My freshman year roommate sat me down Day 1 and was like “Heads up: I’ll be bringing lots of girls and maybe even some guys to the dorm this year so, if that scares you, grow up cuz this ain’t high school!”. Anyway, he brought one girl back the whole year and now they’re married.

RT @UnderStudioHub: When You Give 2 Weeks Notice 🐿️ . Original Video: Under Studio x @_RobertSchultz . #office #work #job #animation #mushr….

my therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a ton of bricks: “i feel like you’re just using our sessions to farm quotable content for social media”.

RT @UnderStudioHub: When They Want 2 Weeks Notice 🐿️ . Original Video: Under Studio x @_RobertSchultz . #office #work #job #animation #mush….

RT @UnderStudioHub: How PTO Actually Works 😒 . Original Video: Under Studio x @_RobertSchultz . #interview #hr #pto #timeoff #office #corpo….

RT @UnderStudioHub: Uno Reverse In The Salary Negotiations 😏 . Original Video: Under Studio x @_RobertSchultz . #interview #hr #salary #off….

RT @UnderStudioHub: Uno Reverse In The Job Interview 😏 . Original Video: Under Studio x @_RobertSchultz . #interview #hr #office #corporate….

new episode of young old:

A new ep of Young Old is out now:

RT @lahighnote: TOMORROW APRIL 24th! The Easter Bunny left us an incredible show to end the month on!. Robert Schultz .Andrew Michaan.Lisa….

RT @FixedAirHeather: Last week, I was struck as a pedestrian in a hit and run collision in LA. It was one of the most terrifying moments of….

my boss was like “people working from home are just pretending to work” and it’s like, actually dude, people working in an office are just pretending they couldn’t totally do this at home.

a friend of mine was like "i feel like you're the type of guy who is so bad with money that you've maxed out multiple credit cards" and it's like, joke's on you, i'm actually the type of guy who is so bad with money that i've never even had a credit card.

it's like, oh i'm sorry, were you worried ISIS was gonna start targeting Executive Assistants???.

"any one of my daily mugs of chamomile tea could've been laced with fentanyl".

the most boring people you know will make birthday posts like "wow. never thought I'd make it to 30" and, it's like, why not? what would've possibly kept you from 30?? someone planting a bomb in a DVD box set of The West Wing???.

see something (a little dog on a walk) say something (“why hello to you little sir”).

working a 9-5 job

RT @FollowSellers: DANNY SELLERS FULL COMEDY SPECIAL "POUND 4 POUND" via @YouTube.

my guy friend was like "i went out last night with a girl who is really flexible so you know what that means. " and it's like, oh yeah, it means your crew has finally found a grease man for the big heist.

people in los angeles will never just tell you they’re spiraling. instead they’ll just start saying stuff like “yea i actually always wanted to go into credit card debt making a web series about a pen and a pencil falling in love”.