regina spektrum
@bobo_circus
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funny woman. not very funny though
silly-delphia :-)
Joined September 2019
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Last Seen Profiles
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love being called a "try hard" like yeah i try too hard. i also feel too much. i dream too big. i love too strong. i breathe too deep. i crashed my toyota camry into a child's lemonade stand in 2017
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being an adult is having three errands & being like. well fuck this is going to be my whole day
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i'm not sure that anybody making these has ever met a mother
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what the hell is this bitch's problem
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dont you hate it when youre in tenth grade & this happens
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unless sydney sweeney forces her parents to vote for joe biden at gunpoint i can no longer in good conscience "stan" her tv show about high schoolers snorting heroin out of each others mouths
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the phrase "hurt people hurt people" is a lot more fun if you imagine its someone cheering you on
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the stay at home girlfriend tiktok is a potent reminder that many people have forgotten the life of a 50s housewife was so boring that they had to be barred out 15 hours a day
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a little kid who's obviously gay at age like 8 is the second-funniest type of kid you can be (the first is that exact same kid but somehow he turns out straight)
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guy who makes racist jokes all day: i'm the joker
guy who is about 3 bad days from becoming an actual serial killer: gm chat how are we doing today :-)
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if you believe this was cancer you're a mark. nicole brown simpson & ron goldman's killer came back to finish the job
O.J. Simpson -- one of the most infamous high-profile Americans of all time -- is dead after a cancer battle.
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every structure of american life is built to turn you into a howling maniac. but you can also get seven onion rings delivered to your house for $30 so who can say if its bad
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"cocaine is trash" oh okay. i guess you just hate the ancient Inca then. no that's cool. you're wiser than King Pachacútec i guess. hey btw what was your favorite part about the conquistadors, who you love,
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they have books about adults who are unsatisfied with their lives its called most of literature
We need more coming-of-age stories except the main character is +25, employed and hates their job, single, with less than one friend, and generally bad at human relationships
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nuclear warhead vs coughing baby here. yeah let me just use my perfect rock like a sword. there's so much to do with a perfect rock its definitely not skipping it one time and losing it forever. what are you even talking about
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convincing the love of your life to pledge their undying commitment in front of a meme with a shelf life of 4 days must be history's craziest persuasion check
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if they do it again it will simultaneously be the funniest thing to ever happen & the single most insufferable day in twitter history
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we gotta stop letting lesbians read poetry they've convinced themselves straight people are unable to love
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personally i think that giving 14 year olds a little portable box that forces them to memorize 40,000 nonsensical rules about what you can & cant say or do at any given time was, potentially, a bad idea
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converting to catholicism is universally recognized as sicko behavior bc catholicism is understood by everybody of sound mind to be a childhood illness, like polio or croup
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sorry guys im leaving twitter. im going to post gleeps on frunkley.bunk with two hundred of the most 38 year old people this website ever churned out
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"haha" and "hehe" are separate designations of laughter with specific functions. "haha" is when you want to show that you lare laughing good-naturedly & "hehe" is for when you are trying to appear as a little stinker / rascal
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can a writer insert some unnecessary sex scenes into my life already god damn
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is there like a sam jekyll whos funny
Me: shocked, crying White Tears when Diet Russia is under attack
Meanwhile: 1000's of Black Folx murdered by police in your hometown, no one says boo
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why are you getting mad that the navy's trying to recruit gay guys. have you not heard of the navy before
The U.S. Navy hired this non-binary drag queen as a “digital ambassador” to try to recruit people
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if santa were created today he would be call. fuck. he would called. fuck me in the ass. he qould. gender claus
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this is why desantis will never beat him. so few politicians have the courage to go up onstage & say to their supporters' faces "wow so this is the stupid shit you like? you eat this dumb shit up? thats nuts"
Trump notes his crowd is more enthused about bigotry than they are for tax cuts: "It's amazing how strongly people feel about that. I talk about cutting taxes, people go like that, I talk about transgender everybody goes crazy. Five years ago you didn't know what the hell it was"
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nobody wants to talk about it but it's insane that she identifies so strongly with israel when she got outmaneuvered in showbiz by a MORMON
‘Jeopardy!’ host Mayim Bialik: ‘I feel useless, irrelevant and worthless’
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the marxist urge to turn every meme into homework
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wtf i just heard my boyfriend's leitmotif & it's still incorporating elements from his ex's battle theme 😡😡😡
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my hot take is that the book would still suck but people would be way less mad about this if it were not for the word "yeeted," which subtly but unmistakably designates this as booktok sludge rather than normal bad fantasy romance
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in retrospect its insane that the twink from star wars just sat down one day & said "i'm going to be so good at voicing the Joker that no one else can do it"
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you would think that, of all people, stephen king would be wary about a car that keeps hitting pedestrians
I think Elon Musk is a visionary. Almost singlehandedly, he’s changed the way Americans think about automobiles. I have a Tesla and love it. That said, he’s been a terrible fit for Twitter. He appears to be making it up as he goes along.
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did vince gilligan like kill somebody in the academy's family or something
'BETTER CALL SAUL' walked away empty handed at the
#Emmys
tonight.
The show has now been nominated 46 times total with zero wins.
See the full winners list:
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QUEER FAMILY FEUD
steve harvey: name SOMETHING you do with a sock
father of 3: cum in it steve?
steve: do HWAT in it? oh lord [an X appears on the board]
24 year old with a septum piercing: play stardew valley with them!
steve: show me starbucks valley! [the top answer flips]
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this is a crazy thing to write about travis kelce, who in the 1830s would be been classified as some kind of legal oaf or simpleton & forced to lift hay bales on a farm until he died
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hanging outside of the amish village with a leather jacket & a cigarette. my goal is to be the first thing rumspringa girls see so they imprint on me like baby ducks
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insane to say this right in front of kamala
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[getting out of the hospital after i got beaten half to death by an infant] just want to remind you how weak that infant was. couldn't even walk by itself
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homie he had a psychic child & his boss was a ghost. we are not the same
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that's a great point ive never met a hot woman who was bad at things and/or annoying
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a lot of you seem to think that in a henchman pair you would be the huge lovable oaf when in reality you are the thin weaselly one or maybe even the extremely small angry one
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moms love complaining 24/7 about raising kids & they deserve to bc raising kids is the hardest thing on earth
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nancy pelosi literally said
Pelosi to protesters outside her house: "Go back to China where your headquarters is!"
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introducing middle aged guys to the phrase "i drink and i know things" is like when the gods gave man fire & he immediately used it to wage war on his fellow man
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@lunch_enjoyer
my non geologist ass would be picking it up with my hands & pretending to eat it like a hamburger & stuff
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pretty good fit! btw im 5'8 130lbs & i can put my legs behind my head
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its a bummer K*rmit did all that shit (censoring because he namesearches) bc i can’t think of a lyricist from that generation who even comes close
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every 28 year old who still says "gifted kid burnout" is about to burn him in effigy for this but he's right
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letterboxd might be the grimmest website we've ever made. all the people not funny enough for twitter riffing on the week's new release with the most plodding, half remembered memes theyve got. genuinely more spiritually toxic than liveleak
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have any doctors gotten vaccine seizures or is it just white 25 - 50 year old nurses
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this is a great point. when many people think about reddit they often associate it with smooth-talking wealthy casanovas with rich social lives. but in reality it may not perfectly reflect those ideas,
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"oh the Wizard is cool he's just doing a character online" "hes actually really nice hes just 700 years old" as if i don't literally have proof lmaooo
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how come they never include like Mad God or the work of ralph bakshi or like The Thief & the Cobbler how come it's always some disposable bullshit for 8 year old that came out last year (already knows the answer☝️☝️☝️)
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unless she denounces her parents who are probably in the bottom 20th percentile of racist white people in america i will be forced to boycott the episode where all of the 15 year olds smoke meth
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have you ever talked to a gay person in physical space
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its your decision whether you prefer that to working but i dare you to watch that & tell me that she is not on multiple brands of barbiturate
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its so cute when a little boy is into like dressing up barbies & pretending to faint & you get to be like "oh youre going to figure out something cool in a couple years"
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how come its only porn stars that do fuck a fan contests. i should be able to enter a raffle to fuck my local weatherman
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libs of tiktok should probably be like. at the very least branded with a hot iron over this right
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[trying to sleep with a woman who hasn't learned anything since 9th grade] damn this is so deep...... it's so impressive that she made this as a 30 year old woman......
blue light from the refridgerator representing jake gyllenhaal's coldness and the sunlight from the window representing taylor swift's warmth of love
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my son is begging me for examples of healthy masculinity. he is pleading and crying for just one non-toxic male role model to look up to but i keep showing him gore videos & clips from sex and the city where Mr Big is being inconsiderate
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its funny that the tumblr cult of personality that formed around john mulaney's suits & silly voice obscure the fact that the suit & voice were funny in contrast to the fact that his material was pretty blue & he was a drug addict
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i will never stop quote tweeting teenagers on this website. they have chosen to enter the thunderdome & now they will either become strong or perish
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one of History's biggest crimes (slavery, Holocaust, wokeness etc aside) is the association of Spain with brainless autotune pitch correction when he's really one of the most talented & exciting vocalists of the 21st century
T-Pain belting out War Pigs stopped me in my tracks
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geoguessr guy if he was gay: that's cunt. yep. alright that one's slay. nice. this one's mother, gotta be. nice. that's cunt again
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wasnt this dude on a show where like every 2 episodes a guy got his cock sucked by a dragon
Eternals' Richard Madden talks about the significance of the MCU's first true sex scene, hoping that the "intimate moment" is normalized.
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guys who defend Hitler's painting love to think of themselves as deeply counterculture maverick truth-tellers when it's basically the same as being like "shaq was actually a pretty good rapper"
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as a woman who's eaten more box than i can quantify i feel im allowed to say that these chicks need to chill & smoke some weed
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[guy who looks like an abused dog begging for treats,] lowkey feeling kind of sexy today.....
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JIMMY CARR: they call being deaf, "hard of hearing." that's funny to me, because the only thing that's hard to hear for me, is Justin Bieber's music 😏😏😏
THIS AUDIENCE MEMBER: why this man may just be Hitler himself
Comedian Jimmy Carr’s ‘vile’ joke at deaf audience member causes outrage: ‘This isn’t comedy!’
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this isn't a poem this is a series of texts from your worst roommate
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the greatest battle of our age is girls who are so beautiful but with A-cups vs mid girls with tits
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you gotta feel bad for king charles rn man. his ex wife died giving road head to an egyptian national & he has to die after a year of being bad at his first ever job
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right now there are upwards of 50,000 people who have built their personality off of consuming wholesome content going full chernobyl
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this is, functionally, a jihad on CVS's sound systems for the next decade
It’s a 2am surprise: The Tortured Poets Department is a secret DOUBLE album. ✌️ I’d written so much tortured poetry in the past 2 years and wanted to share it all with you, so here’s the second installment of TTPD: The Anthology. 15 extra songs. And now the story isn’t mine…
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ngl i am trying to be fairer to anarchism as a political belief system but it is very difficult when half of the time when you ask its defenders how to deal with diabetes without national supply lines their answer boils down to "every community gets one Bog Witch"
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wait are people really lining up for 12 hours to see the queen. man if i was in britain right now my ass would be stealing shit
David Beckham gets emotional after waiting in line for 12 hours to mourn Queen Elizabeth II
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damn this blow up. you people are all so god damn dumb it should be a crime
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so sick of tv shows about brilliant detectives who are shitty to work with. where are all the shows about detectives who are really nice but awful at their jobs
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whos the funniest celebrity who, like mark wahlberg, could have stopped 9/11 if they were on one of the planes. my money is on russell crowe
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its crazy that all these youtubers are trying to cheat on their girlfriends but just with other people who make 4 hour videos about Riverdale. like god damn at least don draper had a secretary
It had started with him attending my Pokémon Black streams last December and chatting. We started talking in DMs because he seemed chill. Then on June 4 I uploaded a selfie and he zoomed into my shoes in the background and messaged me about them
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for like 10 years the easiest way to go to prison was to give this guy any classified document
For anyone with standing on the left in 2015/6 -- such as me and Taibbi -- by far the easiest career and money path would've been churning out endless TRUMP-IS-HITLER and PUTIN-TOOK-OVER dreck.
We chose not to do that precisely because our dignity and conviction wasn't for sale.
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we need to airdrop DVDs of Seinfeld into yemen to counteract the harmful propaganda that has infected this young man's mind (thousands of pictures & videos of IDF forces turning kids who look like him into play-doh)
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@ettingermentum
he kicks ass i love when he does a binging with babish thing but for the practice of law
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once jk rowling realizes that she's been ratio'd and corned cobbed i'm sure she'll change her ways. this is really helpful and, crucially, its also very funny
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she's been getting dicked down for eight months straight without cumming. unstoppable force meets an uncummable object. after five years King Nasir will finally make her bust & then like john henry he will fall over dead as a stone
Adult film star King Nasir is currently in Ghana to satisfy Ghanaian actress Shugatiti. She had publicly declared that no man allowed her to reach orgasm.
They will compete live on a paid platform. Source: First Mag
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maybe it's the misogynist in me but i don't think you need to do a struggle session every time a guy asks you to go to a bar
he really thought he ate that… F for effort in asking me to travel an hour to have a drink with you at a place 2 blocks from your home. drinks is so he can spend less money but it’s nighttime so he can ask me back to his place after. & as if Manhattan doesn’t have patios?!
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converting to catholicism as an adult is like going out of your way to catch measles. its like spiritual bugchasing
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misogyny checkpoint: what’s the first tweet that shows up when you search “women” on your page ?
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hey honey you know the most important day of our life? can we base it around this funny tweet i saw yesterday
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