this to me anywhere at all times ever lolllll
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just got hit on by a stranger... he said “if corona virus doesn’t take you out, can I?” I’m scREAMING
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Seems we have a SWIFTuation happening here on the interwebs so if you need me I'll be deciphering clues for the next 48 hours bye
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I was today years old when I found out Avril Lavigne wrote Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
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10 hours until I get angry texts from two of my exes and also 10 hours until my album comes out!!!
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Okay I do understand the necessity of hunting but WHY would you put any sort of dead ANYTHING in your dating profile? Like damn, girls are just trying to see if you’re chill or not and BAM a cute lil deer with a mortal head wound... 😭 I can’t even
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rt if you
really
really
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really
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really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
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really
really
really
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really
really
wanna zigazig ah
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@Alex_Cameron
They used screenshots and the *entire* video (not through an Instagram widget so I didn’t get the views) I shot myself of a song dedicated to my sister after she passed. So shitty. Any idea what I should charge them if I pursue it?
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wow I miss when hand sanitizer was pink and smelled like watermelon and also when I had a job
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After much internal debate over the past few weeks in an attempt to look past the haze that is nostalgia, my twelve personalities and I have come to the conclusion that Lover is Taylor Swift’s best album to date. We will be taking no further questions at this time.
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I’m getting major first record Taylor Swift vibes from September and I’m emotioNAL DONT TOUCH ME
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10 days until I start recording my debut album. I’m losing my mind.
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Several media outlets called me an "artist to watch in 2020", but they didn't specify what they were watching *for*. Could be success, could be new music, could be a mental breakdown. Context is important
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I once wore glasses to a bar and had a 50 year old man offer to be my sugar daddy because he refused to believe I wasn't
@KatTimpf
. I went with it and said "Fox pays me more than you could"... but I did take a picture with him and his friends to be nice.
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Can you imagine being one of those people who comment on everything an artist does saying “that’s not country”? Where do you get all your free time? Can I borrow some? Do you have hobbies? Is that your hobby? Please explain
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The Chicks and Eric Church make me proud to be part of country music. Make the good real loud. And make the bad leave town with their tail between their legs.
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Friendly reminder that if he’s not texting you back he ain’t shit and one day you’ll find someone whose heart lights up when they see your name on their phone. Remember that. Wait for that.
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Update: 12 hours since I first listened to the new
@ddlovato
album. This is my personality now, and I plan on making it everyone’s problem.
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It’s okay if you don’t have a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day because that means you also don’t have a boyfriend on Super Bowl Sunday and then you don’t have to watch it
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I just took a DNA test turns out I’m 100% going to say it’s fine when it’s absolutely not fine
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the Dixie Chicks putting out a new song is the only thing that could turn my day around. Nashville deserves this damn it
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I’m so single that the only person I drunk text is twitter
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I wonder if the people who are pissed about modern black music (rap, trap beats, etc) influencing country music trends know that the banjo came from Africa
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So you’re telling me
@ShaniaTwain
,
@leannrimes
AND
@CassadeePope
were all born today and it hasn’t been declared a national holiday yet? Unbelievable
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I swear to God, whenever someone comes after me for swearing on the Internet, I’ll go to their profile and there’s ALWAYS something racist/homophobic/sexist on it. You know what’s worse than saying asshole? Being one
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So impressed by everything
@nickjonas
is putting out right now. True artistry, at it's finest.
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fuck yeah sis
As a Tennessean, it makes me sick that there are monuments standing in our state that celebrate racist historical figures who did evil things. Edward Carmack and Nathan Bedford Forrest were DESPICABLE figures in our state history and should be treated as such.
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You see “Tik Tok” and think the app, I see it and think of Kesha Rose Sebert’s 2009 chart topping smash. We are not the same
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Q: who gets a standing ovation on their first song opening for
@JasonIsbell
at the Ryman?
A:
@MickeyGuyton
Q: who gets THREE MORE after?
A: Mickey freaking Guyton!!!!!
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@wavyemma
Glossier You. It’s their only fragrance & it’s so light and airy but with a scent that lasts. Smells a little different on everyone. Similar vibe to Bubble Bath by Margiela but with woodsy undertones (as well as pink pepper and amber)
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I hate when I send a tipsy “hi what are u doing :))))” text to a boy and they don’t respond until the next day like “omg sorry I was sleeping what did you need” like bitch nothing I was a different person yesterday I have sobered up and GROWN
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Can’t wait til the day when no one asks me what it’s like to be a female musician and instead, they just ask what it’s like to be a musician
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The devil works hard but
@KeithUrban
works harder (to support women in country when 80% of the other male acts are too scared to/don’t care)
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Hey nashville, have you noticed how many women have left country music? Even some of the most successful ones? Is that enough for you to change?
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Had a guy tell me today that he doesn’t want to hear women complain about unfair treatment because we get free drinks and men don’t. I’m so tired of that argument. I’d rather walk into a boardroom and get what I want than a bar.
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Okay I’m sorry but making a new girl best friend is so much better than a new boyfriend because you can skip right to the sweatpants/pizza/Netflix stage of the relationship and double text them as much as you want
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to quote the great philosopher Shania Twain, “let’s go girls”.
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nobody:
me, wine drunk, standing on a table: we as a SOCIETY need to collectively start acknowledging that Carly Rae Jepsen has never stopped serving bops since the ground breaking anthem Call Me Maybe (2011). She deserves our respect because she is an ICON and we have failed her
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