haley
@haley_darling
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17,604
Following
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Media
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Statuses
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| crohn’s & uc advocate | sports minded | curb your enthusiasm buff | dog lover | swiftie | karaoke star | classic rock fanatic | old soul | bon vivant |⚡️|
mpls
Joined March 2011
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Last Seen Profiles
Olive Garden is trending so just a reminder that this amazing meme exists.
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4K
Happy Draft Day to the Minnesota Vikings and only the Minnesota Vikings.
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I hope someday someone loves me as much as Cris Collinsworth loves Aaron Rodgers.
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2K
Don’t be sad, Cowboys fans. Yankees pitchers and catchers report to spring training on February 13.
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Thank God Kirk is ok with dying because the o-line does not give a fuck about him.
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The hardest jobs to have in 2021: frontline workers, teachers, law enforcement, and the Vikings employee that had to tell Mike Zimmer that Kirk Cousins has Covid-19.
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🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨 After five and a half long days, I get to leave the hospital today!
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913
Good morning to everyone except Aaron Rodgers, the Green Bay Packers, and the entire state of Wisconsin.
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If anyone is looking for a wife that stress cleans before big games while bumping 90s hip hop...hit me up.
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876
Just saw that you can have 3,000 fans at Target Center for Wolves games. That seems like a lot compared to what they’re used to.
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Do you think Stefon Diggs will blame Kirk Cousins for the terrible run the Bills are on?
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778
Steve from Sauk Rapids if you never come to Minneapolis or St. Paul why are you concerned about showing your vaccination card?
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The Vikings prepared less for this game than Common does for his show.
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Kirk Cousins is the ex-boyfriend that says he will do anything to get you back but then does absolutely nothing to change his toxic behavior.
46
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I’m not crying, you’re crying
Best moment of the game, and it’s not even close.
@caseyob14
makes his
#Gophers
debut. He’s been cancer free for one year!!!!!
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3K
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710
Omg it’s a New Year’s Eve Miracle: I’m getting out of the hospital. I can watch football on my couch with delicious takeout. 🥹🥹 God is good all the time!!!
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662
May I suggest Ted Lasso for Timberwolves President of Basketball Operations?
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640
Carlos Correa returning to the Twins is like dumping someone, realizing you couldn’t get anyone hotter, and then crawling back to your ex.
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632
My first surgery in almost three years went great! I’m so grateful for the amazing providers taking care of me and my friends and family for their love and support. Cheers to a happy and healthy rest of the week for all of us. 💜
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641
The Packers all white uniforms with yellow helmets makes them look like dirty Q-tips.
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586
Night Moves by Bob Seger is a top five greatest song of all time and I will fight anyone who disagrees.
98
18
599
During the last episode of 2022 on
@s_a_t_c_podcast
I declared that I would get my dream job in 2023. This past week I accomplished that goal and accepted an offer for my dream job. I can’t wait to start March 6th.
Cheers to exciting, new beginnings & a happy and healthy year.
54
1
596
I promise I’ll never complain about:
- The Twins being 15 games out of first place in July
- The Wild losing in the first round of the playoffs
- The Wolves being the Wolves
- The Vikings choking in prime time
- Gopher Football disappointing us in the back half of the season
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10
586
If I never saw Devin Booker play basketball again, it would be too soon.
10
19
593
I was not expecting to spend Christmas and New Year’s in the hospital but here we are. It is actually apropos for the dumpster fire 2022 was for me. I’m grateful for my friends, family, and the amazing opportunities I was given. But, overall 2022 kind of kicked my ass.
128
1
571
It’s weird how none of these guys have the same last name.
The
#Vikings
announced nine assistant coaches for Kevin O’Connell’s staff before his press conference this afternoon.
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30
12
567
I just found out I’m having surgery tomorrow and I’m so happy. I haven’t felt good for two weeks so hopefully this will help me get back to feeling better. All good vibes and prayers are appreciated! Thanks, fam 💜
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565
The cashier at Trader Joe’s asked if she should leave the mistletoe I bought out of the bag incase I “see any handsome dudes in the parking lot”? 😂😂
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You’re hot, I’m hot, and if you’re thirsty I’m a tall drink of water.
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554
“It’s a 61 yard Minneapolis Miracle.”
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547
This has been the healthiest summer I’ve had since I was 21. Zero hospitalizations or sick days. Life is good.
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555
US Bank Stadium and on the road.
Where do the Minnesota Vikings need to improve for the 2022 season?
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Nothing has gone right for me today and I’m having surgery this afternoon so if you could send some prayers up for your girl, I’d appreciate it. 💜
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On January 4, 2021 I started working out with Peloton and today I finished my 1,000th workout. Working out with Peloton has exponentionally improved my mental and physical health, given me confidence, and given me another way to connect with my friends.
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You guys. We’re 9-2. We won in primetime and our team has ten days of rest ahead.
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Life is all about who you want to celebrate the Packers playoff loss with.
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I CAN BARELY BRING A LIPGLOSS INTO TARGET CENTER AND THIS LADY BROUGHT A WHOLE ASS CHAIN???
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8
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Ketchup is overrated and mustard is by far a superior condiment.
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533
My aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in June. After months of chemo and a big surgery weeks ago we found out today that she’s at Stage 2B and tumors shrunk 90%. I could not be more thankful for her strength and for the treatment working. God is good all the time 💜
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I was wearing a Gophers sweatshirt this morning and now I’m wearing a Wolves one. If anyone is looking for a girlfriend that dresses like a 14 year old boy, hit me up.
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Imagine losing the NFC Championship game and then still having to live in Wisconsin.
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511
Two years ago today I had a huge surgery that took months to recover from and was in the worst spot mentally that I’ve ever been in. This weekend I’m moving into my dream apartment and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Life is good, friends. Be thankful for everything.
22
1
505
It doesn’t matter who wins this game. We’re all losers for having watched it.
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Football.
New Year's resolution time: What would you like your NFL team to get better at in 2022?
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People I’d rather have at quarterback for the Vikings than Carson Wentz:
- Voldemort
- a scarecrow
- Brett Favre with his arms tied behind his back
- Meatsauce
- Jaren Hall
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Aaron Rodgers is a clown. It’s absolutely his choice to remain unvaccinated but he put his team, coaching staff, and other teams at risk by not following protocol. That shows zero respect for others.
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Minnesota wins, Wisconsin and Iowa both lose? Did I die and go to heaven?
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“I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?” - Phyllis Diller
Surgery went great. I’m so thankful for my doctor & his team, great nurses, everyone working at the hospital, and everyone who sent well wishes & prayed for me. 💜
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0
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Playing Password with my family. The password is “chain.” My dad said “gang” to my mom and she responded, “bang.”
31
7
462
Tell me you’re in Wisconsin without telling me your in Wisconsin.
I’ll start: no one was available to ring me up at the gas station because both cashiers were outside smoking.
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451
5 years ago was one of the worst days of my life. I’d never felt worse physically or mentally. I’m grateful for everyone who helped me get out of that place. Now I have my dream job & have never been so happy & healthy. May the flowers remind us why the rain was so necessary 💜
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There’s a guy at the dog park wearing a Gophers sweatshirt. I’m legally required to say “Row the Boat, Ski U Mah, Go Gophers” to him, right?
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