Jon Marthaler
@jmarthaler
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Sometimes #MNUFC coverage, sometimes other Minnesota sports, always Minnesota nice. Crackpot. Part of @sportivepodcast .
Joined December 2008
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Been hired to combat misinformation about Roseville. First of all, it’s not the suburb with the weird oil refinery by the highway that lights up at night. That’s Rosemount. Common mistake.
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You tell yourself it was a good run, then you tell yourself that at least they didn't give up, then you tell yourself that at least they made it close, then you tell yourself that at least they had a chance, and then they win
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Loons have won three in a row, Wolves have won five in a row, Twins have won 12 in a row.
What is even happening to Minnesota right now?
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The Wolves just blew a 15-point lead with two minutes to go. “You could not have written this script,” says Dave Benz, who is I guess calling his first Timberwolves game ever
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#MNUFC
plays at St. Louis City on Saturday, which means they have only 165 more hours to work on not passing the ball directly to João Klauss in their own defensive end
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Two MLS teams currently have 2 points per game in the standings.
One is Inter Miami, the star-laden poster boys for the whole league, the team that leads every MLS broadcast and news item.
The other is
#MNUFC
.
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There is something incredibly American, or maybe just American soccer-ish, about a South African and a South Korean, arm in arm, yelling "¡VAMOS! ¡VAMOS! ¡VAMOS!" straight into the camera
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Sure,
#GopherHockey
may have lost the national championship game, but at least they did it in the most hard-to-watch way possible, while showcasing absolutely nothing about the team that made them fun to follow this season
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Take a bow, Emanuel Reynoso. The
#MNUFC
number 10 was the only player in MLS this season to reach double digits in goals, assists, AND yellow cards.
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The National Weather Service wants to put the upcoming storm into perspective… so this being Minnesota, they use the NHL Draft as a metaphor.
Killing me that they use “bottom 6” casually, just assuming that everyone will understand it.
#mnwx
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When the earth crashes into the sun, all that’s left will be Matt Kalil, not blocking anyone and just watching the carnage.
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Just sitting here on March 5 in a frozen thunderstorm thinking about how
#MNUFC
doesn’t have a single home game in June
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Make fun of me for over-celebrating all you want. I’ve been watching the Timberwolves for more than 30 years and that’s like the third important, exciting Wolves win I’ve ever seen, so I’m gonna celebrate a little, thanks
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I’m a Minnesota sports fan. What I want to happen is hardly ever what happens.
Joe Mauer hitting a double in his last at-bat, then catching in the ninth inning one final time while the crowd roared, was not only what I wanted to happen - it was better.
I’m so happy.
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MLS plays a really unbalanced schedule, so I calculated the conference-only standings for the league.
Here are your 2022 MLS conference champions - one the same, one not:
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I started digging through the record book, and to update this:
Emanuel Reynoso is the only player in MLS history to reach double digits in goals, assists, and yellow cards in a single season.
#MNUFC
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Darwin Quintero is one of the best free-agent signings in Minnesota sports history.
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Not saying, just saying:
#MNUFC
finished ahead of Inter Miami in the Supporters' Shield standings last year, on goal difference, so if they make the Leagues Cup final and so does Miami, Lionel Messi and company could visit St. Paul after all.
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I’d like to bid a fond farewell to
@Chris_Ramirez17
. All he ever did for
Minnesota was score tons of goals while becoming the unimpeachable face of the franchise - far more than anyone expected of him. Gets to go to LAFC, a model team with an excellent coach. Good for him.
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19,829 at Allianz Field tonight. That's the biggest
#MNUFC
crowd of the season, and it sounds like it. Atmosphere is electric.
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#MNUFC
had the celebration ready to go in the locker room and champagne on ice. Saw two opened bottles, no spraying, a couple of guys having a few sips; I'm told the players took down the plastic tarps.
I guess this team feels like it has more to do, yet this year.
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Solid, veteran move from Métanire. He knows how much his team struggles against 10 men and so he gets himself sent off instead. Can’t have a man advantage if you’re already down to 10!
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The Portland Oregonian pulling everyone off the Timbers beat was a reminder that
#MNUFC
might be the best-covered MLS team of all. Two newspapers, the Athletic, radio and TV, and a number of other sites/podcasts/etc all make it a centerpiece. Keep demanding more.
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One of those personal notes ahead of this Loons game: is there a better place to be than here, on a beautiful night, for a big game?
I’m so lucky to be here and to get to write about this, and I know it.
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I would like to thank my son for arriving before
#FIFAWWC
started, and my wife for not laughing at me for trying to cooordinate his feeding schedule with the game schedule.
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How do you know VAR is idiotically slow? They move slower than a dang accounting department
Due to the unusual circumstances surrounding Nashville's win over Club América, Season Ticket Members who opted into Leagues Cup tickets were charged. These charges will be reversed shortly.
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#MNUFC
training note: There was a llama on the sidelines today.
Most players were having nothing to do with the llama. DJ Taylor, however, stood by the llama, yelling at teammates, "Hey! Come and touch the llama!"
Can you tell the Loons don't have a game this Saturday?
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Huh, turns out the "sit back and let RSL take 400 shots from wherever they choose" defensive plan was not successful.
#MNUFC
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Just want to say to any Loons fans that are still watching this game (and are here online), even though it's nearing midnight and LAFC is using the visitors for target practice:
You are true sickos. You are my people. I appreciate you.
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I need an official
#MNUFC
statement about how they ended up with black jerseys and white shorts. What in the world?
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Who wants a Reynoso update/statement from
#MNUFC
CSO Khaled El-Ahmad?
“Emanuel Reynoso did not attend his recent green card appointment, and he remains in Argentina. We do not have an updated timeline for his return and have no additional comment at this time.” (Con’t in next)
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Watching English people talk about today’s semifinal makes me feel so at home, as a Minnesotan, because absolutely every English person seems to be at fever pitch of I AM THE MOST EXCITED I HAVE EVER BEEN YET ALSO COMPLETELY CERTAIN TODAY WILL BE THE WORST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE
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The Minnesota Timberwolves, missing the potential Defensive Player of the Year from the lineup, held the defending NBA champs to 35 points in a half.
We've gone entire seasons, decades maybe, as Wolves fans, without anything this good to savor
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2003: wow this bar has Guinness, how foreign
2014: this bar has a really good craft list, I like it here
2019: what the hell is a Wanker Central Cthulhu Four Square Swiss Double Bock IPA
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2018 Minnesota pro sports review:
Twins: disaster, manager fired
Vikings: disaster, firings upcoming
Wolves: Shakespearean tragedy of a disaster
Wild: disaster but also they have no way to stop it
Lynx: disaster on the end of greatness
Loons: disaster with grade inflation
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Soccer Insider: I went to Providence Park, the home of
@TimbersFC
. I ended up with goosebumps.
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All of you told me that Master Noodle was good, but nobody told me that it was so good that it would become my sole form of self-care from now on.
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Hey guys remember the night when the Wild shut out the Blackhawks and the Gophers slaughtered the Badgers? That was a pretty good night.
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Allow me, a middle-aged Minnesota sports fan, to share some wisdom with any young people reading this:
If the Twins are playing the Yankees, or the Wolves are playing the Lakers, find something else to do with your time.
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The Wild have existed for two decades and this is the first time that they could accurately be described as “fun."
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#MNUFC
has 20 points in 9 games against the three Texas teams, and 21 points in 20 games against the rest of MLS.
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“This Wolves team is different than all the other Minnesota sports teams,” said the fools, the buffoons, the hopeless and the damned
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Good morning. The Minnesota Golden Gophers are 8-0 this football season and in fact have won ten consecutive football games.
I don't know what's going to happen the rest of this year and beyond, but I am going to damn well enjoy this feeling for a couple of weeks.
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Realized this morning that if
#MNUFC
successfully completes the deal for Pachuca's Miguel Tapias, they will have center backs named Michael, Mikael, and Miguel this season.
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Saturday night’s all right for… Emanuel Reynoso news!
As many have noted from social media, he is indeed back in Minnesota.
#MNUFC
has “outlined clear steps that he must complete before any reintegration with the first team,” according to a club spokesman.
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We can talk about the Rosendo Mendoza's elastic interpretation of time, but we also need to talk about Mikael Marques juggling the ball on the halfway line, leading inevitably to the turnover that ended with the ball in the back of the net.
What in the absolute world.
#MNUFC
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The Wild are terrible at home this year. Also, seemingly, every Wild player has a new baby this year.
I'm just saying that the correlation is definitely there and the causation seems plausible.
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No Minnesota fanbase has ever spent more, and gotten less, than
#mnwild
fans, whether it’s dollars or just sheer undying support. They’re the Ponzi scheme of Minnesota sports.
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Curious what you think of the new jerseys on the field,
#MNUFC
fans. Black and blue isn’t the iconic wing look, but on the field it looks pretty snazzy to me?
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When
@MNUFC
fired Adrian Heath with two games to go in the 2023 season, I thought that the best explanation was that they wanted to get an early jump on hiring someone new.
Guess I couldn't have been more wrong about that one!
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Well, that was terrible, but at least it’s also 11:30pm on a school night.
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How many years of US Open Cup frustration have we endured? How many ugly losses, how many cheating KC teams… and now, finally, a trip to the final.
#MNUFC
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#MNUFC
4, Everton 0.
Meaningful? Maybe not. But this has to go down as one of the more delightful nights in Loons history.
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The Star Tribune is going to start posting my Saturday soccer column online on Fridays, which I'm hoping means it'll be more than just Saturday coffee-drinkin' dads that read it from now on.
Starts with this: La Liga and MLS are both just chasing dollars, at the expense of fans.
Soccer problem: Leagues care more about money than fans. Our latest Soccer Insider with
@jmarthaler
.
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FINAL: Union Omaha 2,
#MNUFC
1.
The Loons played two DP attackers for all 90 min against a 3rd-division team - including the last 40 when they were trailing and desperately needed a goal! - and scored once.
Just a deeply embarrassing night for the franchise, on multiple levels.
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[turns on TV for USA game against Bosnia and Herzegovina]
[checks lineups to see if Christian Ramirez is in the starting lineup]
[finds out Ramirez isn’t even a substitute]
[turns off TV]
[throws TV out window]
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Okay, the
#MLSSeasonPass
broadcast of Minnesota and Dallas has lost audio once and video about three times.
Did they subcontract this broadcast to Bally Sports, or what?
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[peels nameplates off of backs of LAFC defenders' jerseys]
hey wait why does every single one of these say "DEMIDOV" on the back
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I only want one thing for Christmas - in fact I'd be fine if it was the only thing you all got me for every Christmas forever:
I want Minnesota's NHL team to be named the North Stars again, and adopt the appropriate classic jerseys.
There is not one good reason not to do this.
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I often get random team magnet schedules in the mail from realtors, mortgage companies and so forth - Vikings, Twins, even a few Gopher football schedules.
Today was the first time any of them has ever sent me a
#MNUFC
schedule.
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I want to note that Lindsey Horan just got engaged to a Minnesotan and therefore, that counts as a World Cup goal scored by
#oneofus
.
#localangle
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We need to talk about that tackle from
#AllForCITY
's Kyle Hiebert. Not only did he dive in after his teammate had won the ball, give away a penalty, and earn a yellow card, he ALSO managed to foul his teammate.
A true "just learning the controls on FIFA" moment.
#MNUFC
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I got thinking about
#MNUFC
and a few Twitter discussions - and then I watched the Timberwolves. We should appreciate the Loons and where they’re at. It could be so much worse.
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At the press conference on Saturday,
#MNUFC
defender Michael Boxall A) wore a Lewis Hamilton t-shirt, B) brought his adorable child, and C) talked about his love of donut holes.
Checks all the boxes. Truly a man of the people and a hero for our times.
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(/Nikola Jokic stabs a defender in the thigh with a knife)
REFEREE: (/eyes go deep, shining black, whistle falls from his mouth)
TIM LEGLER: Wow that’s a smart play by Jokic, taking advantage of the knife like that
(/whistle; foul on Jaden McDaniels)
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Naz Reid has reached a level of popularity that, in Minnesota, has heretofore only been reached by Vikings backup quarterbacks and Gopher football coaching candidates who previously lived in Minnesota for at least six months
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Adrian Heath deadpan answer of the week: "We've been working in training all week with Dayne setting Fraga up in the last minute."
#MNUFC
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Once people find out that I cover
#MNUFC
, the most common question I get - even from sports fans - is, “Has their season started yet?”
With this in mind, here are seven reasons that Minnesota sports fans should be paying attention to the new chapter for the Loons.
New from
@jmarthaler
-- seven reasons this could be the season potential fans start paying closer attention to Minnesota United:
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Number of playoff games (not series, games) won, past 15 years:
Vikings: 3
Wolves: 1
Twins: 1
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Trying to put the
#MNUFC
situation in perspective, by imagining it happening to the other teams in town:
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Oh man,
@MNAuroraFC
gave up a 90th-minute equalizer, and has to settle for a 1-1 draw in their first game as a franchise.
One game and they’re already fully Minnesotan. Maybe they shouldn’t have put “Minnesota” in their team name? Is there time to just go with "Aurora FC"?
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[Mauer homers]
Wife: “It would have been helpful if he’d done that with someone on base.”
Send help, I married a KFAN caller
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I'm VERY naive (and sometimes unable to read a masthead), but I was surprised to find out most/all of The Athletic's MLS "beat writers" aren't salaried employees, including MNUFC writer and good egg
@jeffrueter
. ""The new standard of sports journalism" should include... benefits.
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The greatest individual battle in the
#MNUFC
game so far, sadly, is Bongokuhle Hlongwane vs. the ball.
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It sure was an awfully nice day outside to witness one of the worst losses in
#MNUFC
history!
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Christian Ramirez scoring two goals in the first half-hour of his first start for LAFC is putting me through the five stages of grief all over again
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#MNUFC
allows a ridiculous stoppage-time goal. Kind of a relief, comforting and familiar, like a favorite blanket
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Alan Benítez brings a lot to the
#MNUFC
attack, but he occasionally seems to have been trained at the Demidov-Calvo School of Defending (unaccredited)
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That's pretty much the
#MNUFC
road playbook, right there: take one of your chances, get behind the ball and defend, give all your fans a blood pressure of 180/130. Big season-opening win for the Loons.
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Monday Encouragement:
No matter what you screw up today, at least you didn’t trade up to get a kicker that can’t kick.
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@AaronGleeman
I am angrier at several of the GMs in this draft than I have EVER been at any Minnesota sports GM
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My three thoughts on Minnesota 3, Portland 1:
1) Bebelo who?
2) I suspect Hassani Dotson or Thomas Chacon will be into the lineup and Robin Lod out, next week
3) Luis Amarilla and Ethan Finlay clicking was (chef kiss)
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Truly, I’m shocked that Gopher hockey’s game plan of trying to stall for 40 consecutive minutes didn’t actually work.
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