adam
@brokeangeI
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Last Seen Profiles
me: i have 9 friends
friend: toxic by britney spears isn’t even that good
me:
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i love this song
Anti-LGBT Republican lawmaker resigns after being caught having gay sex in his office:
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my stomach after i ate polly pocket shoes, clothes and accessories when i was 5
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| 👗👠 |
| 👒 👛 /
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i’m FAR from catching feelings
me
📍
📏 (2 steps)
📏
📍planning a wedding
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junie b jones
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the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles
A big wooden penis has mysteriously appeared six thousand feet up an Austrian mountain
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things that DON’T make you ugly
- acne
- being over/under weight
- scars
- stretch marks
- crooked/yellow teeth
- body hair
- thinning hair/loss
- psoriasis/eczema/rashes
- fat rolls
- amputations
- physical abnormalities
things that DO make you ugly
- being good at math
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i’m FAR from caring😌💅🏻✨
me
📍
📏 (15 second walk)
📏
📍emotional breakdown
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yeah sex is cool but have you ever imagined yourself with a nose job
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friend: *texts me*
my brain:
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
don’t say it
me: *doesn’t say it, forgets to reply for three weeks*
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stop making eye contact with me i can’t afford a wedding right now
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i don’t apologize when i get lip gloss on the blunt that’s dior bitch you’re welcome
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party at my campsite tonight
girls and gays - free
straight men - 50,000 bells
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the fcc be like
and for my next trick i’ll ruin everything for absolutely no reason
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male attention ain’t hittin like it used to i’m gonna need $10,000 sir
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sorry i can’t hang out i’m trying to get over every toxic situation i put myself through this year
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my therapist: *gives me advice that could actually help me*
me: hm ok
stranger on twitter: idk drink water
me: 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆💖🌈🦋🌸
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my therapist: have you been tweeting about your trauma again?
me: 𝑒𝓌. 𝓃𝑜. 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒿𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔
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me pretending to be texting someone when i walk past a group of men
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“bitch you ain’t no barbie, i see you work at arby’s. number 2, super-sized, hurry up i’m starving.”
-corinthians 13:4
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woman accused of being a witch in 1692: i’m not a witch and THAT is the tea😌💅🏻
townspeople: no shade but you’re lying sis
woman: wig you’re right i am a witch
townspeople: OH TEA😩
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yes the rumors are true i refuse to take my own advice because i enjoy making my life harder and what about it
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the notebook who?
Gay porn star couple get engaged right after filming bareback gang bang scene together
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i was born in the wrong social class. i’m a rich person being held hostage in a broke bitches body. please send help
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yes the rumors are true i need attention just as much as i need oxygen...maybe even more!
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bold of you to assume that i have any idea why i’m acting like this
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me after talking shit with my friend on facetime for 3 hours: everyone should be nicer😌❤️🌻💞🌈🦋
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i don’t know
⊂_ヽ
＼＼ how to express
＼( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ＼
/ / ＼＼my emotions
ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ
/ /
/ /|
( (ヽ
| |、＼
| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
| | ) /
ノ ) Lﾉ
(_／
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╭━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃I see you’ve got ur clown ┃
┃suit on like you always do ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
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