dr. cumuncher
@cumuncher
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5,963
Following
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Statuses
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mutual lover, pill crusher, cumuncher
LA
Joined December 2014
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Last Seen Profiles
too late
One of my least-liked design elements of suburban design is this inaccessible landing I see in foyers.
Any creative solutions for "staging" it out there?
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telling my one night stand to pick a special prize before leaving
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too drunk to drive implies there is a level of drunk that is perfect for driving
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every single evening at 5pm i have to decide how the rest of my night will go
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got a photo sticker printer for christmas time to print my favorite tweets
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'girthmaster' this 'girthmaster' that... i need the BIRTHmaster someone get me pregnant
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ranking my mental disorders
1. adderall addiction
2. stealing from target
3. juul user
4. acid flashbacks
5. listening to trippie redd
6. 10pm bedtime or else
7. urges to drink the floodwater
8. moldy cup in room
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you run the animal account Bitch you tell me
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i think now is the perfect time to give this one another shot
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men hate it when i sit pretzel style while using cruise control
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if you're gonna hit on me do it in replies. say it with your chest. enough of these dms. in the town square, like god intended.
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idk. it's just that your brain cells look like stars in the sky and there's so much beauty in being alive.
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i dont care what squirt is either way im fucking her til she pees
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every woman who works at a smoke shop looks like a goddess on earth and every man who works at a smoke shop looks like he did too few stints in rehab
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all men want is a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket
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me: Do you guys know how to whip? Dan: Okay Phil you're driving an automobile
@danisnotonfire
@AmazingPhil
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i have never met a polish man who still has the light behind his eyes.
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this google search result is how you know you're having fun
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@heroindefeater
"im gonna bust" last time i will ever hook up wth anyone not at least 1 year older than me
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my favorite twitter interaction is this guy who has been occasionally sending me nature pics for 4 months
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whaddup, i'm 23, addicted to drugs for hyperactive second graders, watch gore porn, and drink my morning coffee iced with whipped cream. dtf?
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Can i come over and make you uncomfortable can i come over and crawl around in your wals and climb up your chimney and hide my fingernails under your pillow
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obsessed with chat gpt's diagram of mouse cisterna magna.
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hey wanna come over and watch this parkour death compilation liveleak i found in a github repository?
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ripping her iud out with my teeth and running into the corner and chewing on it like a dog
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UTIs go away on their own if your heart is pure and your intentions clear
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i hate it when people drive below the speed limit like how are you meandering in a fucking vehicle
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personality pic
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one year ago today i missed one of my finals because i had taken 6 times my dose of vyvanse and was up for 3 days. i walked in 30 minutes late and had to tell my professor i couldn't take it, and he gave me another day. in 2022, everyone gave me patience and love and support that…
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Santa tried putting me under your tree but you already had too many bitches
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when the vape starts tasting like every single morning for the past 7 years and the next 45 years
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i really want to show off this necklace i got it's coyote teeth & uranium glass
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sending the HR department a notes app apology for showing up to work drunk and getting the 19 year old intern addicted to cocaine
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