Smart lights (which is to say, the ability to quickly turn on all the lights in the house) is more useful than a baseball bat. Your phone next to your bed is more useful than a bat. Turn on the lights, gather your kids, lock the door, and call the cops. That’s your SOP.

I play baseball and softball. Between my son and I, we have 7 or 8 bats in the house. The only one that *might* be useful in a home invasion is the kid’s old t-ball bat, but I don’t even keep that in my bedroom. This performative shit is so silly.

Every ball club must have a “asshole steals foul ball from kid” response plan ready to go at a moment’s notice.

When you say “Pierre Poilievre comeback”, what’s he coming back to? Another massive lead followed by another narrow loss?.

Maybe. Then what? A couple of years of grumbling followed by another Liberal minority win. Or Carney manages to compliment Trump enough times to get some kind of tariff deal and that resets the clock.

Practically speaking, a softball bat is a terrible home defence tool. You're more likely to hit a doorframe than an intruder.

One of the details in this post must be a typo. Either that, or Gabriel has got some Benjamin Button shit going on.

Department of Defence, Department of War…Gold jacket, Green jacket, who gives a shit?

Yawn. Call me when they get serious and change the name to Department of Death.

Ford is the clearest beneficiary of this low trust, low expectation moment. His staunchest supporters hate government and want him to trash it, while the left is so cynical the only emotion they can still feel is disappointment (and they wanna feel!) . Win or lose, he wins!.

I hate to break it to ya, but this is what a generation raised on memes and short-form video thinks is funny.

RT @souljagoyteller: Probably a bad idea to have Chelsea Clinton run for elected office as a Dem right now. Just saying .

My gut says FIFA is little more than a timely excuse. The Indy didn’t tell the City of Toronto anything. The City found out the series was moving to Markham with the rest of us when the news broke.

I love that neither Doug Ford nor anyone in his government seems to have given the slightest thought to where public servants would work if they were called back to full in-person. Classic Doug. Such boneheaded reactionary governance, you'd think we were still in the pandemic.

Doug Ford: Shoot first, ask questions eventually.

I'm no expert on TFW or immigration in general, but I can't imagine a gov't can fine-tune the inflow of workers on anything less than an 18-24 month timeline. The lagging factors seem too numerous and complex, so they're forever frantically turning the tap one way or the other.

I expect the Carney government will try to sell an approach which promises to "feather the flow" of TFWs to match the needs of corporate Canada without further burdening our insufficient housing and healthcare. This is fantasy.

Ending the TFW program will be generally popular, until it’s actually gone and a boneless, skinless chicken breast costs $40. Then Poilievre will blame the carbon tax, or something.

Mark Cuban defending Steve Ballmer only makes me think rich team owners engaging in shenanigans to get around the salary cap is standard operating procedure. Steve was simply the first one to get caught.

RT @mcarv_s: when they invent time travel i’m going back to stop that white girl from ever going viral.