Cake
@cakeinacrisis_
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l Author of Raw Cake l Fine Art/Hybrid Artist l Chronicling the Human Experience in Raw Format l
Joined March 2019
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Pinned Tweet
Husband secretly recorded me nude
Mother dying of lung cancer
I have 4 year old twins
I'm a fecking mess but I'm real about it. My whole identity was taken from me. I'm still learning who I am.
I think men are amazing & I still believe in love.
I've got that warrior soul.
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Men have more sexual jealousy
Women have more emotional jealousy
A woman cheating via sex hurts a man more than anything. A man having an emotional affair hurts a woman just as much. Same coin, different sides. Biology 🤷♀️
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This probably is an unpopular opinion but I believe your spouse should always come before your children.
When you put your children first, it can create resentment in the relationship & this will weaken the marriage & have an effect on the kids.
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I was shamed, by women, for not wanting to go out & have 1 night stands after I filed for divorce.
"You'll feel better", "you deserve to have fun", "why wouldn't you want to?"
Defeats the entire purpose of healing. Just bandaids filled w/ regret & diminished self worth
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Quit blaming women & just lead them!
Just freakin lead them.
Feminism is the result of women who were never led & are not being led.
We're past the point of pointing fingers. We just need some men to stand up & friggin lead us out of this mess.
Please 😭
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Why are people telling women they need to learn how to cook to secure a man?
Shouldn't ALL ADULTS know how to cook? You shouldn't learn how to cook to get a man, you should learn BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ADULTING IS.
Absolute sorcery in this clown world.
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WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL HAPPENED TO PEOPLE JUST SEEING THE GOOD IN THE OPPOSITE GENDER?
I was betrayed in the absolute worst way & guess what? I STILL F**KING LOVE MEN & DON'T BLAME THEIR GENDER FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.
Ugh. That felt good.
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We're in a tornado warning & the birds are being bizarre. There's thousands of them.. I've never seen anything like it
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Men.
I get the working on your bod & yourself to score chicks.
Advice: WORK ON YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
Make a girl laugh & you've just bypassed the other 5 men in her head.
Tips from Cake 🍰
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Why do men stop making a girl feel special once he has her?
Women need to feel desired in all stages of the relationship.
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Redpill men don't *really* hate women. They are in pain & their anger towards females dulls it. This is perpetuated by other men in pain saying this anger towards women is justified. They are like wounded animals.
Root causes of said pain are not the women that hurt you.
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Love is so cheapened nowadays, people have zero idea what it really means. Modernity says self gratification > self sacrifice.
Love IS altruistic. There is no self. You put someone else before your own desires, needs, wants...
Quit ruining each other by being selfish.
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The lion does not have to tell you over and over again how mean & ruthless he is. He does not have to trick his prey or taunt them. His presence alone is enough.
Cowards squeal, plot, & manipulate to survive. They will never be the lion.
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You have to remember, you are raising adults, not children. Let them see what a healthy relationship looks like so they can have one themselves someday.
Healthy, is putting each other first.
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Femininity is not:
- taking digs at other women/demeaning other woman
- bragging about all you can do
- dependent on wearing heels/dresses/makeup
- passive aggressive behavior towards others w/ condescending remarks
These things make you a bitch, not feminine 🤷♀️
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Another problem with putting your child before your spouse is that it makes the child believe they are the center of the universe and thus creates the entitled teen/adult.
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If men fail, we all fail.
We need leadership, from micro to macro. From the individual to the nuclear family to the community to the country.
Too many men are giving up. Men w/ integrity, strength, & the fortitude to challenge their peers productively need more encouragement.
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Good people exist. They're the ones with no agendas.
No ebook or "groups" you have to pay to be a part of.
They check in on you with no expectations in return. They offer encouragement when warranted.
You get to keep your soul. For free.
Because they believe in you.
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Research shows people think children are what makes a happy life over a good marriage. Guess what? Those children grow up & things aren't always rainbows & unicorns. Then, they leave the house...& you're left wth a stranger you've neglected for 18 years.
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The secret to having more power/influence in your marriage as a wife, is to give your husband unconditional respect.
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Tips for men:
Please don't believe all women care about is the success you have.
A true feminine woman cares not about success but how valiant you are, if you stay true to yourself, if you are genuine & not ego led..
Failure won't turn a good woman away if you do the above
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A man who has not properly dealt with his insecurities (internally, not externally) is one of the leading causes of failed relationships.
This isn't talked about enough.
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Everyone is laughing at you right now.
Let this be your motivation to put your false persona(s) to the side.
Quit trying to fit in.
Be you.
Takes courage. Takes reflection. Takes egocentric assholes judging you but ffs, be yourself.
You have 1 life.
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Your spouse needs support, too. The foundation in which your family was built on becomes broken if you are only concerned about your childs happiness & not the well-being of the spouse that works hard to provide for the family.
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Men, never ever forget to tell your woman how beautiful she is. With sincerity.
Especially if you're long term.
Your relationship will benefit if she feels like a goddess.
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My hs superintendent has died from the virus.
His wife of 40+ yrs has been told to isolate at home bc of exposure... She just lost her spouse & can't even get a damn hug. For 14 days. Alone w/ that grief is catastrophic.
Your problems aren't that bad.
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All those shitty relationships you've had is the brain (or the universe) forcing you to work through some of that childhood trauma.
We are drawn to what we know; abandonment as a child
-> unavailable partner
Gotta master thyself for a healthy relationship.
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Self-improvement Twitter is a funny thing...
You've got:
-Divorced men failing to mention the plates they spin are actual plates from the Saturday night all you can eat buffet at wok & roll.
-Metasomethings spiraling out from bad shrooms or bc Mercury is in Gatorade.
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In Dante's Inferno, someone who betrays their loved ones is sent to the 9th circle of hell where Lucifer himself resides. The betrayers become stuck in a frozen lake created by Lucifer's tears. Fitting for those who have ice cold hearts.
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It's fascinating to watch a woman w/ no identity take on a diff persona when she's become the object of a man's interest.
She morphs into this creature mimicking what he most values as though that's who she's been all along.
Like shape shifters.
What a waste of a soul.
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Just because daddy didn't love you doesn't mean you need to burn it all down.
Life gives zero shits about who did you wrong and it has no room for victims.
Do better. Be better. Or, end up miserable & alone. Choices
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I know some great thinkers who have been saying this for a very long time... 💅
Glad it's picking up traction.
Nihilism has precipitated the greatest crisis in human history
In the 20th century, nihilistic themes--epistemological failure, value destruction, and cosmic purposelessness--have preoccupied artists, social critics, and philosophers
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Men need other men. Don't make the man in your life feel guilty for hanging with the bros. If you keep him chained up your relationship WILL suffer & so will you.
& men, don't give her a reason to not trust you 😉
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All these non-feminine women men despise are a result from lack of masculine fathers & the plate spinners who use them as objects to practice their moves on.
Buncha hurt women let down by men. Stop sleeping around. Grow up. Learn true masculinity & patriarchy. Watch it change
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Sometimes I wonder if mercy is superior to justice. Gets me conflicted in which direction to take the things that have happened to me. What if justice isn't meant to happen here on Earth & instead of seeking it we should focus on forgiving & have faith the Universe will handle?
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Allegory of the Cave
Chained, the prisoners were forced to watch shadows on the wall in front of them. Unable to turn & see the light behind them causing these shadows, their reality became based on perception.
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More people should tell their stories.
Screw society's taboos; pretending there's no evil in the world.
Overcome your shame. Be liberated. Don't be silenced.
Silence is like a cancer - slowly eating at you until you are near death, wishing you'd have told your story.
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Nobody ever tells you how much loneliness hurts.
You should be happy with yourself yaddayadda.. no.
Self-pity? Probably. Grief? Yes. Human? Very.
This too shall pass. & then come again. & then pass. Cycles like the moon
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maybe Americans should start paying attention to the atrocities happening in their own country
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I wonder if some of these men saying single moms are destined to screw up their sons life have ever thought about giving single moms advice instead of making them feel horrible about their situations?
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Social media is built on manipulating our deep pining for acceptance.
People will do anything on social media for approval; vilifying the wrongly accused, pandering to influencers, & betraying their morals.
Just to belong.
Society's problems run deep.
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@RachelBock9
@alpharivelino
This can go one of two ways (rivelino's jealousy tweet):
1) it will cause insecurities in some women & these insecurities will rear their heads & affect the relationship
2) it will cause the woman who knows her worth to find a secure man that doesn't play games
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Back in the 19th century, men were judged by their character; their virtues were what defined them.
Now, men are judged & defined by what they have, what color they are, how they look, how "alpha" they are.
A man's character is what his life is built on. Not his personality.
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Too many people compromising their integrity.
For what?
For a following count? For money? For companionship?
To feel?
To feel liked? To feel successful? To feel wanted?
Your soul knows nothing of your popularity & bank accounts. Just the routes taken to obtain them.
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I don't have to agree with your thoughts, actions, & morals but if you show 100% loyalty, I give you that respect back.
Loyalty is a rarity these days. I want ride or die humans in my tribe. No room for cowards & those that are quick to bail.
I know betrayal. Never again
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I have mad respect for a woman that can be challenged gracefully by another woman.
Most can't handle it. They'll run to their group of insecure enablers & say you're a mean girl.
It almost makes me understand why men say we're just like children.
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I was coddled for a bit after my life imploded & then had a dear friend tell me that was enough. I needed to quit the pity party, suck that s*it up, & do something about it & that's when my life changed for the better.
Don't confuse tough love w/ insincerity while healing
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You know, I'm really not happy about my tax dollars going to sending thousands of national guard to DC while many of my fellow Americans lost their livelihoods (& some lost their lives) during the riots. There was zero protection for these citizens. What a slap in the face.
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Being able to read humans is a highly underrated skill.
Both empathetic & manipulative people can do this.
You can be one, the other, or both.
Being both is a superpower.
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We need more men out there who don't project their pain, who take responsibility instead of blame, who see women as more than objects & vapid tree branch swingers, & who genuinely want better for both genders.
They are the real MVP's
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I'm scared.
Cakey is scared.
I thought I'd been through some shit but it seems that was just the pop quiz.
I'm a woman- full of chaos, not meant to know order.
If you have a good man right now taking care of things, appreciate the hell outta him.
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It's been 2 years, today, that I've not been intimate w/ a man...
This is taboo to talk about, but you all know the Cake.. she bares all.
I've choosen to heal instead of making the voids larger.
I also know my worth & that makes all of the difference in the world.
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Nobody wins whatever game is going on right now in America.
It's like a divorce. Nobody wins.
Especially not the kids.
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I am of the belief that true masculininity resides in the man who wants to see women (& men) flourish in life.
Men are at their best when they not only want, but help guide women (& men) towards thriving by honoring them, supporting their aspirations, & lifting them up.
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You know what I never see mentioned when dehumanizing single moms?
The rise of pathologies amongst men (namely cluster B disorders).
Cluster B disorders include narcissism, sociopathy, & psychopathy amongst others.
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If the essence of pain is actually the fear of pain then the response should be to go into the center of that fear.
When you get to the center of that fear you'll find it's all been a deception. You create what you believe, therefore pain is an illusion.
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I have ruffled so many female feathers with my tweet about married wahmen posting selfies..
& this is how the female brain works. We hear what we want to hear, take things as personal, & passive aggressively pout (bc we skipped the logic).
I do it, too. That's how I know...
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Vulnerability is so attractive.
The men who see this as a weakness have low self-esteem & attract women w/ low self-esteem.
You can't be vulnerable w/ a female if you're not vulnerable w/ yourself.
Magjik
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The Platitude Thot: a woman in the self-improvement sphere who regurgitates ridiculous beliefs from men regarding the "roles" of a woman so she can get that attention seeking dopamine hit.
These are the most deceptive thots.
Beware
🍰
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death is inevitable & the only way you'll influence generations to come is through your words.
writing is where the most abundant substance for any kind of moral reflection is found.
write.
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Here are 2 kids that love their country & will learn to honor it, its leaders, & its history. 🇺🇸
Sick of seeing the negative narratives.
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A good man can be a bad husband & a good woman can be a bad wife.
They can mistakenly assume that bc there's no abuse, they're a good spouse. They become selfish in the little things & stagnant in the journey.
Being a good spouse is more than submitting & leading.
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Abraham Lincoln:
- born to a poor family
- his mom died when he was 9 & his father was cruel
- started a business that failed
- fell in love but the girl died
- got married; 3 of his 4 sons died before adulthood
- became president
Perspective. Keep getting up after defeat
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I gave CPR to a dying man, once.
I broke his rib doing compressions while grown men stood around me and just watched.
He didn't make it.
Survivor's guilt ate me alive for a while.
My first taste of resiliency.
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I paint sunrises when the anger has nowhere to go.
Would recommend.
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We should be teaching young men how to prepare for their future "paternal" role & the values/responsibilities that come with it but instead, they're being taught how to sleep with chicks.
Too many reach adulthood still stuck in a hedonistic teenage mindset bc of this. 🤦♀️
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The end goal is to cause mass despair but they're underestimating the human spirit.
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I will never forget that kindness for as long as I live.
Not one of us saw the other's color... we were just human beings to each other.
This sick narrative being pushed is an absolute tragedy for so many reasons.
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“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.”
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I didn't see a single human today & I am really ok with this.
It beat having to:
- be on the receiving end of silent treatment bc I existed
- lie to my mom so she wouldn't worry when the above was noticed (he's tired was my go to)
- dig deep to find anything to be thankful for
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A person commits a petty crime & gets locked up for years.
My ex secretly records me in the bath for yrs & the case gets dismissed due to an error from the district attorney.
The people that are supposed to provide justice failed me.
I won't be failed.
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No one will tell you how empowering grief can be after bringing you to your knees.
There's some kind of weird energy you get when you choose to wipe away the tears, stand back up, & continue on with your day, not looking back. You almost feel like you can take on the world.
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this is what betrayal trauma looks like when you get it out creatively.
write. do art. heal.
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People spend to much time thinking they need to work on their minds & muscles.
The heart is forgotten & that, my friends, is why we are living in a soulless society.
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My mom has had surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, & a year of immunotherapy for her lung cancer. Today is her last infusion of the immunotherapy, then.... nothing. Nothing to fall back on. For a year & a half there have been options. Now, the only options are faith & hope.
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6 mo after filing for divorce, I took the kids for brunch. It was mother's day & I was a mess.
A group of black men from a Baptist church were sitting next to us & one kept looking over at us & would smile.
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Teach your kids to use ma'am or sir when speaking to adults.
Learning respect & how to be polite at an early age will get them much further in life.
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Self improvement guru recites something we're supposed to learn in kindergarten & it gets 462 likes.
I think this disturbs me more than anything...
For a number of reasons.
We've got a long way to go, frens
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"What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one."
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Raise your kids to respect whoever is in office.
They don't have to like them or agree with them, but they need to respect them.
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I will never waste my time trying to prove my worth while you've got other chicks on speed dial.
I didn't dig myself out of hell for a man that makes me have to prove my worth against women who can't even string a sentence together.
If this happens, they're all yours. 🍰
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You all realize that those guys you're buying ebooks from to learn how to be men have numerous alts & talk to themselves all day, right?
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As a woman who has been burned badly by a man I'm confident in saying that when this happens we either turn to feminism (blame all men) or develop internalized misogyny (blame ourselves -> project onto other women).
These are bandaids, ya ding dongs.
HEAL
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Idk what it's going to take for people to understand that the system doesn't care about you. I am living it. You are a hindrance, a number. Arm yourselves *legally*. No one will save you but you.
A woman’s chilling pleas for help can be heard coming from a passing car in Leimert Park on this eerie doorbell video. LAPD says they couldn’t find evidence of a kidnapping last night, but this footage made them reopen the case
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Don't compromise your integrity to be accepted.
They don't care about you.
Even at your loneliest, staying true to yourself brings you a comfort that morphing into something you are not will never provide.
They don't care about you.
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Is it me or does self-improvement Twitter keep regurgitating the same stuff over & over? & it's all so generic. You can always tell who's actually been through some shit. They have passion behind their words.
I'm in an echo chamber, aren't I? Fek.
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When you don't acknowledge the spiritual aspect of your life & your relationships, everything you do will be based on your hedonistic animal instincts.
Half of this world's problems are bc people have forgotten the spiritual part of existence. We're more than beasts & biology.
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I really do believe there was a divine intervention & this is all a huge blessing in disguise.
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Teach your children how to think critically.
Or, they will believe everything they are told
& will end up a pawn
in this game of life.
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I can tell by all of those that are jumping ship, getting paranoid, & losing hope, that they've never actually been through hell.
I've seen Satan. I'm not scared. Let them try & gulag me.
So what?
I will never cower.
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@AJA_Cortes
It's also known as stonewalling & can be rather abusive.
& is one of the biggest predictors of divorce.
Use the silent treatment wisely...
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