I woke up yesterday morning still drunk to find an unsaved number repeatedly calling me. I finally answered just to hear a very angry woman asking why her fiancé was texting me at 2 am. Why is this my life man🫠
I just quit vaping so I did some girl math, and the amount of money I’ll be saving over the next 5 months from not buying vapes is the same amount of money it’d cost me to go to EDCO. So essentially it’d be like going for free! Sounds like I’m sending it to edc!! 🤩
My aunts are trying to get me to join the military right now and one of them just goes, “there’s a lot of lesbians in the military,” as a way to persuade me to join…… you know what fuck it sign me up!!!!
@katianakelsin
My mom came home from work early. When I walked out of my room and asked what she was doing home and if she would be leaving again, she put two and two together and left so I could finish my biz. She yelled “be safe kids!” On her way out the door 💀
*reply tweet* if someone tells you they’re dating someone, would you take that as them being in the talking stage? Or would you assume that person has a bf/gf? (Asking for a friend)
Y’all I just had the sketchiest experience with this company that I was supposed to start working for… if you never hear from me again, I was 100% trafficked
This man really slid up on my story saying “I wanna cum in you” and then told me to come over for just 5-10 mins and said, and I quote, “it’ll be worth it.” Gtfo💀🤣
Just saw the cringiest snap mem of myself from 4 years ago today. I was really packing a lip, ripping a juul, and said “double buzz”… I hate myself sometimes💀
My little brother just called me for the first time from basic training and I couldn’t answer because I was in a stupid ass meeting. I am literally so heated rn 😅
Grippy: “I’m just so obsessed with you and I feel like I don’t get the attention I deserve in return, so I’m sorry but I’m not going to reach out anymore.”
Me: “idk why you feel that way but okay”
*2 weeks later*
Grippy: “hi love. I miss you.”
💀
This chick told me last night that she really likes me and wants to get to know me better, and I really said “I have so much unhealed trauma and I’m kinda fucked up so I wouldn’t if i were you.” Like am I ok???
Just remembered the time I was in nyc for ezoo- I was about to cross the street and my ex pulled me back and saved me from getting hit by a bus, and
@AustinRavers_
goes, “I totally saw that bus coming too and just didn’t say anything.”