Ultimately I do not have the killer instinct. When I am trying to fall asleep and there is a mosquito buzzing around me and I get up to try to kill him I start to feel so evil for what I am aiming to do. Why does my sleep matter more than his life. Just eat me alive I guess.

We get the health gurus we deserve

Thinking about how Wim Hof was meeting his estranged son in a public park and while waiting for him to show up decided to give himself an enema with the park fountain and the fountain was so strong it shot through his intestines like a knife and almost killed him.

Postcard from the Algarve

fresh face no makeup hair curly from sea salt… that’s The Look

So I changed my mind last minute and named her after one of my favorite painters, artemisia gentileschi, who was about as brave as they come. Anyways I’ll be obsessed with her always and forever, even when she eats plastic and throws it up on the silk rugs

I had picked out a different name for her, but when I picked her up she was SO fearless. She did not go and hide and get accustomed to the space at all. She was climbing all over the furniture, me, into the chimney (see soot covered baby misi below) on day 1

5 years ago today I got Artemis. I was 22 years old and had no idea what I was getting myself into, but she has changed my life for the better in ways I couldn’t even have imagined

-correct .-what does this even mean .-no.-no.

September is pretty depressing, someone should write a song about it.

Happy holidays to all the laborers out there

Btw you will also live to see natural beauties beyond your comprehension

Pmdd and family vacation. The perfect storm.

Did this for my housewarming party but just left the cookies by the door in a Tupperware with a note. my neighbors never said anything to us so I assumed they never got it. Then they texted us a month later to ask if we had taken their package 🫠.

My body is more lukewarm water but my heart is tea. My mind is tea. My taste is tea.

My parents grew up in a communist country and music was only played on the radio one hour a week and the same song always played first and I always assumed it was like some weird communist song but today my mom revealed it was The Final Countdown by Europe.

I don’t understand carryoncels. “Oooh look at me, I’m so efficient, I only packed a carry on for a 2 week trip overseas.” Well congrats, but I checked my bag for free and I won’t start to smell 5 days into my trip.

When are we getting esports for the delta inflight trivia game I think that could be life changing for me.

You have to be your own biggest competition 😤😤😤

I love when a dog is so tiny that it’s basically a kitten.