Bryan Callen
@bryancallen
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One day my children will understand the greatness from which they hail
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This is outrageous! The people disagree! They tear at my clothes, Chris! Bastard!.
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Hey @JenKirkman Why don’t you come on my podcast & we can actually MEET and TALK. I would love to discuss why you are so passionately invested in destroying the life of someone you don’t know based solely on hearsay. That’s a real offer.
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This BASTARD!!.
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Look at this bastard taking MY DAY and turning it into HIS day! I have another show to do tonight and he’s ruined EVERYTHING
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Check it kids. M’spinoff tonight. If they like the social media response it could be big. @TheGoldbergsABC 8 PM
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I mean how can you argue with SCIENCE @chrisdelia heh heh #Iwin.
I got see @bryancallen do standup in Boston & talk after. I've been a fan from MADtv to 10 min pod, TFATK & on @joerogan. He's one of the funniest people on the planet. As an MIT scientist, I can objectively say that he's at least 2 times funnier than @chrisdelia ;-) #soldoutshow
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Did the entire @TimboSugarshow in this position after having the honor of training with the kinetic artist I call “Strong Water” but you know as @SugaSeanMMA and his awesome coach - the man I call “Hard Red” or @timwelchmt . Stay tuned for raw footage of our training sessions
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Censorship is real! God forbid you express an unpopular thought!.
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And now in response to my lands two very divided teams .
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Fighting is something I practice in real time and for high stakes. I love @chrisdelia and @willsasso but sometimes creative differences can lead to physical altercations. Please know that I was holding back here. via @YouTube.
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Get my new special Complicated Apes anywhere you rent or buy your stuff including iTunes and YouTube. P.S. I wrote the above ad MYSELF!
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San Diego! I'm at this weekend but I'm not sure what this guy is saying
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HOLY SHIT! I'M NUMBER 3 THANKS TO YOU GUYS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
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Kevin Hart's Netflix Special Is Going to Get Him Canceled. Again via @vice hilarious, some key board warrior “journalist” or should I say activist scolding Kevin Hart on what he SHOULD have said in his comedy routine. Censorship is alive and well!.
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I posted 45 photos on Facebook in the album "chicago improv sunday" http://t.co/ZMESXSu8CI.
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Enjoy this roast battle between myself and my student @chrisdelia this was in Ventura. Love those crowds.
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Guys! Quick Story for ya bout when I was playing high level tennis! Also Syracuse funny Bone see you this Friday/Saturday
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All I want is an excuse to wear bandoleros. Just once, and then I want to shoot COVID 19 in it’s stupid face until my belts run empty
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Look! The right is FINALLY using humor! Refreshing.
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These heroes need us more than ever. Fire season is here and it’s predicted to be worse than last year. I am showing my support by rockin’ my official LAFD hat/shirt/hoodie. Proceeds directly benefit the LAFD Foundation. Get your gear today!
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Umm I can’t believe I’m tweeting about a movie but RUN don’t walk to see The Quiet Place. Holy F that was intense.
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Common sense!!.
That’s right! Riverside County Sheriff tells Gavin Newsom to go Fuck himself!
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As usual Sam and I are getting to the bottom of what’s REALLY going on in the world. But to get to the TRUTH behind the “truth” one must go to Conspiracy Social Club only on Patreon. Be afraid!
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Chael Sonnen makes me feel like a weak lil ninny.
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Maxim! Yes! Bikini shots coming! I need to shave and tan first.
The funnyman co-hosts "The Fighter and The Kid" podcast and is a regular guest on "The Joe Rogan Experience.".
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My STAND UP SPECIAL is finally here! Yeeehaaw! Only for those who like t'laugh. Avail on HULU, AMAZON & right here!
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CAP CITY IN AUSTIN THIS WEEKEND!! Get your tickets now before they sell out
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Seattle. Tickets to my show still available but only if you want to laugh super hard for over an hour.
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Here's what to do when a wild animal or a UFC heavy weight comes at you with bad intentions.
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I hear cltcomedyzone still has some tix left for the weekend. Nuff said.
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#KansasCity I'll see you this weekend @ImprovKCMO then I'm headed down to #Texas @AddisonImprov Yeeehhawwww!.Tix Available:
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Brilliant!!.
If this spike in trans children is all biological, why is it regional? Either Ohio is shaming them or California is creating them.
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The ever brilliant ever outrageous @michaelmalice clarifies the signal in the noise. I love speaking to this guy. I always learn something even when I disagree. I’m going to breakdown his new book THE NEW RIGHT on my BOOKLESS BOOK CLUB soon! Subscribe➡️
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Stuck at home? Stream “Never Grow Up” on Amazon Prime for free!
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Opinion | Tarantino turns Sharon Tate's murder into a story about white male heroism via @NBCNewsTHINK Ani Bundle has got to be the dumbest critic out there. She’s reduced Tarantino’s genius to a celebration of white men? Ha ha ha keyboard warrior justshhh.
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Big thank you to everyone who has watched "Complicated Apes"! Available now for purchase on iTunes, Youtube, Google Play, Amazon & More!
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Boston, yes I'm coming to but check out my street fighting seminar!
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Yes! THE BOOKLESS BOOKCLUB IS FINALLY HERE! Episode 1. Enjoy this BOOK!.👉
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Look! It’s a promo for m’spinoff!
Let's time travel. This spinoff special episode of #TheGoldbergs is taking a peek into 1990-something, Wednesday at 8|7c on ABC!
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Come to my TACTICAL SCARF seminar TONIGHT, TOMORROW, & JAN 2 in Phoenix at stand up Live!.GET WARM, LOOK GREAT, STAY SAFE!.🎟 @standuplive
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Think the Scandinavian socialist system has it all figured out? Read this.
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Thinkn bout m’shows this weekend at the Columbus Funny Bone got me like. get yer f’n TIX here.
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And now @AnaGasteyer with an advertisement for my up coming shows at the @dcimprov this weekend. Tix
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Ivy league college kids protesting? Also i’ll be at the Dania Beach FL Improv next week May 24-26 get your tix now
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I just realized something about Mike my driver in Boston. so awkward, so beautiful.
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Tampa! Hope you’re not scared of naked clowns! 🤡.I’ll be there the 27th & 28th.
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These guys are NOT doing a good impression of me! My voice has a lot more rust and smoke in it.
Our Bryan Callen impressions worked their way into the podcast and they overtook us in this video. CaliendoCast is back. and turned up a few notches. #fighterandthekid #bryancallen
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I’m not that crazy about CNN but you gotta love Chris Cuomo for punking this joker. P.S. @chisCuomo is a big, athletic DUDE - first, anchor - second so if you step to him know your girl is probably checking him out too.
A man in NY yesterday approached CNN's Chris Cuomo and called him "Fredo". Cuomo: "You're going to have a problem". Man: "What are you going to do about it?". Cuomo: "I'll fuckin ruin your shit. I'll fucking throw you down these stairs". Credit: "THAT'S THE POINT with Brandon"
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Hey @AmericanAir how bout you get better and not make people HOLD the line for 40 minutes. Here’s an idea! Have a CALL BACK feature like @Delta cuz y’know TECHNOLOGY & your customers TIME. Obviously & of course.
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10 years later. and still not maniac bait!.West Palm Beach! See ya the 14th-16th 🎟🎟Get some
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Cincinnati! See you THIS Thursday-Saturday at the FUNNY BONE! Get tix:
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Guys! Real quick, my SPESH is available everywhere but you'll have to wait until December 3 to watch it on HULU. Ooops! Sorry!
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In this very special ep of @FighterNtheKid we talk with @chrisdelia who isn't respectful to me and makes me furious.
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You mean North Korea WON?? That evil regime dictates what the United States can & can't watch?? Disgusted and ashamed.
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In this podcast with the great @stevebyrnelive we talk about "The Opening Act", the new movie he wrote and directed starring Jimmy O Yang, and we talk about how important it is to have the heart of a lion/spirit of a dolphin. ➡️
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We sold out all 5 shows so had to add a 6th! Why? Cuz I give. I give till it hurts. #AthleticSantaClause.
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Hey all you young people out there! EDUCATION is important because it helps one distinguish between a good idea and a bad idea. Carry on. .
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Full length audio version of #TheWolfsDen with myself & @wolfofwallst available on all platforms now!
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