caesararum, BS, DOGS
@caesararum
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Dropped Out of Grad School (DOGS) // maybe we could try writing good software? // assume replies are "yes, and"
Joined May 2009
when children get into the "why" phase, it is the dad's duty to step in and drive the children to exhaustion with explanations deeper than they could have expected. from this perspective, it's clear that mansplaining serves an obvious evolutionary function.
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low level programming
Today at the library I sang "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands" to the baby, and it seemed to activate some sort of mk ultra trigger in all the other babies/toddlers there. they all stopped what they were doing and stared and then started walking over slowly.
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I know why this is here, but it will never be not funny
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i know this video is about shoes and running, but the arrow should have probably ended up closer to the shoe itself
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Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. so, in a way, by being on twitter, we're like Jesus.
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once you learn how the sausage is made in your industry, some of the glamour falls away. once you've worked in three or five industries, you realize it's all sausage, humans have never produced anything that wasn't sausage, and if you think you see non-sausage— nope, sausage.
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my wife, who is asian, will insist our daughter's OUTER layers of clothes need to be thrown in the wash at the end of each day, because outside is dirty. i will insist our daughter's INNER layers of clothes (undershirts, etc) need to be thrown in the wash each day.
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a woman at the grocery store spent a full minute staring at these trying to figure out if they were normal nutella or some kind of weird variant. your clever redesign is someone else's source of stress
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stuck doing IT for life
When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?.
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look at your 14 closest friends. if none of them is a millionaire, it's you.
One out of every 15 Americans is a millionaire, UBS has said.
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Beautiful blonde wearing bikini with normal number of teeth standing on beach during sunset not too many teeth looking alluringly at the viewer please with the normal number of teeth.
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"Redditors who have eaten at the Times Square Olive Garden, why?"
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as someone who worked with tanks, . this is 100% accurate
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in 2012, Disney bought Star Wars, and (as I understand it) haven't yet profited from their $4Bn purchase price. In 2014, Microsoft bought Minecraft, and the money printer hasn't stopped spinning since then.
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i was the youngest in my family. there came a day where I was excited to do a thing: carve a pumpkin, dye eggs, go trick-or-treating, and I looked around and no one else in my family cared to participate in the "tradition". uniformly, these were the last times I did the things.
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you must be fun at parties (derogatory). you must be fun at parties (laudatory). you must be fun at parties (imperative).
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parents: talk to your kids about finite element analysis before someone else does.
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at least four different kinds of salt in this store. not a single one contains iodine. we're just eager to speedrun the "British sailors un-solved scurvy" approach, aren't we?
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"it's a good thing we stopped leading gasoline.". "yeah, except all small aircraft.". "wait, what?". so many cases of things like this.
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it surprised me that my daughter could recognize both of these toys as "pig" about as early as she could speak. and in turn made me wonder what facility allows us to recognize both these as pig
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Jorge Luis Borges: "In my short story "On Exactitude in Science" I invented the 1:1 scale map as a cautionary tale". Adobe: "At long last, we have created the 1:1 scale map from Borges' classic tale
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homeowners looking at loadbearing walls be all like
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a major gripe i have with US higher ed is probably one you haven't thought of. so, adjuncts. adjunct professors used to be roles open for e.g. people who were career professionals who wanted to give back by teaching a class or two in their spare time.
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"i have 10 years experience building stable, reliable, maintainable software systems". the software systems:
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problem 1: the US doesn't have the shipbuilding capacity it needs to support a modern navy. problem 2: the US is too dependent on fossil fuels and incapable of building civilian nuclear reactors . point 3: the navy is allowed to build reactors on ships. see where I'm going?.
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California told me wildfires keep burning down its neighborhoods so I asked how it's mitigating wildfires and it said it just rebuilds its neighborhoods afterwards so I said it sounds like it's just feeding neighborhoods to wildfires and then its residents started crying.
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my math prof told us a story. a grad student wrote his dissert on "if A, then B". defended; got his PhD. a couple years later, someone proved that A never happens.
I am told of a guy who did his math PhD on set theory. He defined a set with some properties and then set out to explore more properties and prove related theorems. Shortly before he was to graduate, it was also proven that it had been the empty set he had been working on.
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my daughter's reaction to all natural, home made, french vanilla ice cream with vanilla bean:. "i don't want the dirty ice cream"
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"so it turns out that people are only really 3-D printing gaming miniatures and guns.". "so it didn't turn out profitable?". "profit? oh my god, we're raking in more cash than you could imagine".
remember “desktop printing ?”. did anybody ever desktop print anything besides war game figurines, paperweights and guns?.
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also important to note that desktop also incidentally has the capacity to hate. but don’t worry about that.
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sergeant dog's words have been edited for the sake of the children
Yeah, they wouldn’t today make a children’s book with two pages like this. (1974)
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hearing a tumblr user express my most common complaint about twitter felt briefly like traveling to tribe living in a remote rainforest and finding someone who speaks perfect english
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this is getting out of control. guy with a license plate cover that makes his plate unreadable 10' away. impound + crush the car; suspend the license
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very different experiences of bodies and how dirty they are. hopefully our daughter gets the best of both worlds.
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it turns out the only thing worse than sleeping tightly in a room with poor ventilation is driving in a car with the AC in recirculation mode
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previously, in "well intentioned but problematic redesigns"
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you can just do things
A gentle reminder that the process of civilization is the process of forgetting that you can grab a rock and bash someone's skull in. The whole of modern society is built on this careful, delicate process and you will not enjoy what happens if people begin to remember.
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"everyone scores 1300". tell me you don't often interact with the general public without telling me . .
SAT scores as a measure kind sucks cuz basically everyone scores a 1300 and once you look up into the 1500s the difference in scores comes down to whether you sneezed once pr twice during the math section.
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every time I think of space colonization, I think about evaporative cooling. you take a place (e.g. Europe) and you open up a frontier where a man can make his fortune (e.g. America), and over a long enough timeframe, people will sort into agentic and non-agentic regions.
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an advantage of common places like "churches" and "grandparent's houses" for maintaining traditions is that as kids age out of the traditions themselves, they can maintain continuity and engagement by helping preserve the magic for younger children.
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question: if lab-grown meat became indistinguishable from wild/farmed meat, what would be the second-order effects?. not, what do you wish they would be; what would actual humanity actually do?. i think salmon would be extinct within a century.
Had the opportunity to try lab-grown salmon this weekend. Very good - texture was not quite as good as the animal-grown stuff, not enough bite, but would be perfectly good on scrambled eggs. It won’t be long until we don’t need to keep salmon around at all.
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yeah, but that battle was lost a long time ago. mostly because of the paradox of mansplaining
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paperclipping your liver with non alcohol fatty liver disease
One of my friends in undergrad wrote a linear optimization program to maximize nutrition per dollar for their protein shake. It ended up returning that the optimal solution was just 100% peanut butter.
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i dated someone for two months and they lived rent free in my head for the next 7-8 years. some relationships just tear you up no matter how long.
the fun thing about breaking up with someone you dated from ages 20-26 is that a huge portion of my favorite and/or most formative memories are now tinged with sadness.
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by the intermediate value theorem, there was at least one point where he was just the right amount of rich to learn to drive.
I think this Alex Karp quote has the highest aura of anything this year. Think about it all the time
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a thought i have regularly. how much of ancient texts is simply not mentioned because "everyone knew" the way things were?. how much of modern novels and news stories and . will be inscrutable in 20, 100, 500 years.
The ability to play games is a set of skills that many people learn in childhood and others don't. There was a YouTuber who got his wife to play Portal, and she played through the first couple levels without touching the mouse at all because the tutorial didn't mention it. She.
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✅ "for what purpose do you want to know?". ❌ "it says 'pull' "
"for what purpose do you want to know?" is maybe the single most important clarifying question to ask before attempting to answer.
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1. yes, the reason i mentioned she's asian is because of the genetic and cultural factors!. 2. this is about cultural notions of pure vs unclean and not our daughter living in filth, but thanks for responding!
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anyway, for a full minute this woman was spending her precious attention trying to make sure she wasn't accidentally buying peppermint nutella or something.
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"I'm not going to raise rich failsons; instead i will give my money to some 501(c)3 so someone else's failsons can get a paycheck".
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what do you call the application of an incredible amount of talent to the wrong problem entirely. is there a word for this.
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TARGET. WHEN I ADD MORE WORDS I SHOULD GET FEWER THINGS
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expert-level trolling here. a while back there was a story of a math student who was carrying the title "Basic Algebra" across the quad and she got hit on by a guy who thought he could tutor her, not realizing it was Basic Abstract Algebra, an upper-level course.
A math department at a major university in the US is now offering a semester long course on “game theory”. Yes, you read that right. Games. The things tiny children play. The dumbing down of America continues….
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Credit scores enable a world where you can actually do things that require a credit score. "Hello, car dealer I've never met in town I just arrived in; i would like to make a $30,000 purchase but only have $2000 liquid". "Cool, the system vouches for you.".
Credit scores: people don’t like them because they hold a mirror to a broken world, but the alternative to them is not an unbroken world.
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@DefenderOfBasic they probably state this in the thread, but NASA used to walk the hydrogen lines waving brooms back and forth. if the broom caught fire, you knew there was a hydrogen leak there.
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parents: take seriously your interactions with your children. for them, you losing your temper will change their perspective on the world forever. even though for you, it was tuesday
@caesararum When I was 4-5 years old. I was super into the "Why" phase, my dad flipped out on me, and killed my sense of discovery. Mentally castrated me. I think about that 10 second interaction 30+ years ago a lot.
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startups, 2004: "let's move every social interaction online for the sake of people with poor social skills". startups, 2025: "let's grind up the souls of people with poor impulse control and see if money falls out"
Oh i see they have lasered in on their target market.
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called it
"One of those expelled. said protesting in high school was what helped get him into Vanderbilt & secure a merit scholarship for activists and organizers. His college essay was about organizing walkouts to oppose Gov. Ron DeSantis’ anti-LGBTQ policies."
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Oh IRS; never change
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maybe i should work in the sausage industry. at least there, sausage is a desired outcome.
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hmm years of seeing it, and I just now noticed what town is in the top right of this image.
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i have one rule for my daughter's dating life. never bring home anyone named /\w*a[iy]d[aeiy]n/.
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@Austen in the thread that i think inspired this question, there was a screenshot showing that official policy is ice is ok, but it's at the agent's discretion.
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PSA: never leave your high decoupling friends alone with your low decoupling friends.
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@prettywiseass There's a midwestern trait I miss. slap your knees with both hands, and say "whelp,". universally recognized sign of "time to call it" in certain parts of the country.
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now, you may ask, what would have happened had Disney bought Minecraft . and the answer is too terrible to imagine. they'd have f---ed it up somehow. Minecraft Park at Disney World would lose money, confusing everyone.
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Life pro tip: if you see something on the internet you like, save it. Otherwise when you go to look for it again, some combination of bit rot, bad site migrations, route schema changes, site shutdowns, user deletions, and search crappiness will make it impossible to re-locate.
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"no, my cat's name isn't HP Lovecraft's cat's name, it's 'HP Lovecraft's cat's name'. do we need to go over the difference between pass-by-reference and pass-by-value again?".
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civilizations are like huskies
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there are two types of responses to this:. - people who get it.- people who haven't come home with chili lime flavor toothpaste yet.
a woman at the grocery store spent a full minute staring at these trying to figure out if they were normal nutella or some kind of weird variant. your clever redesign is someone else's source of stress
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MyPassword123!. I bet 90% of passwords in places where policy requires a special character have an exclamation point at the end.
not being able to end/start my password with a special character is one of the dumbest requirements I've seen
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more significant than preventing the birth of third children, car seat laws reduce community formation. because it's now ~illegal to drive your kids and their friends somewhere without having extra car seats.
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seriously, every third boy under 16 i see is wearing Minecraft clothes or carrying a minecraft toy. disney properties are not nearly so hot as they were.
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the rule of projects is: first you do the first 90%, then you do the second 90%. what they don't tell you: the rule recurses.
.@eigenrobot: "ok this project is almost done" . me: "you've said that four times!" . e: "no but for real this time. so. I've just got to. " . [several sentences later]. ". and then all I have left to do is ok you know what shut up".
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when you generate uuids frivolously, do you ever get a twinge, even just for a moment, that you're consuming a finite resource?.
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any object of sufficient complexity naturally becomes ensouled, and as such requires insults, sacrifices, cajoling, etc to work.
@caesararum Jets are the same way.
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@MostlyMonkey I expect the drink is well drunk by now, but in your shoes I'd have switched on RAW mode and captured the data and seen if I could reconstruct in post. a lot of New Yorkers struggled to take pics of the nightmare sky during the wildfires because phones automatically assume /.
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this kind of smart, walkable, mixed use urbanism is illegal to build in most american cities
problem 4: the US is in desperate need of dense, walkable communities . point 5: Navy ships are dense walkable, communities . see where I'm going?.
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These are pretty neat. We should make a lot of them. Like A LOT a lot.
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out of curiosity, I looked up some one-building zip codes in NYC (10118 is the Empire State Building, and only the Empire State Building). "Zillow has 6099 homes for sale in 10118". the f-ck you do, zillow
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the rules that grew up around them - adjunct have strict course load limits, usually 2 per instructor per institution - were meant to prevent universities from displacing TT professors from work . but over the last 20-30 years they've become a form of wage slavery.
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"smart" or "high IQ" isn't the right frame. a lot of y'all are exotic supercars idling in the driveway.
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TIL that in some parts of Indonesia, the most common fuel for cooking tofu is . plastic waste
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There's a guy who follows me who:.- has a locked account.- with zero followers .- and dm's me thoughts on my posts. of all the ways to use twitter, this is certainly one of them.
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The inventor of two-handle mixer faucets: "i really enjoy the feeling taking a differential equations exam. if only there were some way to have that feeling every time I wash my hands"
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Other than Game of Thrones, what is the biggest TV show that has left the smallest impact?. like, MASH reruns will still be playing after the apocalypse; meanwhile i feel like HIMYM kind of dried up after the finale.
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