“i love cheating. when i grow up i want to steal and be a robber.”

You're going to need to be unconscious from 2-6pm today. Your choice how you do it, but you definitely won't want to be awake for this.

I love you when we’re together, I love you when we’re apart

didn’t ask + don’t care + go my isopods ([[[[){ ([[[[){ ([[[[){ ([[[[){ ([[[[){ ([[[[){ ([[[[){

Movie theaters should go back to kicking people out who use their phones. That was a good thing.

cooking sober - well this fucking sucks . what the fuck cooking drunk- haha fuck yeah !! Yes !!! I am like the rat from Ratatouille

phone will never be as good as laptop for the simple reason that i need to be able to play 3 different asmr videos & a podcast simultaneously

it’s all about mindset 💪🏻

hmmm

me age 13: been getting really into vampires lately me age 18: i can’t remember the last time i’ve felt genuine happiness me age 26: been getting really into vampires lately

no emojis for giacomo?

ASMR hitting you with a rock

like that’s wednesday’s problem 😌

i love to call in sick at 2am and immediately turn teams notifications off

happy stardew update day to all those who observe 🥰

depressing to see that most climate scientists stress the need for immediate action and stress that “doomerism” isn’t helpful, yet people still decide to be doomers—while citing the same data that those scientists are using to encourage proactive solutions.

i’m so fuckin salty about all the TEACHERS who show up on BOOK CHARACTER DAY dressed in regular-ass not-book halloween costumes

lunch today: can of redbull ✅ one tortilla chip ✅

rocky!

my cuticle is stained from jello shots lmaooo

I must be a child left behind the way this bush got me acting stupid