Please enjoy this big lump with knobs in your next session 🌽 #corntok #dnd #cornkid

waddup in Feyre I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read.

a genderfluid drag queen named Synovial Fluid

*bricks ur key* me: are u mad at me

I asked my husband to name a woman and he said former Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

take a bite of an apple and tell me you don’t feel like a horse having a little treat

it’s midnight. you’re having a sit down shower and chuckling about the dog you invented named Salad

I love watching my friends succeed 💞Look at all these adoptable sticker friends from @scxrlet64 ‘s shop! My fave is the This Is Fine Smores dragon. I need to find the perfect place to put him

MY DIETICIAN PULLED AN UNO REVERSE AND ASKED IF IVE HEARD OF GIRL DINNER sdfghkklshsfafywwvsnsg

I thought Mystra would be hotter.

Ask and you shall receive @theplaymatt

Leg Lasso

For your consideration, Legolasso

I’m about to be so snug as a bug and you literally cannot stop me

me, to my dietician: well, have you ever heard of Girl Dinner?

I had to

oops I spent 6 hours playing my game and forgot about my laundry (4/4)

Ooooo I want to play my game. *sits down in front of computer* Oh yeah my headphones 🧵 (3/3)

Oh there’s some dog hair dust bunnies - I should vacuum. While I’m vacuuming, I should mop. I need to toss the mop head into the wash so I might as well throw some other things in and start a load of laundry. 🧵 (2/3)

Adhd brain: *sits down in front of my computer to play a game* oh yeah my headphones are charging in the living room *goes to the living room* 🧵 (1/)

Volo’s Guide To Lobotomy 👁️