sanket
@iamsexified
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asking questions nobody cares about • building @talentedagency • advertising • tech • chess • 📸: #teampixel
blr / pune / goa
Joined September 2009
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Pinned Tweet
tharoor sir is currently losing / suffering defeat / getting vanquished / trounced / bested / taking a licking
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girlfriend: do you want to come over during lunch for a quickie
me (a foodie): it's pronounced quiche
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having been a significant investor in the lighter industry for the past decade, here are some 🔥 observations 👇
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licious music CDs launch when
Jain bodies move Bombay High Court seeking ban on advertisement of non-vegetarian food/ products
report by
@Neha_Jozie
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when will the hospitality industry understand that no one likes to hit the breakfast buffet before 10 AM on a goddamn vacation
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A few years ago, I ripped one of my favourite shirts and my mom took this opportunity to teach me an important lesson. Here’s what I learned: 🧵 (1/1)
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any place in Bombay where you can just go and scream with no consequences
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for a generation that uses lol so often, we don't really laugh out loud as much
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y'all discussing who's right or wrong, forgetting that at this moment some linkedin bro is furiously typing out '5 Marketing Lessons I Learned From The Slap'
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When you pay your credit card bills with CRED, you earn CRED coins
Use them to claim cashback and rewards
I know it sounds ridiculous, it’s almost as ridiculous as a functioning govt
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Purple Lighter - Hands down the best out of the lot. Long life, will throw occasional tantrums with flames.
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21 years later, still can't get over
"Akash, Steve"
"Steve?"
"Satyadev Mehta"
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thanks I'll stand
@iamsexified
Hi, we'd like to inform you that as per seat booking policy a certain amount is being charged for all seats during web check-in with effect from 12th Nov 2019. For further assistance, please call us at 18002100999.
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Green Lighter - Will stop working after your flatmate uses it twice. Performance pressure max.
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Blue Lighter - Most often found by moms in your bag. Personal experience. Dangerous, avoid.
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Yellow Lighter - Most likely to burn your moustache, nose hair, eyebrows and dreams.
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Red Lighter - You’ll see it once, and won’t see it again. Most likely nicked by a friend who's visiting, or misplaced easily at a party.
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taking a second today to remember the person who does SEO for third wave coffee roasters and how difficult their job is gonna become in the coming weeks
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linkedin premium - discover new opportunities, get salary insights, access to exclusive tools, grow your network
me - just tell me who stalked me pls 🙏
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You think life is a race? A race is you trying to finish off the panipuri before the panipuriwalla puts the next one into the plate.
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whoever said 'do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life' was wrong
pursuing your passion comes at the price of burnout
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@devonnigelreed
@ellenc__01
No you're not hardcore (not hardcore)
Unless you live hardcore (live hardcore)
And the legend of the rent
Was way hardcore!
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my flatmate walked into my room and said 'bro, if the coronavirus dies after 20 seconds of hand wash, then why do we brush our teeth for so long', so I decided to show him my math
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having a gopi bahu kinda day
- anxious
- victimized
- might just wash my laptop
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"im smoking because the stress of running out of cigarettes is just too much" - roommate
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Found this camera in a cab. Driver said he dropped some tourists at Gateway of India. Please RT.
#Mumbai
@WeAreMumbai
http://t.co/VoYJB0vjW8
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And set the brightness level to SUN.
Emilia Clarke says
#GameofThrones
S8 E5 will be bigger than the
#BattleofWinterfell
— 'Find the biggest TV you can'
(via
@JimmyKimmelLive
| )
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best drive-in in Bombay after panvel mcdonalds
Drive in vaccination centre in Mumbai for senior citizens and specially abled people.
Location- Dadar
@DighavkarKiran
@mybmc
#vaccine
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You're telling me 100% of the country is fucked but only 10% are drinking?
16 crore people in India consume alcohol: Minister
READ:
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A friend told me to stop drinking Gin to avoid having blackouts. How do I tell him that Gin Ne Mera Dil Luteya?
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omg bjp is having its own weekender, will you look at that lineup
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work from home will move a whole lot faster if we all collectively remember to give access before sharing google docs, and actually attach files when saying the words please find attached
thank you for coming to my ted talk
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it's called a salary slip because you watch your salary slip away
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happy yoga day to everyone bending over backwards for other people
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new india's essential services
roti
kapda
makaan
nafrat agar koi musalman
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Think of me only when you want something. And I'll still shamelessly be there for you.
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the irony in HBO not knowing the succession of who is streaming succession in India is such a logan move
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after Tinder Swindler, will we get
Hinge Cringe
Bumble Fumble
OkCupid YouStupid
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John Oliver with back-to-back episodes covering epidemics - first Modi, now Coronavirus.
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a total of 13 zones that need to be cleaned for 20 seconds each
13 x 20 = 260 seconds = 4:20
this is why we should legalize
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But Andheri to Khar is an upgrade.
A young Arctic fox has walked across the ice from Norway's Svalbard islands to northern Canada in an epic journey, covering 3,506 km (2,176 miles) in 76 days. "The fox's journey has left scientists speechless."
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2 months ago: can't wait for GoT to start
now: please end this show, for the love of all gods, old and new
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famous mills in bombay
kamala mills
shakti mills
todi mills
rumor mills
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with all the shows they end up cancelling, Netflix is actually the real 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘭 killer
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"hey, can you finish reading this email while I warm your regards in the oven?"
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Because reservations can be cancelled but promises can't be broken.
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if you're marrying a guy named Mohit and your wedding hashtag is not
#ILikeToMohitMohit
, are you even getting married?
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has everyone on my TL felt good about donating their CRED coins? great, delete your account and move the fuck on
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nobody:
absolutely nobody:
maharashtrians on twitter every 15 days:
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#blackmirror
ep idea:
Influencer marketing reaches a point where everyone is an Influencer and there's no one left to advertise to.
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Turned 30 today and expecting a wish from my favorite number 30
@StephenCurry30
in my favorite number 30 jersey.
@warriors
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the west - relatable tweet, let me retweet it
india - relatable tweet but I could have tweeted something better, fav
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Sometimes, all it takes for you to understand life's truth, is a movie scene.
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eyes are hurting every day watching everyone butcher wes anderson
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bae: come over
me: i cant
bae: my parents aren't home
me: what do you mean your parents aren't home, get them back and teach them about social distancing
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the lady doing the corona warning before a call
Okay let's try again... who's your favourite artist with 19.45M monthly listeners?
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How to be the ultimate douche :
1. Become a twitter celeb by dissing Facebook.
2. Make Facebook page with the same twitter handle and tweets
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getting ready for XIIth boards be like...
This Sunday, thinking of giving up my social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & YouTube. Will keep you all posted.
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first thing to do when lockdown is over
expectation
- meet friends
- get drunk
- smoke
- travel
reality
- get rejected by rickshawala
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just want to screenshot this tweet, make this my family whatsapp group's dp and quit
Some of you never verify messages before forwarding and it shows
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