Tik tok down today is like black hawk down then.

Tomorrow’s fight sounds like there’s 4 fighters and not just 2 , doesn’t it?! Mike and Tyson / Jake and Paul.

Join millions who have switched to Grok.

I hope @stoolpresidente starts doing barstool weed reviews in random states/cities- “1 puff, everyone knows the rules” #barstool #letsgo #weed.

Shouldn’t a meme be about yourself? I mean it says me-me.

I don’t walk very well at all, keep in mind, @elonmusk has not implanted my Neuralink yet, so “stand by”.

I think Biden is dropping out,Trump may have been shot,and OJ Simpson might have died,in other news….

In high school I didn’t think I liked learning about rocks, but because of IG, and a very good looking blonde telling me about rocks with a accent, I love rocks now.

It’s crazy how @survivorcbs grand prize hasn’t gone up with inflation.

So 7.7 billion only covers roughly 2-3 college football stadiums full of students? Thats crazy.

Everyone is flying @FlyFrontier and @SpiritAirlines now because these airlines can’t afford a @BoeingAirplanes.

A old girlfriend of mine told me I look like Paul Walker,at 1st I thought it was a compliment,because Paul Walker is hot,but then I realized,Paul Walker is dead,and she thinks I look dead,and she’s not wrong #comedy #dead #standupcomedy #single #singleaf.

I heard the Air Force was gaslighting people but damn.

These Alabama embryos are really going to throw a wrench in census this year.

What’s up love birds?! Want to do something nice for your girl? Welll bring her, and all of your collective friends to laugh with me and all these funny people tomorrow night! All the info is on the flyer @bassilkamas @thewokstar @taxicabsamurai #spencermurrish #comedy #jokes

I guess deal or no deal is on Epstein island now?.

When you lose a hand, you automatically become AMP·bi·dex·trous.#comedy #jokes #amputeelife.

I was at the store today and a group of ladies came over frantically and asked if I was @brittneyspears Dad #amputeelife #amputee #comedy.

Do you think if @MichaelVick was in a horrible accident and lost his eye sight, that anybody would give him a dog?.