✦ eve ✦
@impossiblyeve
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i say dumb shit online | i stream on twitch | use code EVE for 10% off at gamersupps | @possiblyeve https://t.co/mTu2SgkaqO
Joined February 2013
what if instead of x it was called twitter and instead of posts they were tweets.
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dude.
how long after eating kiwi does ur mouth stop tingling.
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hes not even fucking peeling it.
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having anxiety is so lame like why is everything embarrassing.
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fuck these unrealistic beauty standards.
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oomf just lost their arm 😭😭😭😭.
my 16 year old sister just sent this to me, the American education system is in shambles
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not arguing with a straight man ur g spot is in ur butt.
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the urge to say “bye” in vc and wait for everyone to say bye back
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i thought mexican cartels agreeing to a ceasefire in honor of akira toriyama was a joke but its real 😭.
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they should invent a kind of sleep that leaves you refreshed in the morning.
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my friend is a grade school teacher in chicago, she sent me this pic of what they’ve confiscated so far this week & it’s only wednesday
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other countries get shit like this meanwhile we get fucking travis scott burger.
Krispy Kreme is releasing a Pokémon donut set in Korea! Includes Pikachu, Ditto, Psyduck, Jigglypuff and Diglett! 🍩
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card declined at subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.
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not me i keep that shit on the corner of the bed.
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being pregnant is so crazy everyone knows u were creampied.
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situationship but the situation is our souls are forever intertwined and we are destined to find each other in every universe.
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unrelated but how long until i go back to normal.
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u should be allowed to skip work if ur unemployed friend wants to “go on an adventure”.
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u can just be chillin and ur guy friend will say some shit like “ive always loved you”.
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imagine having sex with someone and when they finished they said “gg” and just fucking left.
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WHY DID MY WAITER GRAB HIS CROTCH AND WINK AT ME WHEN HE GAVE THIS TO ME 😭😭
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calling it a situationship is crazy when the situation is they dont want u.
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me at 1 day pregnant: omg the baby is craving a glock in my rari.
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dude came into the store, didnt buy anything and then handed me $20 for my time…. have an amazing life sir
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are you actually horny or are you just craving human intimacy and affection.
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i said it before imma say it again. ‼️WOMEN AINT SHIT‼️🙅🏻♀️
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how do u fuck up pancakes this bad.
ok i know the first pancake always gets bungled but girl………there’s no way i fucked it up this bad
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more people are upset with sketch doing gay OF content than doc talking inappropriately to minors u cant make this shit up.
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i need a shock collar that zaps me every time i say sorry for no reason.
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can i come over and and wash ur dishes and do ur laundry and bring u cut up fruit and rub ur shoulders and and make u tea and tuck u into bed and give u a forehead kiss.
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calling someone a bum gotta be the funniest fucking insult ever.
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having anxiety is so embarrassing why am i scared to go out in public.
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cute first date idea:. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
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texas roadhouse worker came up to me and asked me if this “is a bit”
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send me a pic of ur tiddies when you get home so i know ur safe.
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hey [with the intention of taking you to the rainforest cafe].
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fumbling a weird girl is worse than fumbling a hundred bad bitches.
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PSA !!!!. If you see League of Legends anywhere online, DO NOT download it !!!!. it will install a virus called League of Legends to your pc and if you run it, it will launch League of Legends.
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as a girl i should never have to work a day in my life instead i should sit around and be cute and also ponder and maybe even yearn.
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I feel like every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests.
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Fat Squirrel you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you. Fat Squirrel:
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guys i messed up
should i soyjack while walking across stage.
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i dont have any rizz i just stare at u and hope for the best.
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y’all ever notice how it’s always the mom that gets pregnant and not the dad? 🤔.
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i be having conversations and watching this shit pop up in real time
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