sara(h)
@chaoticcoochie
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9,926
Following
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Statuses
53,813
barely gripping onto existence | she/her
Aspen, CO
Joined August 2011
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LOVTITUDE FANMEETING
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americas like "okay here are your two presidential nominees!"
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WHO KEEPS COMMENTING “DADDY” ON DR PHIL’S TIKTOK????? I CANT BREATHE
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@CornHairX
I agree that 18 might be too young for sex work but can we all maybe stop blaming the teens who want to be comfortable and open with expressing their sexuality and instead vilify the actual pedos that make it unsafe in the first place? JUST A THOUGHT
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@howieb1ing
the devil works hard but Adam Sandler with an agenda for revenge works even harder
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@Medina_Ldn
honestly though it’s really crazy how even though they’re so close in color, one could make me look like a goddess while the other could make me look like a clown
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FOR THOSE IN/NEAR NYC THAT AREN'T SURE WHERE TO GATHER:
THERE IS A PROTEST PLANNED FOR TOMORROW, FRIDAY MAY 29TH, AT 6PM OUTSIDE THE BARCLAY'S CENTER IN BROOKLYN.
THERE IS A PROTEST PLANNED FOR SATURDAY, MAY 30TH, AT 1PM ON 125TH ST & ADAM CLAYTON POWELL BLVD IN HARLEM.
RT!!
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@asteroIogy
I don’t like ned (always gave me pretentious Yale frat boy vibes) but still didn’t really believe it UNTIL someone said Alex’s fiancé deleted all the pictures of them together on his IG and YB/Ned unfollowed Alex on IG too? Something deffo happened
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how come I got labeled a slut in high school because I sucked ONE dick (1) in the non fiction section of the public library and got caught by a student aid, but all the cool girls could go around having orgies in the town church & its just ~what they do~
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@TEXASTITTIE
she really dropped this scene then dropped a historic pop girlie album then went to get her phd. an icon
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people really chop a tree down to watch it decay when you could just ask the most depressed sibling to sit in the living room for 2 months
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can we please put a ban on influencer poetry......please....im begging
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after watching this I am adding jesse eisenberg to my list of nerdy looking white men I find exceedingly attractive.
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me laying in bed waiting for him to bring over the cum towel
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Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are twin flames and will find eachother again later in life and you literally cannot convince me otherwise
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i love Lana but baby should’ve just sat there and snorted her coke smh
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im 24, my credit score is atrocious, i have student loans and no degree, my mental health is off the walls, I have a mild drug & alcohol addiction, i can’t whistle, and i like nickelback. who want me.
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I love Finn and Paige but we ALL know that Luke T and Siannise deserved the w and that’s that on THAT
#LoveIsland
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me pointing my gun at all the white supremacists during civil war 2.0
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a man hurt my feelings today so I had to remind myself that I am, in fact, a bad bitch
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intellects know to starve yourself all day so you spend less money on drinks
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
Eat first!!!!!! Before you get drunk!!!
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“my boyfriend and i are 21 and we just bought our dream home after combining our $1200 stimulus checks. stop being lazy.”
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My freshman year of college I was supposed to get into this sorority but my “big” found out I slept with someone she liked the day before recruitment and turned the hole sorority against me. So what did I do? I fucked him again.
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I don’t believe in the institution of marriage but if you see me walking down the street with this on one day just mind ya business ok
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half of us on depressed twitter wanna die anyways might as well die fighting for black lives
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I might be a huge fucking whore but at least I never fucked a cop. I have standards.
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Barney really didn’t have to flex with “If You’re Happy And You Know It,” like we get it dude you don’t have depression, congrats
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a man doesn’t want me? let me cry for 20 minutes and then cease to have feelings for anyone for another 3 years
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some bitch on local facebook keeps complaining about how the state needs to reopen and I’m .2 seconds away from reminding everyone in her comments that she dated her stepbrother in high school therefore any opinion she has is null and void
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a dirty slut here to remind you that if you’re going to be a dirty slut you should get tested every 3-6 months or after every new/random partner. love u stay slutty
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im not built for this dating life anymore like how do you even speak to men
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that time I drunkenly fucked a guy in his bathroom and he couldn’t properly get dick in me so I chalked it up to my pussy just being ~soooo tight~ & then I woke up the next morning & realized we were trying to fuck with my tampon still inside me
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if biden wins I’ll start doing coke again :) but if trump wins I’ll start doing coke again :/
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I'll never forget the time I had crazy sex/did an absurd amount of drugs with a random guy I had just met at bar & the next day I went to meet my mom at the same place for dinner & when I got in I saw them talking... turns out it was her old boss LMFAO
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@jamal_nasirr
meanwhile I’ll buy everyone full 3 course meals, leave a 30% tip and be left with $1.39 in my bank acct then say “don’t even worry about it just get me next time”
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I Just Want Mozzarella Sticks and a Nice Dick Attached to a Man that Wants to Love and Care for Me: A Novel
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4 years ago when Donald Trump won, it rained for a week straight. This weekend is warm and sunny. Even Mother Nature knows dude.
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the same trauma I felt when I found out Tame Impala is one indie man vibing in a studio and not multiple indie dudes vibing in a studio
just found out bon iver is a full ass band and not just the name of a random indie singer. no one talk to me.
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picture this:
its 2009. the recession just fully hit & your parents are yelling abt divorce upstairs. you turn on the tv & gordon ramsay is in his prime yelling on hells kitchen about a shitty risotto. your body dysmorphia is yelling about how fat you are. why is everyone yelli-
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@heavybagofbones
@donaldplump666
when there’s only you and another person left waiting and their ride comes first
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"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."
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how quickly they switch up (we talked for literally a week max)
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this boy on tinder just told me he’s never heard cigarette daydreams before
im tired of this place y’all
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this man is really driving a whole hour to see me, buying us a hotel room and insisting that I’m not spending anything on dinner and drinks...............I gotta dust off this glug glug 3000
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@DaShaunLH
they gave her few too many seconds for my liking......why’d they have to go and stop the whole damn music video so this girl could, not dance nor sing, nor preform, but just.....walk? I’m tired
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thinkin about how one time I was pissed I didn’t get laid after a date so I struck up a convo with a hot dude on the subway telling him about how mad I was...long story short we ended up getting off at a random stop in brooklyn, broke into a backyard, & fucked in a garden
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guys I’m rewatching jersey shore and you’ll never believe who was really behind the letter to sammy
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anyone else remember the first time they squirted? mine was in the springtime, right after a breakup, with a 35 year old bisexual lawyer in his penthouse apartment that I met after doing coke in the bathroom of a karaoke spot in midtown. it was a religious experience.
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jennifer. baby. your first mistake is assuming we have a man to begin with. your second mistake is those eyelashes.
mee when y’all girls really think your man is being loyal to you 🥴 he in my dm love
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@internetdad69
I served him at a restaurant in Manhattan one time and yes, he’s just as annoying as you’d think he’d be
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one time mark ruffalo left his grocery bag at my job and it had almond milk, watermelon juice & fresh spinach in it and my boss let me take it home cause he never came back for it. so yes I did in fact eat mark ruffalo’s groceries
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@dirtyspacequeen
for those trying to do this on a first date but can’t lug around a whole ass game, there was a study done in the NYT a few years back with 36 questions proven to effectively connect strangers; every person I’ve finished it with I’ve dated long term!
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someone on tiktok said the true test is asking your girlfriend if she knows who this is and I CACKLED
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@Swagl331Sp3ak
@StewartMullings
people also express their sexuality by practicing safe sex with as many people as they please, and some find power in controlling and producing legal, profitable adult material. It’s fucking 2020 dude, sexuality isn’t in a box/taboo anymore. who cares if it’s not hurting anyone?
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guys I have a 🤮 DATE 🤮 on Saturday like 🤮 who am I 🤮 having FEELINGS 🤮 and risking my hot girl summer 🤮 I can’t
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she’s not rubbing herself off to your sexts bro she’s been picking at an ingrown hair for the past half hour
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think I’m gunna do a crazy unfollow in the next few days, my TL is too insane. like this or dm me if you wanna stay moots 🥺👉🏼👈🏼
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reminiscing about the night I met an older man at the bar who bought me drinks all night then pulled out a ziplock bag of coke after I sucked his dick in the bathroom. after we hopped on his motorcycle, he bought a nice hotel, we fucked, then he left & told me to enjoy the room
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this is a lot to handle for a Thursday night
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everyone keeps saying “go out & vote!!!” but bro like who the FUCK are we supposed to be voting for???
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once I walked into a tequila bar right before they closed & randomly met the owner & proceeded to do coke w him in the bathroom, he had the live band stay & play music for me even though I was the only person left, he ate me out in his office then wanted to take me home but I ✌🏼
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HER 👏🏼 NAME 👏🏼 IS 👏🏼 SHANNA 👏🏼 IT 👏🏼 RHYMES 👏🏼 WITH 👏🏼 BANANA 👏🏼
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