JJ
@jjdotbiz
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i was losing my mind, yeah | research @blankcheckpod | phd @uwmadison
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Retiring from posting. But more importantly, retiring from reading your posts. Peace and love 💜
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HARRISON FORD: And the award for Best Picture goes to [looks into camera knowingly, shrugs w/ a smile] Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
GOOFY: [voiceover] This is director Tetsuya Nomura's first Oscar win. He was previously nominated for his character design work on 2000's The Bouncer.
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ME, EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE UNTIL TODAY: I must delay my beloved daughter’s acquisition of the cursed cell phone as long as humanely possible
ME, TODAY: [to my wife, very gravely] Leos Carax is losing to Edgar Wright in the Blank Check March Madness poll…
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I think it will be fun to research the films of David Lynch.
And your 2024 Blank Check March Madness Champion is...
DAVID LYNCH!
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At my first department Oscars party, I walked through the door and was instantly greeted by David Bordwell, who said, “Important question for you: Tony or Ridley?” After I said Tony, he turned to my advisor and said, “Ok, good. He can stay.”
Up today in March Madness, you can choose between "All the Replicants. Man?" and "All the President's Men":
It's RIDLEY SCOTT PT I (1) vs ALAN J PAKULA (8).
Vote:
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Baby Annette already went through so much and now the Blankies are doing this to her…
Today in March Madness, you can opt for a guy who directed a documentary about Sparks, or a guy who made a surrealist musical with them.
It's EDGAR WRIGHT (3) vs LEOS CARAX (6).
Vote here:
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It’s time to do the right thing. Whether it’s an early blowout or it comes down to the 25th hour, by (red) hook or by crook(lyn), a Spike Lee miniseries? Folks, WE’VE gotta have it.
Well, folks - it's all come down to this.
Two absolute juggernauts. Titans of American cinema.
DAVID LYNCH (1) vs SPIKE LEE (1).
Who will be our 2024 March Madness Champion??
Vote:
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I compiled a 153-page list of everything I've ever cited in a dossier for Blank Check.
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I will also get fired. But it will have been worth it.
If he wins, researcher
@jjdotbiz
gets to be on an episode!
It's STEVEN SODERBERGH PT I*
*(SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE thru CHE PT 2)
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Which Film Art was yours? Mine was Collateral. And then later Moonrise Kingdom when I got to teach Intro myself.
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Gutted by the loss of David Bordwell. I would fundamentally have a different life—be a different person—without his work. That I got to spend a little time with him—and that he was so gracious, so kind, so full of life and endlessly curious—is something I will cherish eternally.
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The voters have spoken: if you want to be a serious March Madness contender, you must direct an Oldboy.
Today in March Madness, we've got a filmmaker who is synonymous with New York (even though he made a movie called CHI-RAQ), and a filmmaker who is synonymous with Chicago and its surrounding suburbs.
It's SPIKE LEE (1) vs JOHN HUGHES (4).
Vote:
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I read the whole book.
And then our first series of 2024 will be...
"Podcast, can you hear me?"
PODCASTL: BLANK CHECK PRESENTS THE FILMS OF BARBRA STREISAND
This means you've got a little more than a month to read the 900-page memoir, folks!
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ME BEFORE MARCH MADNESS STARTED: After the Park win last year, I think I'll just chiiiilllll out this year
ME AFTER MARCH MADNESS STARTED: "Hey I know we haven't talked in, well, almost a decade, but I'm really going to need you to click this link and vote for Steven Soderbergh"
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The fate of the entire Midwest depends on my dossier for The Straight Story.
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At this point in time, the only Julianne Moore movie covered on the main feed has been The Lost World: Jurassic Park. VOTE HAYNES.
Happy Friday! Today in March Madness, you can choose between Natalie Portman mirroring Julianne Moore, and Natalie Portman mirroring herself (?)
It's TODD HAYNES (3) vs ALEX GARLAND (7).
Vote:
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As a child, I often wondered what it would feel like to play in March Madness. As an adult, I know it mostly involves strangers weirdly assuming you don’t like one of your favorite directors because you said you liked another director too lol.
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Unspeakably proud to be working for Blank Check in its own "Blank Check" era. Today's ep, on the first 2 Buster Keaton-directed features, is a must-listen, full of insight from Keaton SCHOLAR
@thehighsign
, but also jokes and asides—it's BC at its best imo.
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And while I’m back here for a sec… a short tribute to my grandma, who died this past Monday at the age of 95. She was one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and it was the many sick days I spent at her house as a kid that led to my still daily habit of doing the crossword. 💜
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Hello, "X" World. Stopping by real quick because I have something to promote:
It's my birthday.
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Some pretty cool filmmakers featured here imo.
Starting to feel a little…mad, you might say? 👹
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The time has arrived.
Today in March Madness, you must choose between the egregious Oscar snubs of Julianne Moore, Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara, and Natalie Portman...
Or the wins of Reese Witherspoon and Angelina Jolie.
It's TODD HAYNES (3) vs JAMES MANGOLD (6).
Vote:
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This is the most important day of my life. VOTE HAYNES.
Today in March Madness - is your heart with Thelma & Louise? Or Carol & Therese?
It's RIDLEY SCOTT PT I (1) vs TODD HAYNES (3).
Vote:
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Soderbergh Haynes
Lynch Spike
MARCH MADNESS PART VII - THE NEW BLOOD
All filmmakers here are making their first appearance in a Blank Check March Madness tournament!
Voting will take place each day of March starting at 10AM ET on
(There's a printable bracket at that link, too!)
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Push me to the edge
All my friends are dead
Push me to the edge
All my friends are dead
Push me to the edge
All my friends are dead
Push me to the edge
Pour one out for Sodey. Pour one out for Researcher JJ.
David Lynch moves on to the finals.
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Ok, time for me to close up shop again. But before I go, I have just one last thing to say:
David Lunch.
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Over/under 14.5 pages for the Last Flag Flying dossier.
In our final Sweet Sixteen showdown, you must choose between DAZED & CONFUSED and IN & OUT.
It's RICHARD LINKLATER (3) vs FRANK OZ/JIM HENSON (2).
Vote:
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It's real.
We're jumping into our next miniseries right away, and it's our March Madness champion!
🇰🇷🪖🔨🩸🖌️⛰️
I'M A PODCAST, BUT THAT'S OKAY: Blank Check Presents the Films of Park Chan-Wook
June 18th kicks off
#SickoSummer
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Back for a little promo: my new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, comes out tomorrow. The team and I put a lot to work into it, and I hope you have fun playing it. All the games I have made are special to me, but this one, well, it’s especially special.
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I think either of these two guys would be really fun miniseries 👨⚖️
Today in March Madness, you must choose between being emotionally wrecked by TWO LOVERS or by GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES - two very different movies that have both made me SOB.
It's JAMES GRAY (4) vs ISAO TAKAHATA (5)
Vote:
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I once overheard David ask someone how tall a basketball hoop was. I stepped in to answer, which somehow led into me talking at him about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s recent Mycroft Holmes novel for too long. When I finished, he said, “I sure am glad we have people like you around here”
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Honestly, I would have so much fun doing either of these directors.
Today in March Madness - our last matchup in the Elite Eight! Time flies!
Are we thinking...SCHOOL DAZE? Or SCHOOL OF ROCK?
It's SPIKE LEE (1) vs RICHARD LINKLATER (3).
Vote:
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Now presenting... for the sixth consecutive year... THE 101 Songs. No repeat albums. Ranked as hell. 2023 bangers ONLY. Curated by YOURS TRULY. Listen, dance, sing, cry, SHARE.
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The work David leaves behind was paradigm-shifting, brain-rebalancing, Earth-spanning—definitive. But what first attracted me to his writing was how intrinsically playful it was: there was always another question to ask, another place to poke and prod, another movie to screen.
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I do not spend significant time here anymore but it’s nice to have this place available for days like today 💜
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Hope you're ready for lots of Shakespeare talk.
YIPPEE KI-YAY.
Next week, we're starting POD HARD WITH A VENGECAST: The Films of John McTiernan
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Coming out of retirement briefly to say: Mr. Podcast lol
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Ok one more post... I am going to stop using this website because it sucks and it's dying and it makes me feel bad and I spend way too much time on it instead of doing other stuff that makes me happier. Please stop DMing my friends to see if I've been canceled lmao. Ok bye bye!
Retiring from posting. But more importantly, retiring from reading your posts. Peace and love 💜
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A few thoughts before I take leave from this site in a few days:
- Tigers Blood… She did it again. The Katie Crutchfield discography is my Boyhood.
- Chef Jamie on Top Chef: huge. Ahan is the best restaurant in the world.
- Why is Ed Zwick’s memoir so fucking good lmao
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Thinking about Griffin jamming "podcast" into Soderbergh's opening remarks from Schizopolis and smiling serenely.
And we are now in the Elite Eight!
Up today - Hot fuzz (JLo in OUT OF SIGHT) vs HOT FUZZ.
It's STEVEN SODERBERGH PT I (1) vs EDGAR WRIGHT (3).
Vote:
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Still retired but logging back in for one second to say that I have also retired from watching professional basketball and I think the Milwaukee Bucks should probably retire from playing it.
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A fifth of my grad school term papers were about Steven Soderbergh lol. (No, you can't read them.)
And we are now in the FINAL FOUR!
Two top-seeded candidates will now face each other.
It's Erin Brockovich vs Laura Palmer...
Singani63 vs Best Cup Coffee...
It's STEVEN SODERBERGH PT I (1) vs DAVID LYNCH (1)
Vote:
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My team's 8-week bar trivia win streak ended last night, too.
Ridley Scott may have had trouble getting back into his LA mansion yesterday (see TMZ), but he did manage to defeat Todd Haynes in our March Madness poll:
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Hello, Twitter World. For the sixth consecutive year, I will be releasing a playlist of my favorite songs of the year. The 101 Songs, 2023 — coming to you on November 30th. See you then!
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The adage that you should never meet your heroes did not apply to David: he was as awe-inspiring off the cuff as he was on the page—probably more so—but also so warm, so giving, so delightful. Our world is far poorer without him, but indescribably richer for ever having had him.
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Funny guy.
MISCHIEF. MAYHEM. PODCAST.
Coming September 10:
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I don't know, if I'm gonna be hanging around here for March Madness, I might as well do some Oscar posts, too
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Haynes Gang, do we have one last push for our boy in us? Do we have contacts in our phone we’ve yet to text? Favors we’ve yet to cash in? Hot dogs left to add to the grill?
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And more importantly, here is the video for "Right Back to It," the first single from Waxahatchee's new album TIGERS BLOOD.
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I saw two very great—and very different—movies today: Janet Planet and Gasoline Rainbow. The former speaks loudly with silences, the latter dead ass shouts its way to profundity. Both have given me newfound faith in the future of American cinema.
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It made me feel invincible lol. And it was such a perfectly Bordwellian response: light and witty and funny but earnestly appreciative that I had passionately told him about something of which he was previously unaware. I think about this moment every time I feel bad about myself
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Also I just looked at my feed on here for the first time in a couple weeks and my eyeballs are on fire. How are so many of you still doing this everyday
OK bye bye, gotta go track down all the details about the failed Park Chan-wook western that was written by S. Craig Zahler.✌️
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We are one with the power that created us. We're safe and all is well in our world.
I love you. I love you. I really love you. I love you.
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I just used my mom’s phone to vote for Todd Haynes. Use your mom’s phone to vote for Todd Haynes.
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Logging back in real quick to point out that I said unspeakably because the movies are silent. Okay goodbye again Elon!
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Hello, Twitter World. I return once again to promote — I'm on this week's episode of
@hhynspod
talking about Kelly Reichardt's FIRST COW:
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I spend so much time making this silly playlist every year and it means so much to me that any of you take the time to listen to it. Thank you!!
Now presenting... for the sixth consecutive year... THE 101 Songs. No repeat albums. Ranked as hell. 2023 bangers ONLY. Curated by YOURS TRULY. Listen, dance, sing, cry, SHARE.
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This only makes it more important to vote for Todd Haynes.
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Promoting this one last time before I make my exit from this website (until the next time I have something to promote, which may be soon).
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Hmmm… I wonder what game this could possibly be about… 🤔🧐🤔
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We did it. Genuine thanks to everyone who listened and made this The 101 Songs’ biggest year yet. See you in 2024 🫡
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Nah. That one fucking sucks. Find me at
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Hopping back on here for a second to see if everyone has Fire Adrian Griffin avatars yet.
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Warning: I will not stop promoting this until I surpass last year’s saves total.
Now presenting... for the sixth consecutive year... THE 101 Songs. No repeat albums. Ranked as hell. 2023 bangers ONLY. Curated by YOURS TRULY. Listen, dance, sing, cry, SHARE.
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If we're going by 2023 festival billing standards I think this puts me around the MJ Lenderman slot, let's go
Everyone is here! I'm so excited to announce all the incredible writers you'll find in VIDEO GAME OF THE YEAR!
The best gaming history book arrives on July 11
Pre-order
#VGOTY
today:
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Hey! I did a little consulting on the newest episode of Slate's Decoder Ring podcast.
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Reminder that I am in this awesome book that you can purchase starting TOMORROW.
It's still surreal that after more than two years my first book, VIDEO GAME OF THE YEAR, releases tomorrow. I'm so proud of everything in this book: my game history writing,
@WrenMcDonald
's art, and all the guest essays.
I hope you all enjoy
#VGOTY
!
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That was the last time I’m reposting that today. I promise. 😇
(It’s nice to have me (briefly) back, admit it.)
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