This

Actual speed limits in Texas: 60 = 68-72mph 65 = 75-80mph 70 = 85-90mph 75 = PUT THE MFING PEDAL TO THE METAL

make your wife feel like a single mother, and she won't be afraid to be one

I’m literally so sweet so if I’m mean to you bitch it’s YOU

Being lied to my number 1 pet peeve.

I thought when parents were like “omg my toddler only ate applesauce and 5 goldfish crackers today” they were hyperbolizing but no.. they’re really out here surviving on nothing but crumbs and chaos

Date someone who understands you're just kidding on Twitter

The weirdest thing about motherhood is craving alone time while also not knowing what to do with yourself when you get that alone time

i told my dad he should go to therapy and he mockingly said “oh, what for, so i can talk about how my mommy and daddy didn’t hug me enough?” and it’s like, damn, did you just deny that you need therapy by sarcastically stating exactly why you need therapy?

treating a girl right is not simping

My daughter said her first word at 5 months and spoke sentences at 1. My son is 1.5 and hasn’t spoken a word. They where both talked to and taught the same. Kids are all unique & reach milestones at different times. Don’t ever compare your child’s development to someone else’s.

Lord🙏🏼🙏🏼

Just realized the guy I'm talking to and I are mutual #1 bff's on snap and that made my night better 🥺💛

I hate how so many people still think gift receiving is a materialistic love language. it’s not about expensive gifts. you could literally give me (1) pink flower and go “i know you like pink and i know you like flowers” and i would probably cry

I don’t care how many kids we have. I ain’t buying no damn van. Somebody ain’t going. 😩😩😩😂😂😂

Then when it falls through asking again is just terrible 🥴

Being sneaky behind a good persons back will always catch up to you. Remember that