mom i made it

the skatepark: the only context in which men are courteous of others and physically self aware.

RT @biggersocks: can i come over and do this

i look so busted in lowes right now someone just asked me for help cuz they thought i worked there.

RT @islandthembo: Finn the human when he takes his hat off:

RT @tofucore: literally some dude will just sound constipated fronting a hardcore band and nobody will question his musical abilities.

i like grimes cuz she’s just like. at home.

ordering one bourbon one scotch and one beer at the bar.

girls will perform a chakra cleansing ritual on you then a year later pretend they don’t know you at the walgreens checkout.

you should be able to take yourself off someone’s close friends story list.

when i’m still awake when the nyquil kicks in i start doing so much mental math.

i want to put bruno mars in a jar and shake him up.

anyone who went to art school is not allowed to critique my shit like leave me out of all that i’m just having fun :).

i had to dance kansas city style on em at the coco and clair clair show in denver and girlies could not stand it.

have yall ever been to a rap show where the sub hit so hard that it rattled your uvula and triggered your gag reflex so much that you almost had to run to the bathroom to throw up? yeah that shit rocks.

explaining whats wrong with my cat at the emergency vet

i was a 100 gecs fan before they got their hair professionally toned.

meeting other gay people is like let me guess. barista?.

RT @skatie420: when you think about it, every frog is a crazy frog. those things are fucked.

since its international womens day you all have to act super interested when i say that if i were a sandwich i’d be chicken apple goat cheese spinach.

who wanna get married for the tax benefits.