Brent Cooper
@brentonhcooper
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Lawyer. Houstonian living in the DC area. Husband to @callinorton . Tweeting mostly about baseball. @TAMU / @UChicagoLaw alum.
Washington, DC
Joined June 2011
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Kanye really released a 27-track album with zero skips
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One time I dated a super country girl, and she broke up with me because she could never see me “sawing the head off of a deer,” and I think about that a lot . . .
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New York Yankees @ Chicago White Sox, and behind the plate they have ads for . . . The Woodlands?? 🧐
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After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
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Jim Crane after he read
@ginaluhnow
’s tweet saying that the
@astros
2024 season was karma:
Astros have released first baseman José Abreu from the Major League roster.
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SEC with an embarrassing loss on the biggest of stages. Is the conference overrated?
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@depthsofwiki
I once was an editor on a journal where someone insisted on a citation for the saying that the only things certain in life are death and taxes. Like they wanted a citation for the veracity of the statement, not for the origin of the saying.
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To all the people who ever said I would never amount to anything:
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This you??
We simply cannot stay closed until the vaccine hits critical mass. The cost is too high. We will have nothing left to open. We must reopen the economy, but we must do it smartly and safely.
#SOTS2021
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When I was 10, I paid my dad $7 in exchange for the right to receive $1 on January 1 every year for the rest of his life. This has become my favorite New Year’s tradition.
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Tim Tebow completing two passes total and still somehow winning the game
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Creating a culture of criticizing attorneys for the clients and cases they select—even if you believe the claim is meritless—makes it harder for attorneys to take unpopular but *meritorious* clients/cases.
That can severely undermine the independence of the judicial process.
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"If
@Conner_McQueen
doesn't win Holder of the Year, they ought to stop giving it." —Bear Bryant, probably
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If you can't handle me at my second-half-A&M-season moments, you don't deserve me at my first-half-A&M-season moments.
#TAMUvsUCLA
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“Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.” —Matthew 24:35
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The great people of Austin rally to help a homeless man whose belongings were burned in the riots
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I’m thrilled to join
@bakerbotts
as a Senior Associate in the firm’s litigation department in Washington, D.C.
I couldn’t be more excited to return home to the firm where I began my career in private practice and first learned the fundamental skills of effective lawyering and
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@BryanGivi
“They clearly didn’t do research on the air fryer market. I bet their legal research on their motion is just as deficient.”
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Things you can do with a
@TAMU
poultry sciences degree: force a fumble that leads to a touchdown in the Super Bowl.
cc:
@Millerlite40
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Publix hasn’t gotten this much media attention since Jameis stole the crab legs
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@kanyewest
Ye, I’m a lawyer, and we spoke briefly in front of a Superbad poster in Houston last fall. DM me, man.
cc:
@KanyePodcast
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You ever just get so proud of all you’re gf is accomplishing??
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I think my strangest football opinion is that the end zone should be ten yards deeper
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One of the best pieces of advice I got before working for a law firm was “always have a reason for everything you do.” Doesn’t have to be a good reason &—when you first start—it often won’t be.
Bad reasons are fixable. Disaster comes when you can’t explain why you did something.
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@SickosCommittee
Pretty sure I saw this on the TV screen at a bowling alley after bowling a strike once
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It was a great honor to get admitted to the Bar of the Supreme Court of the United States this morning! And it was cool to attend oral arguments in person for the first time.
Thank you to my beautiful bride
@CalliNorton
for joining me.
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—Roberts & Alito were both appointed in Bush’s 2nd term, after he won the popular vote by 3M
—Ginsburg & Breyer were appointed in Clinton’s 1st term after he failed to secure a popular-vote majority (only a plurality)
—Stevens was appointed by Ford, who never got a single vote
If Barrett is confirmed, 5 members of the Supreme Court - a majority - will have been appointed by presidents who did not win the popular vote (Barrett, Kavanaugh and Gorsuch by Trump, Alito and Roberts by GW Bush).
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You, dumb: watching the interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
Me, an intellectual: watching a Netflix documentary about aliens
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Anyone want to go to the Kanye album release event in Atlanta with me on Thursday night??
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Happy Birthday to my gorgeous, hilarious, empathetic, and incredibly talented girlfriend—the one and only
@CalliNorton
!! 🎉🍾🎈🥳
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Life update: Yesterday, I completed my clerkship with Judge Jennifer Elrod on the Fifth Circuit. I’m excited to start as an associate attorney at Baker Botts in Houston in a month.
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I love meeting recent law school grads who moved from NY, DC, or New England to do a one-year judicial clerkship in TX (with initial plans to leave at the end); and after like one month in Texas, they’re like, “I’m never leaving this place”
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I don't always take selfies.
But when I do, I let an expert like
@JusticeWillett
take them.
#NationalSelfieDay
📸
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Valentine’s Day last year: slid into the DMs of this girl who I thought was cute and funny on Twitter
She didn’t reply . . .
Valentine’s Day this year: celebrating nine months together with the same girl
Always
#ShootYourShot
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2020 sucked. No question. But I found great joy this year in:
—Falling in love
—Becoming skilled at (and passionate about) my job
—Helping raise my gf’s puppy
—Watching my little sister get married
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This house in LA just closed for $1.2 million. Sixty different offers.
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A performance of “Imagine” sponsored by Planet Fitness on CNN is a fittingly miserable end to 2020
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You sure this isn't the
@JusticeWillett
fan zone???
Jersey robes and foam gavels in Aaron Judge new fan section at Yankee Stadium (📷 by
@yankees
)
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I know there’s still lots of election chatter going on, but please pray for my dad if you can.
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Life update: Like so many others these days, I'm moving to Florida. Effective next week, I'll be a full-time resident of Tallahassee, where I'll be joining the great team at Holland & Knight. I can't wait to continue to grow as a lawyer in another excellent firm.
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My currently disabled dad had his pipes burst in rural Texas today. Please send your prayers, y’all.
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In what world is Mark Stoops plus a Jimbo buy-out of $75 mil better than just sticking it out with Jimbo?
@RossBjorkAD
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My gf has bought like three new mirrors in the last six months, and every time I hold the mirror up to her and say “wow, it even came with a picture of the most beautiful girl in the world”
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I’m so happy in my current relationship that I never thought in a million years that such a relationship would be possible or that I would be lucky enough to be in one.
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Few people shaped my thinking at a young age as much as Sowell.
His retirement is richly deserved, but his insight will be dearly missed.
"Goodbye and good luck to all." Tom Sowell's farewell column via worldnetdaily
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guys really live in apartments like this and don’t see any issue
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At the airport in San Salvador, El Salvador, where
@senatorshoshana
's memes are all the rage.
#InternationalSlothCommittee
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As a law student, I edited Judge Barrett’s 2017 article for
@UChiLRev
. My correspondence with her in that process gave me the same impression recounted here by her colleagues: “intelligent, thoughtful, open-minded.”
People reducing her to an “ideological category” are mistaken.
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It was cool to be a part of this brief.
You can read the full thing here:
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Finished the bar exam, and I don't know what to do with my time anymore so I'm just randomly walking aimlessly around a mall.
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Today marks five years since I began as a lawyer in private practice (after my clerkship). It’s fun how you often can’t see yourself grow with each passing day. But you look back after half a decade and realize you’re far more adept and confident than on that first day.
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Truly heartbreaking.
Trade-offs are real. Shutting everything down comes at immense costs.
Texas boy, 12, hangs himself after battling depression amid COVID-19
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Happy to report that I’ve passed
@TheFlaBar
Exam. Still not Florida-barred, as I’m awaiting other parts of my application to process. But it’s great to be successfully done with my second (and hopefully last ever) bar exam.
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Today is my last day as an attorney at
@Holland_Knight
. I’m very thankful for all the great opportunities I got here both in Florida—where the firm traces its roots to—and in DC, where the firm boasts fantastic public policy and litigation groups: my first trial experience,
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At Texas A&M, you can fish for a bit and then go across the street for the game. As SEC as it gets.
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The people who run the Chick-fil-a drive through should be in charge of our nation’s response to Coronavirus
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Celebrating seven months with my gf today, so I had to treat her to one of Austin’s finest restaurants
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We need a Supreme Court Justice who listens to the Constitution as intently as Judge Amy Coney Barrett listens to a
@brentonhcooper
speech.
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I just want to send a tweet about how excited I am to move back indefinitely to my hometown of Houston, Texas two months from today.
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@KanyePodcast
Was going through a rough couple months, driving through Houston on a Saturday afternoon listening to Saint Pablo on repeat. Then I got out of the car and ran into Kanye
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Hey girl,
I didn't pick Louisville in my bracket because I'm rooting for U 'n I!
#MarchMadnessPickupLines
http://t.co/KHlFgZissZ
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MLB was smart to preemptively prevent fans from boycotting them by making it impossible, through blackout restrictions, for fans to watch games to begin with
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Just realized I grew up six miles from where Simone Biles was growing up. I was playing NCAA Football 06 on PS2 while she was becoming the world’s best gymnast.
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Tomorrow, I’ll be taking the Florida Bar Exam in hopes of securing a law license in two of America’s greatest states: Florida and Texas.
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This week is weird.
Monday was Monday.
Tuesday was Friday.
Wednesday was Saturday.
Today is Monday.
Tomorrow is Friday.
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It’s almost as if the pandemic is a complex, value-balancing problem that requires multidisciplinary solutions. Maybe early-childhood development experts should have just as much of a seat at the table as infectious disease experts.
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Preparing for the criminal law section of the bar exam tomorrow like:
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My good friend—a native Ukrainian who moved to the US as a kid—shared his story with me:
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So cool that the city of Nashville, a true oil town, gets to celebrate its well-recognized centuries of leadership in the oil and gas industry with these throwbacks.
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In 2015, I think that we, as a society, all need to agree to ban the phrase "featuring Pitbull."
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Thoughts and prayers for my non-lawyer girlfriend who has to listen to me get into the weeds on obscure Supreme Court precedents during the hearing this week
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