sometimes the bravest thing a girl can do is eat what’s in the house when she really wants thai food.

crazy how holding on to hope and giving up hope both suck.

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I have the worst brain fog of my entire life which is perfectly fine and cool because it's not like my 10 years of hard work in higher education are culminating in the next two months that are critically important to my future or anything.

anyone else celebrating lock in september followed by really bitch u need to lock in october?.

help! I have thoughts and feelings against my will.

RT @hbogirlsbot:

very important to eat 2 am tacos that a man who likes one of the girl group paid for after drinking drinks that another man who likes one of the girl group paid for after drinking other drinks that another man who likes one of the girl group paid for.

those of you who aren’t in love with me are so strong. every time I look at myself done up all cute to go out I instantly start swooning.

watching the summer I turned pretty and my sister goes “it just makes me feel nostalgic” and I was like yeah it’s a coming of age show I totally get that and she goes “no about when I hooked up with brothers”.

second dates are hard because men wanna take me to dinner and I can’t be like “don’t be concerned but being cheated on after 8 years altered my brain chemistry so badly that I started gagging and my heart starts racing every time I eat…. so drinks?”.

I love teaching college students. I be like hey class my fun fact is that I watch a lot of snake hatching videos on tiktok and they stare blankly at me but they HAVE to listen to me cause i’m the professor.

this aged super well considering my lawyer ex was cheating on me with another lawyer.

I believe in a return to traditional values !!!! (poison your husband with arsenic when he annoys you, take his money, move three towns over so you don’t get caught, repeat).

another day of being hotter smarter and kinder than my enemies 🧘‍♀️.

as the mountain goats said, “I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me”.

hehehhehehehehehe.

RT @greg16676935420: Taylor Swift going down the aisle at her wedding

sorry I keep tweeting about my breakup do u still think i’m hot.

Sky High (2005) is a cinematic masterpiece, the likes of which have never been created again since.

here’s what’s not sad:.-love is never wasted.-healing and change happen all the time.-my worth is unchanged by other people’s actions.-my softness holds extreme strength.

i’m sad I was cheated on i’m sad he jumped right to her I’m sad I knew he would i’m sad he contacts and flirts and i’m sad it confuses me when he’s actively fucking the girl he cheated with. sad I lost my best friend sad my best friend would do this to me. just all so sad.