B.
@getschlossed
Followers
578
Following
561
Media
1,316
Statuses
27,790
📍 somewhere between psychotic and iconic
Cleveland, OH
Joined March 2011
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Unpopular opinion: the Big Bang is not a funny show & is borderline hard to watch 🙃🙃🙃 come at me
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Never did I think I’d have an entire drawer designated for wrestling t shirts but here we are 😅
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Women that cheat with dudes knowing they have a girl are equally the problem. Be a better human ✌🏼
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@Cosmopolitan
@Sephora
it isn’t HER fault her mom wanted to get her into college! OJ said she didn’t even want to go!!
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This made me cry happy tears.
@MandaLHuber
you are always super mama but it shines the brightest through your boys 🥹💜🫶🏼 love 4 eva evaaa
Today was a rough day.
Our friends
@RingsideC
sent B a box for Christmas & I figured I’d let him open it today for a mental boost
Needless to say, they did farrrr too much but he’s absolutely flipping out.
Thank you Ringside Collectibles for being so amazing to my family 💜
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No one cares about you enough to watch your 30 pic story of 2018. Happy New Year!
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Follow my baby boy on IG @ ares.the.warpup for all of the fluffy cuteness 🥹🐾🐺🖤
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No idea where this is but I have a feeling
@RealWardlow
and
@Pres10Vance
would both be eating for free 🤣💀
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@CNBC
@CNBCMakeIt
What about student loans? No cell phone plan is $40/ month. No internet is $20/ month. A month of gas (transportation) is easily $160. Nothing about this is realistic. Oh and most 25 yr olds aren’t pulling $100k!!
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Moving has to be top 2 most annoying life occurrences… and it ain’t number 2
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Real mad at both of y’all 😤
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PSA: I never check my fbook messages because I don’t care about your Arbonne, Beachbody, essential oils, magic wrap bullshit.. and no, I don’t want to join your “awesome team of amazing women” !!!
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Making Michael watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, parts 1 & 2 tonight so he can appreciate the new bed I got for Ares. 😬🤓
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“You old bag of shit” is my new go- to insult 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
You probably thought it was a political issue when Black people and Women wanted equal rights too, you old bag of shit.
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On todays episode of “what’s at
@Target
that I don’t need?” … we have purchased the same sports bras we already have but just more in case the others are dirty 😃
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Public service announcement … it doesn’t matter how high you pull your leggings up your crack, if you don’t have an ass, you don’t have an ass. Sry girlies.
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@MandaLHuber
I love him so much. Can we please start valuing people based off of their ferret equivalent? 🤣🤣
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If you aren’t following my puppy on Instagram, you should BECAUSE HES THE CUTEST, FLUFFIEST, BABY EVERRRRR!! (
@ares
.the.warpup )
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Today is 100% a red wine, fall candles, Fleetwood Mac kind of day 🎃🍂🍷
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When a dude takes the weights I’m using at the gym, I take a very specific approach…
1. Make eye contact.
2. Look at the dumbbells.
3. Grab heavier weight.
4. Make eye contact again.
5. Smirk. 😏
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Never trust someone who doesn’t let their dog sleep in their bed. Like, do you even love them???!!
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Here is a PSA: 99% of your followers don’t notice a difference in the monthly “birthday” photos of your child. 3 months, 4 months, 7 months... means nothing to me. Also, get a dog instead.
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Do yourself a favor and watch the whole thing.
Link for full interview. Thank you for watching, and thank you for the love and support. I appreciate all of you
@AEW
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My toxic trait is thinking that eating bad food when I don’t feel good will help me feel better 🫠
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@neorsd
NE Ohio Sewer District is a verified account with nothing but good tweets. Whoever’s idea it was to start and run this account is a legend 🤣
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The greatest moment on Twitter history was the 24 hours without
@realDonaldTrump
.
@Twitter
can we make this a permanent thing ?
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Yes, I paid for a Tim Burton theme AI image of my baby but CAN YOU BLAMEEE MEEEE. Desktop version coming next 🤣
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I’m so sick of seeings people’s “jar of celery juice” pics!! For fucks sakes do something for yourself without having to tell everyone
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When you see someone’s IG, but you know what they actuallyyyy look like and you’re like
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🥹🥹🥹
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People wanna test us but we can get through anything 💯
Might have new gear tomorrow. Will also have an abundance of frustration to take out to say the very least…. Damn
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I’ve finally reached status on every major airline and I lowkey feel like Thanos 😅
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Every one in shock over Tristan.. where’s the shock about the 2 broads that know he has a woman and a baby due any day 🤔🤔 they’re all grimy but damn i wouldn’t want that karma
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I get so much satisfaction scrolling through Facebook and seeing people from high school that peaked in high school 😂😂😂
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My heart is breaking for everyone 💔 prayers up 🙏🏼
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Changing my sisters caller ID photo from a pic of us drinking white claws on a unicorn float at the lake to a photo of my adorable baby niece is a factor of adulthood no one prepared me for 🤣🥹
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PSA: no one, besides you, sees a difference in your child month to month, but congrats on being 67.952 weeks old!!
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Y’all were so happy about a 60 degree day in December but I bet your sinuses are killing you today... or is that just me 💀
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I bet $6 on Mystik Dan & won for the first time ever on a horse race 😬
I bet three dollars on a horse named Mystik Dan to win the Kentucky Derby because it would be funny for the Derby winner to be a horse that sounds like a guy who would sell you mushrooms in the parking lot of a Phish show.
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"I'm a high school teacher. I work for a non profit. Our budget is 400k" HOW. HGTV. HOW?!
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Let the MAYHEM begin 🔥🔥
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Next week I’ll be in the wizard of world of Harry Potter and no one can stop me 😬⚡️
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Getting breakfast by myself because going to buy breakfast food and then come home and cook it was too much work 🤷🏼♀️
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Officially reached the point that i see a majority of womens’ names on Facebook and think “who the fuck is that” and then realize it’s someone from high school that’s married w/ kids now...
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I really wish people would stop trying to make Keto a thing.... it’s stupid.
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I started my Keurig without having a cup underneath. Winning the day.
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If there’s one thing you can count on me for when traveling, it’s going to be dinner reservations. I have that ish scoped out and reserved before we even land 😛
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A girl at the gym is wearing a tank that says “thick thighs, thin patience” and I think that’s my new life motto 🤣
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Darius thinks we are going into target for ibuprofen ... jokes on him
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How long is this going to take us to build and am I going to regret it? 😅
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It’s 2018 people can you stop putting fake lashes on your forking cars?!?
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I’m wearing darius’ underwear under my work skirt bc I couldn’t find my shorts. Happy Friday.
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Me to Michael on Friday morning: I went grocery shopping for the whole weekend, we shouldn’t need anything else…. Ask me how many times I’ve been to the grocery store since that statement. It’s over 4
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@BuzzFeed
1. Crowd the boarding zone even though they’re still 3 zones away from boarding
2. Sit in the middle and put the arm rests up 😩
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If you wanted to know what the most perfect chocolate chip cookie looks like… here ya go:
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The liquor store on mentor ave changed their sign, it now says "welcome back teachers" HAHA that's great
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I see so many middle aged people texting and driving and yet millenials take the heat for it. Most middle aged people can barely send a text when they’re NOT driving!! 😒😡
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My biggest battle in life is needing things spotlessly clean and having a puppy that works endlessly to destroy clean things. (But also he is the best boy soooo oh well 🥲)
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