Knew naming him Meownuel Neuer was a mistake

This isn't a dig at Villa! Emery has done well there. More the xG Gods and how they will always collect their debts

As someone who lived through a lucky 22 game unbeaten run under the same manager then watched Watford take 31 shots against us, I'd advise against results-based football analysis

We’re looking for goalkeepers to take part in an upcoming video called ‘Every Time You Score, The Keeper Gets Taller’🧤 We need goalkeepers of the following heights: - 4’0 - 4’6 - 5’0 - 5’6 - 6’0 - 6’6 All ages are welcome, but you must be of exactly one of the heights listed

Now Ginge is king he can make people Sirs and Dames by laying a sword on their shoulders and shouting ‘YAKNIGHTED!’

As easy as it is to get distracted by @ItalianBach's Wii Bowling masterclass, this video has a big mental health focus. We're fundraising for Suicide Prevention as part of @jinglejam for @theCALMzone. You never know who needs to hear that there is ALWAYS help and hope out

Generational refresh pull

8 footballs, all totally identical, except for 4 of them actually being cake. Sensational viewing for everyone except the baker

I remember my Dad saying to me in 2010 to watch as many Barcelona games and as much of Messi as I possibly could for these years, because we'll look back and wish we were there for every minute of him on a football pitch. 15 years on, after catching as many of the Sunday evening

He’s fantasising about Ollie and the hydraulic press again isn’t he

New Hinge profile pic x

Took my friends fishing to share a life-long hobby and some wholesome memories together! Note to self - hide the alcohol next time

Had a pretty surreal Sunday in a 4x4m space with Michael McIntyre and Gary Lineker. Producers did an unbelievably good job of making us think the match was won by Spurs. First NLD I’ve missed since gaining consciousness, and I’ll not be setting up camp in here every

Happy anniversary to all who celebrate

Your mate getting shat on by a seagull was always a 'why wasn't it caught on camera' moment...until now

30 WOMEN VS 1 YOUTUBER: Football Edition will be hitting your screens tonight. A terrifying prospect fit for this evening 👻

Had to write this entirely using speech-to-text because my hands are still locked in the Gyokeres celebration. I think we’re winning the quadruple this Hello Chris your Amazon order of hemorrhoid suppositories is on its way no Siri off Siri I said off off

https://t.co/OY8iXHRLDP

Even easier for my editors after I clipped any close up shots of him in those trousers already for personal use

Don’t worry about ordering in dinner tonight - you’ve just been fed