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@geocon1713
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Pinned Tweet
Don’t worry about something unless there’s something to worry about.
~ Burt
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Swapping Liz Truss for Boris Johnson would be like tunnelling out of Josef Fritzl’s basement and ending up in Fred West’s garden.
Morning 😁
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So today I am 44. I was born at 4 minutes past 4 on the 4th. My daughter was born 4 days early, my son 4 days late. My first address was number 44.
No guesses what my lucky number is...
Happy birthday me! 🥳
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I've tweeted this before but I feel we need a reminder.
If you are going upstairs at home and someone is walking up infront of you, the rule is that you have to chase them and get their bum. No exceptions.
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Twitter! What’s the last thing you bought online? Just because I’m nosey.
Me, I bought a retractable double washing line. Glamorous.
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Tell me something that costs nothing/very little but makes you happy and why.
I'll start. The birds in my garden. I could watch them for hours.
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The pleasure of telling an arrogant arsehole to FUCK OFF this morning is all mine.
He slid into my DM’s and then told me I was rude for not replying to him, so I’m justified. And even if I’m not, I don’t care. Tired of being polite.
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***BEWARE! CHRISTMAS SCAM***
There are people out there posting "I am not giving Christmas cards this year, instead I am donating to charity" on Facebook.
This is a scam. They ARE sending cards, just not to you because they think you're a twat 😬
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@fesshole
I think you're more weird for wearing your watch on your dominant arm if I'm honest.
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Got an early Christmas present today.
A promotion!
Glad I went to the team Christmas lunch now 😊
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Snail race!
Please RT to attract more silly beggars to play 😊
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Have to be honest.
@BBCRadio2
I’m not enjoying the Scott Mills slot. I miss Steve Wright. The genre of music played is more akin to a blimmin nightclub. If I wanted Radio1, I’d tune in there.
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I've said it before but I just don't understand the point of a hot tub. A load of adults sat in a big bath in the garden, trying hard not to accidentally touch them with your foot whilst you all shed skin together. *heaves*
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My poor sister has been feeling unwell and went to the doc about tests for peri-menopause. Doc was very efficient; sent off bloods and asked for a pregnancy test. Turns out, at the age of 45 and 3 x failed IVF attempts, she is having a baby, due in August.
Over the moon! 🥰🥰
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Well I didn't think I'd be heading into 2024 as a single woman but here we are. Jealousy is a terrible trait and I'm not dulling my shine just to feed an ego.
Here we go again...onwards and upwards Burt!
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Four months of retaining a three stone weight loss. I may sound like a broken record but I'm dead proud of myself...maintaining weight is much harder than losing it. Unfollow if you like, I won't be offended, I'll still continue to like myself regardless 💋
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3lb to go and I've lost 3 stone since last February. Mind you, that was during my 'making biscuits and then eating them all stage' which was probably a life highlight and will be going into my biography.
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@AndyKnott65
Oh I'm so sorry to read this but so pleased he went in his own time and in his own way. Aren't we so so lucky to have had them grace us with their presence 😊
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I started a new chapter as a woman today. Insignificant for some but for me it’s huge and I don’t mind admitting I’m nervous and a bit scared, but hopeful too. Can we all pray to the HRT gods that it works please. Fanks friends x
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After six hours in A&E last night with a suspected stroke/TIA I discovered that I may have had a hemiplegic migraine which has very similar symptoms to a stroke. I was absolutely petrified and I'm very relieved it wasn't anything more serious.
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The truth of the matter is, that as long as I have my best friend and Billy Ocean in my life, I'll be fine.
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Which famous person do you have an irrational dislike of?
Gregg Wallace is mine. Sure he’s a lovely chap, but no.
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To quote Kathy Burke, 'most men would fuck a ham sandwich'
I'm not sure this is completely true, but let's have a heated debate about it anyway 😊
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Man sitting in the cinema next to me just looked at me like I've got two heads because I'm here by myself.
Twat.
I hope he's slyly reading this as I type too so he sees 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼
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No more feeling down today. I’ve moved past the thought that he was my future. I’m my future.
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The ex-marine is a no go. He said today he wants more babies, I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Never mind.
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Slightly surreal moment but I've just seen an old boss on a swinger programme 👀👀👀
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