If any of your furry ones start choking & you don’t have the time to sort through 1,500 screenshots, I promise that I will have this tweet pinned forever

Hey everyone, it's Nick and I'm working with Cory Richardson (@Richardson1224) to help raise support for several communities that have been devastated by Hurricane Helene. The communities we will focus most on are: Hampton, Roan Mountain, and Erwin. Below is the link to a

Just got carded at Walmart for Sharpies & name tags. Turns out you have to be 18 to buy Sharpies in Texas.

Do you think dogs like music?

Chandra just called him Leono Dicardiap

I went to a tea party themed birthday party yesterday. We were asked to bring a piece of gossip with us, and spill the tea at the tea party. 10/10 party, 1000/10 idea

this guy told me today that I was really lucky to have so many good & genuine friends and I agree. I hit the friend jackpot in this lifetime for sure.

Jewelry

Apparently Chuck E. Cheese’s name is actually Charles Entertainment Cheese

These are my Roman Empire

him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news

I asked the cashier to squeeze as much as she could into each bag. She bagged 7 items in 5 bags.

AI created image from the phrase, “Jesus flipping over the tables in the temple.”

Confused to report that one of my brothers thinks about the Roman Empire 2-3 times a week. Another brother thinks about the Roman Empire weekly, but is more often thinking about the Punic Wars, the Varian disaster, medieval kingdoms, the Reconquista, and the Crusades 😂😂😂

I don’t remember signing up for this but I’m 100% sure I did 😂

Which is your LEAST favorite?

Just had a whole conversation with this KID at WORK with my SHIRT hooked on my BRA and my whole SHIT WAS OUT

I would like to personally thank the inventor of dry shampoo

There’s nothing like the bond between two people who realize they’re on the same SSRI

date: can you take off your work gloves Jim Henson: they have names

Do you think Aaron used to be Aron until phonebooks came out? I feel like people started regularly seeing public lists of alphabetized names & wanted their kids to be at the top of those lists.