How to make checking model assumptions more fun: put googly eyes on your graphs:

I was supposed to get old with him, and I’m really fucking pissed that isn’t going to happen. But I’m trying to take his life view with me as I age. If there is just one way to choose to honor his memory, it’s to live the shit out of all the moments we have left.

Each birthday after the diagnosis was a solid “fuck you” to cancer (eventually the bakery stopped letting me put that on the cakes—policy change or something 👎). He used to say “getting old is a gift.”.

Although he rarely felt truly good while going through treatments, he was nevertheless grateful for every minute he got to be with his family, do his work, and enjoy the small things he had left (like his Final Fantasy 14 community). He lived the shit out of the 6 years he had.

I was always impressed that Jon stayed as committed as he did to fighting, as cancer took little bites.out of his body and his enjoyment of life. Not that he was always positive about it. Cancer center staff would ask him how he was and he’d respond with a shrug “I’m here”.

7 years ago today was the day we got @jmhenner’s melanoma diagnosis. The remembered emotions are still strong—the stillness, and coldness, then fear, and the need to take action Right Now. Turned out to be more of a marathon than a sprint, but we ran it.

To be clear I do mostly eat lunch but my ADHD was ADHDing *hard* and lunch just kept getting pushed back. But I did it!.

Ate lunch today! Yessssss 🙌.

Found the last breakfast sandwich for the wee one’s breakfast in the back of the freezer?.Nice one! 👍.

Shit is hard, so I am going to start giving myself mental celebrations for the smaller things. Put my shirt on right way around? Wooohooo!🥳 . Remembered a 10-digit phone number long enough to enter it in my phone?.Awesome work! 🌟. Missing @jmhenner a lot.

Image description: 3 candles sit in a glass pie dish on the grill of a gas stovetop. The two in front have the @jmhenner twitter quote “There. Is. Motherfucking. Dignity. In. All. Ways. Of. Languaging.” The one in the back, for Jon’s grandmother, says “yahrzeit memorial candle”

One year since @jmhenner left us. I never wanted to have this kind of anniversary, but the amount of love I’ve received today eases the pain a little. Many are lighting candles in Jon’s memory—if you like, share photos of your candle (with image descriptions) on this thread.

RT @RacheGabriel: 📨. shipped about 50 of these over the weekend. They'll make it in time if you order by Wednesday the 7th!.

I asked @jmhenner to keep an eye out for @mchua yesterday, knowing they were nearing their time of transition. They bonded as deafies fighting cancer, along with @jaceyhill. I’m glad Mel and Jon can hang out again. They can have cake with Jon’s grandparents.

I cannot believe I have lived on this earth almost a year without @jmhenner. Some wonderful friends have created a memorial candle folks can buy and light on 8/14. It would mean a lot to our family to know folks are celebrating with us.

#nad2024 is the real hashtag :-).

At #nad57 conference to receive an award for @jmhenner. In the hotel with the family—if you’re around and know me/knew Jon, come find me at the Opening Ceremony!.

I am happy not to be cleaning any bodily fluids this week. Food is here, and it smells great, so I will eat it and watch Bridgerton and try to distract myself from missing the kids, and Jon, and the kitties, and my space. At least I have my fiber (crochet project this trip).

Also heard a distant siren and thought it was the cat yowling. I may get why Jon missed the little fluffballs so much when we traveled. His pair-bonded cat sleeps on my chest most nights now. We both miss him.

We had some really nice times in the rooms in NYC and Austin when we were visiting Sloan Kettering and MD Anderson. Good food, too. I’m trying to be culinarily adventurous, as he would have been. Trying a place that markets itself as “Mediterranean street food”.

First time staying outside my house without the kids since @jmhenner died (work trip, kids @ my parents). Feeling sadder than I expected, mixed with excitement for time that is strictly mine. Keep thinking how Jon would have enjoyed the hotel room I’m in.