jupiter jack 🍉
@iamjupiterjack
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l hate bios 💯 now what’s your fucking birth time?
#astrocafe💫☕️
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Channeled Messages for the Signs 💌:
Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, & Pisces
s, m, r, v
• Stop relying on tarot tweets to fix your problems.
• Get off your ass and fix your problems.
• You might be the problem.
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hollywood divorce attorneys after this venus retrograde
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aries, cancer, libra & capricorn placements when they wake up on april 9th :
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they are not that fucking bad, but meanwhile y’all let the sagittarius get away with everything over and fucking over
Whats an opinion on Gemini that will have you like this ?
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tell regular people you like astrology and they treat you like either a witch or miss cleo 😒
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3 things a Capricorn keeps private:
1.) Their next move.
2.)
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I just got sagittarius’d
(turnt up one day / ghosted the next)
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how to make a capricorn do what you want, step one :
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“where you at?” 📲
(answer with your chart ruler)
1H : the mirror 🪞
2H : the bank 🏦
3H : the block 🏘️
4H : CRIB 🏡
5H : the club 🪩 🎆
6H : WORK ⏰ 🖥️
7H : w/ bae 👫👭👬
8H : i can’t talk rn
9H : OT 🌍 ✈️
10H : in my bag 💼 🕴️🙇🏾♂️
11H : w/ the homies 🧍🏾♂️🧍🏾♂️
12H : therapy 💆🏾♂️
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sidereal astrologers reading this:
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a fifth house thread 🧵
your 5H & the traditional planets
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she very forgiving but the irony here is that venus is about to go retrograde
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astrologers : “SCORPIO RISING !”
astrologers I trust : “LIBRA RISING !”
astrologers when they stop arguing :
Astro Twitter, has anyone looked into the profection year for Beyoncé to see when she plans on divorcing Jay?
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everybody acting like venus conjunct saturn gon make love hard.
first of all, you ever had a capricorn venus?
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capricorns catching feelings: “I love y—“
saturn:
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18 year old : “By the time i’m 30, I’m going to be a — “
Saturn return 🪐 :
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@AVenusianVirgo
I guess that’s why lmao he’s like ‘why tf am I by myself? this is a ghetto ass 10 minutes’
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nobody :
capricorns linking up :
There's a place in Morocco where you can find goats perching on these trees' branches.
Yes, goats on trees.
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@JalisaDanielle_
adele: I heard that was during her saturn return
doja cat: a libra. saturn is exalted in libra.
beyoncé: ….. y’all wanna figure that out ?? I don’t.
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@bigempressnergy
can we save the public astrological death studies for another day or time ? it’s too soon. hasn’t even been 12 hours it seems.
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y’all need to stop asking capricorns to open up…
y’all do not want, nor need, to hear everything we have to say 🧍🏾♂️
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A lot of people asked me about —Mars persona charts— lately, so imma cool up a quick run down on how I read them 🧵
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@80HDqueen
@adoseofmars
I hear engineers regret it all the time until they see that paycheck 😂😂😂😂
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moon : the heart
5H moons love to love. they have very active imaginations and can be great lovers and parents. they can also be very impulsive and even hyper-protective of their loved ones.
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As a Capricorn, i’d rather admit that YOU NEED TO SPEAK FOR YOURSELF
As a Capricorn when are we gonna admit that we’re just truly evil, lmao?? Like, it’s fun playing pretend but cmon guys we’re not good folks.
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@Acejittt
i’d delete this order so fast, I do not trust nobody who ain’t already send me the mfing money.
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mars persona charts have three things that might try to tell you it’s the mars.
let me try to break this down a bit easier for y’all 🧵:
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we also need less hating ass twitter accounts and more fun & unique rappers
so back to
@flyanaboss
doing their thing
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this is the last capricorn season under a domicile saturn 🪐
it is also the last season where pluto will be in capricorn 🥶
capricorns can finally feel some ease with the transits to come
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im switching to whole sign. aint no fucking way this mars ain’t in the 6H.
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has anyone found her birthday? im asking for myself, I need ANSWERS.
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venus : the creative
like 5H suns, they are great entertainers & enjoy a big social life. they are some real lovers, attracting as much romance & good vibes as they possibly can. might even have a lil too much fun in the spotlight. venus here is in its house of joy.. so REJOICE!
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saturn in tropical aquarius :
“FINALLY, my saturn return is over !!”
saturn in sidereal aquarius :
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Pluto in astrology is associated with some very deep, dark topics, which seems to be why it’s ruling psychology or psychologists (per Rex Bill).
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@C_Mugi_D
@Qurandale
@Rap
im mad that this time, of all times, I agreed with the annoying ass twitter blue check.
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saturn : the responsible one
these people take life more serious and know the costs of playing too much. they can definitely have fun & growing into great parents and lovers, but if they could just R E L A X for once, that would be great. let loose a bit! lighten up!
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sun : the performer !
5H suns live to entertain and enjoy good vibes with great people. might be a fun date, too! just don’t wanna get stuck in your ego as time goes on— we love ya confidence but keep ya pride in check.
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mercury : the silver tongue
these folk are said to be masters of adding some flair to everything they say and write. might talk you out ya draws too 🥶 just don’t be boring please. (they should also be less picky but baby steps.)
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Now if I told y’all that Saturn ruled weed, y’all gon stop complaining about your incoming Saturn returns or what?
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@theearthyvirgo
from an astrologer’s viewpoint :
Mercury rules the nervous system and virgos get anxious when a spoon isn't on the right spot on the table they are the definition of bothered 🙃
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capricorns : “At this point, I need a sign!”
the universe : “here’s what you gotta do” *gives every sign possible*
capricorns :
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TAG A CAPRICORN/ AQUARIUS ASTROLOGER
Let’s give the Saturnians some light 💡
🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐
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@zenjayg
@Imprettydassit
now school me bc if this isn’t ‘tyler the creator’ then i’m lost as all hell.
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“why tf is everyone hollering about pluto going into aquarius?”
everyone who was hollering:
JUST IN: Scientists are reincarnating the woolly mammoth and it's set to return in just four years 🦣😳
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the aquarius new moon is the start of the lunar new year 🧧 (also called the chinese new year)
what’s y’all chinese zodiac sign? im a rooster 🐓
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a leo somewhere googling this….
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I wasn’t born in the states, so I did my relocation chart.. guys, I might be a fucking gemini rising 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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mars : the host
they love staring the spotlight dead in the face. people love them, but they can be a bit over competitive in sports, in love, or amongst other people, and might also be too quick to date. please take things slow— this is the FUN house.. have fun!
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@jamirahtheleo
@theejayr
you gon have to listen to her music. bc she drops lil hints every now & again. meanwhile, this isn’t her only blue bandana photo.., even got sean rockin it once
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sidereal astrologers :
Virgos just naturally have a magnetic energy to them🤭, but y’all swear it’s Scorpios🙄
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12H-ers :
Phil Collins was right I can feel it coming in the air tonight fr
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How did everyone feel after that new moon in diet capricorn ??
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jupiter : the party animals
they really are having fun almost anywhere. might also be big gamblers, which can work in your favor but doesn’t mean losses would follow. might be quick to show their dates off too, which can be cute but not my first recommendation (as a person lol).
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makes an aries moon group chat
they all got capricorn placements 😭😭😂😂
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ice spice - capricorn
latto - capricorn
megan the stallion - aquarius
cardi b - libra
doja cat - libra
it’s almost like
saturn said “let’s the women hold rap”
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I literally told y’all aquarius was diet capricorn
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welcome to diet capricorn season
♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️♒️
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mars in gemini gone end with half of twitter blocking each other
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“im not trippin over no eclipse”
aries II placements :
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what’s your gemini house
and what is something you tired of hearing people talk about?
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the moon was on chiron before y’all ask why you feeling like that
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@moreno_malulani
@AScorpioKing
The population of modern astrologers seems to agree on “beats the fuck out of you” being somewhere on the list.
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everyone who is a parent.
what planet is in your 5H ??
+
what is the sign of your first child??
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