Zayn Gregory
@bingregory
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Allah reverent US emigrant tak dapat terima Trump sebagai president tweets bahasa cromulent struggling to pay the rent wa tawakkal ala Yang Maha Provident
DTW | KCH | @bingregory
Joined November 2012
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Dukes and Datuks, My Sirs and Tan Sris, mari mendalami fahaman kita tentang sistem gelaran dan pangkat yang diamalkan di Malaysia
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When you only fear Allah
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1̶0̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶l̶l̶e̶n̶g̶e̶
2̶0̶ ̶Y̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶C̶h̶a̶l̶l̶e̶n̶g̶e̶
20 year challenge X 2
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Period spot check banned by government pekeliling! Alhamdulillah.
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Bini nyanyi tengah memasak "Mungkin kau buuukaaanlah jooodooohku
Buuukaaan takdiiirku
Terus teraaang" kuat kuat dengan penuh perasaan. Should I be worried?
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Bapa saya pesan: " The more expensive the wedding, the shorter the marriage." There's nothing more miserable than starting married life deep in debt.
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Boleh. Seperti saya, contohnya.
@bingregory
jadi seseorang berketurunan Yahudi boleh juga menganut agama lain e.g. Islam kan?
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Kalau terpaksa keluar rumah pakai ni untuk memastikan orang jaga social distancing dengan anda
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British pedofile commits crimes in Malaysia, gets the knife ☠️ in UK.
Malaysian pedofile commits crimes in UK, gets in PhD program 🎓 in Malaysia.
We need better laws.
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If P Ramlee were alive today, would he be allowed to make his movies I wonder? Seems kind of subversive ngl
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Bukan mentali yang berbeza tetapi segala ada keadaan: dari pendapatan isi rumah ke kemudahan angkutan awam ke khidmatan masyarakat ke walkability pembangunan sekeliling ke landskap sekitaran ke overcrowding ke...
Stop blaming poor people for their poverty.
Design yang sama tapi mentaliti yang berbeza.
Kenapa ini boleh terjadi? Kerana sistem Pendidikan Negara.
Ramai yang acah-acah nak jadi macam Berlin tapi perangai / mentaliti masih di tahap dunia ke-3.
Ubahlah mentaliti kita. Mcm mana? Banyakkan membaca.
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I would like to know what is the dalil for the statement 'cikgu tak halalkan ilmu'
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When the Olympic Gold Medal-winning champion and Pride of the Nation dives into your comments section 🤩🤩🤩
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Betullah BM lebih padat dan efisien berbanding dengan BI.
Contoh:
BI: "Master, it is your right to take and take from the wealth of the nation as you please and we peasants are satisfied to live on the grains of rice that fall from your fingers."
BM: "Malu apa bossku"
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Ingat 4 ringgit = $1 USD. Rupanya 1 ringgit = $2000 USD
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Very hard for me to understand why the government is making fun of the government's failings 🤔
Ooops...ingatkan declare Darurat, kes Covid bertambah kurang 🤔
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Maggi adalah barang terlarang kat rumah kami. Namun sesiapa mendapat 10000 langkah kat fitbit dia, boleh lah makan sepeket. I call it: The Hunger Games
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Cerita seram: Saka dalam keturunan dan cara belanya. Budak٢ kecik tak digalakkan tengok.
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8 ratus ribu laki "on-off" sembahyang subuh
Ni pun boleh masuk news. Siap ada list lagi, comparison siap.
Elok la, nak mengalakkan tabiat membawang la kot media2 kita nihhhh.
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The fact that this darurat ended 6 days ago and nobody noticed tells you all you need to know about this darurat
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My son was fated to be born in Malaysia because if my Malaysian wife gave birth abroad, my children would not be entitled to Malaysian citizenship. Malaysian men do not have this problem so they can fate their children here and there without concern.
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Tengah makan, wife starts hacking and coughing.
I: hey wassamatta?
- .…:¡*or%#&^::.…
Fishbone??
-.… :*%#&n^g:.…
Too spicy??
-… .';en%p#&^:.…
Food down the wrong pipe???
-… orang … mengumpat … saya …
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Never criticize your wife's taste. After all, she chose you.
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Pada hari ini 30 tahun lepas saya mengucap dua kalimah syahadah di O'Hare International Airport, Chicago IL. Dan pada hari ini 20 tahun lepas saya tengah menyumbat luggage utk berhijrah ke Malaysia dlm 3 hari. Subhanallah it sure feels like a very different world today.
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The Malaysianized Christmas we've all been waiting for! 👏👏👏
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Sokong, Sayangi dan Pertahankan Sistem Kesihatan Negara kita
Ikhlas,
An American
British people guess how much health care costs in the US — and they are shocked.
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Bukan nak menghasut tapi pelajar universiti patut lebih menggunakan saluran Course Evaluation. Students pernah mengadu dgn saya pasal lecturers mereka. Akhir tahun bila buka course evaluation, purata 4/5 je. Thats an "A" folks. CourseEval anonymous tahu, jangan takut jangan segan
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Malaysia: mana boleh pegi keja naik basikal, cuaca tak mengizinkan
Countries with winter temperature -10°C:
When you ride a bicycle, you're part of the neighborhood.
When you're in a car, you're just passing through.
(
#winter
weather cycling edition)
#Montreal
#Copenhagen
#Amsterdam
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While Anwar Ibrahim was a political prisoner, a poem was written for him by the Indonesian poet WS Rendra, called "Rajawali".
Rendra was a victim of the Suharto regime, serving nearly a year in solitary confinement in a cell too small to stand in.
My translation:
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Muhammad Ali once said, The man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life 🐐
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Oh how the tables have turned
The U.S. has advised its citizens against travel to Malaysia.
It has listed Malaysia under Level 4, the highest of its COVID-19 severity levels.
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Istilah Yahudi ada tiga makna:
agama
budaya
keturunan.
Tiga-tiganya tak sama dengan ideologi zionisme.
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When I first moved to Malaysia nearly 20 years ago, I didn't tell many people that I am half Jewish on my mother's side. I was trying to settle down and make a life for myself here, and while I wasn't afraid of negative reactions, I didn't want to do a lot of explaining.
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waiting for the cikgus of the world to stop "correcting" American pronunciations. The "L" is pronounced across the US and is understandable worldwide.
“archive” is pronounced as “arkaiv” not “arcif”
“almond” is pronounced as “aaamend” not “aLmend”
aq penat la kena gelak tolongla spread knowledge yang betul supaya aku tak digelakkan sedangkan aq berkata benar
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Ramadan: nap all day waiting for the chance to eat
Eid: eat all day waiting for the chance to nap
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Orang barat susah nak faham cara memuji sultan. Bukan ke maha٢ ni untuk Tuhan je?
Siapa Yang Maha Mulia?
Episod 12 | Bin Gregory Productions
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Baru tahu melanggar undang-undang negara adalah sejenis kekhilafan
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Bayangkan, ada orang yg sudah didapati bersalah boleh jalan sini sana menunggu rayuan sementara budak ni belum nampak hakim lagi dah kena duduk penjara 22 bulan
Over 60% of prison inmates in Malaysia are minor drug offenders — like Liyana.
Watch the full video:
Sign a petition to support
#AlternativeSentencing
at
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Marriage? Closed. Marriage is closed!!! Sila jangan berzina. Sekian terima kasih.
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"a lump in my throat" bermaksud merasa terharu atau sentuh hati
#peribahasainggeris
Every time a Malay Muslim says stuff like, "Mereka bukan tetamu tapi keluarga saya", there is a lump in my throat.
Terima kasih.
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How come bunga raya is the national flower but nobody makes hibiscus drinks?
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Sahur pertama. Dad has decided to fast with us this Ramadan, may it be easy for him.
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What I don't understand is why any Malaysian would deploy "Y'all" when we have "Korunks" at our disposal
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Dad dah pulang ke USA
"Bye Dad, sorry we didn't really go anywhere or do anything during your visit."
"Are you kidding, it was great. It never snowed once!"
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Tuan-tuan & puan-puan dengan segala hormatnya saya buka vlog bahasa melayu saya dengan topik yang hangat: tontonilah di episod 1
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Yang penting, jangan stress masa nak bersembang dengan anak. Cakap je natural. Kalau rojak, rojak lah. Setiap manusia akan belajar bahasa yang sesuai untuk kehidupan dia. Ada je budak yg sejak lahir pandai cakap 3-4 bahasa berlainan. Jangan risau
Berhentilah ajar anak-anak bahasa rojak.
Contoh:
"Adik, pakai shoes tu"
Berdasarkan pemerhatian aku, budak yang bagus English, mak ayah dia tak pernah ajar bahasa rojak macam ni.
Kalau English, English sahaja. Kalau Bahasa, Bahasa sahaja ayatnya.
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Zaman dulu Tamagotchi. Sekarang FitBit. Sama jak sebenarnya cuma binatang bodoh yang you kena bela supaya dia tak mati adalah diri sendiri
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kawasan dijangka banjir sekali setahun pada 2070 jika tiada tindakan iklim baharu
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Hometown proud 🇵🇸
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the older i get, the less i want to give advice about anything to anybody.
Nasihat saya pada orang yang kahwin awal atas tajaan ibubapa atau biasiswa kerajaan untuk lanjutkan pelajaran ke luar negara, berhentilah beri nasihat pada orang lain.
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Ingin cakap bahasa inggeris dengan cara omputih? Mahu pastikan makhraj dan tajwid speakingnya betul? Belajarlah dengan saya, orang putih asli anda™. Video bersiri 1/x
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Imagine my surprise when I found out Maggi is not Malaysian but an international brand started in Switzerland
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1. Me Yesterday
2. Me today hearing my ambassador speak fluent Bahasa
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Get a degree & leave Malaysia. Accumulate wealth in a distant land you'll never feel fully at home in. Raise kids who have the life you thought you wanted as a youth but who are dissolute & heedless of your sacrifice. Return to Malaysia at the end of your days as a stranger.
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2003: why would you leave America to come live here??
2021: nah, tambah nasi
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Semoga umat Islam dijauhkan dari mengukur agamanya berdasarkan tahap pengkomersialan di lubok kapitalisme
Muslim 61.3%
Buddhist 19.8%
Christian 9.2%
Hindu 6.3%
Tapi mall di Malaysia, hiasan paling meriah adalah sambutan hari Krismas.
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Bapa saya pernah pesan ada 4 perkara setiap lelaki kena capai dalam hidupnya:
1. Tanam sebatang pokok
2. Bikin sebuah rumah
3. Melahirkan seorang anak laki
4. Tulis sebuah buku
I did it, Dad!
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I am a big fan of marrying older, better educated, more successful women. I mean, I've only done it once. But still, big fan.
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I: cuba letak pc tu bawa meja, kemas sikit
She: namanya desktop bukan deskunder
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Zaman dulu, raja-raja dari timur ke barat akan simpan seorang Court Jester. Peranannya adalah buat lawak, usik, sindir dan bercakap terus terang kpd Raja supaya Raja tahu apakah fikiran rakyat yg sebenar terhadapnya di luar gelembung astana. Satire is not a crime: it is a service
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Beli lagi... Al-maklum perempuan melayu memang kalah dengan makhluk putih, lagilah kalau mata biru
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Dulu mak mertua janji kalau saya blajar cakap Melayu nanti dia akan blajar omputih. Sekarang bila ingatkan dia buat taktau je tak aci betul
My other half is learning Malay so that he can impress my mum and he sounds funny 🤣🤣🤣 I can't cope 🙈tergeliat lidah dia
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The path of every typhoon in the last 25 years.
Sabah is LITERALLY the Land Below The Wind.
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Get a degree, leave Malaysia. Get two more degrees, come back and help carry Malaysia into its bright new future together.
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Nangis orang Sarawak, nangis.
Lapis legit, an Indonesian-Dutch fusion dessert, features 18 to 30 individually baked layers of spiced butter, sugar, and egg yolk. Bakers from across the islands prepare the dessert in a square pan, broiling each layer before adding the next. The result? This colorful concoction
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Sering mendengar di kalangan mualaf di USA: "Nasib baik saya jumpa agama Islam sebelum saya jumpa orang Islam".
This is as thread.
So anyway, selama ni ramai yang tanya aku, bila nak masuk Islam.
Especially mereka yang kenal aku secara peribadi.
Ye lah… aku dari sekolah senang campur budak2 Melayu.
Anak Baba katanya.,.. I didn’t fit in with one specific race group.
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Hide this news from my daughters at all costs
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What is the point of traveling all the way to the US for college if you're not interested in dying in a school shooting? If you don't want the American educational experience go study in Australia or something c'mon.
A Chinese student who was studying at a university in Michigan got sent back home after a customs officer found a bulletproof vest in his baggage. The US has prohibited the importation of certain types of body armor. The passenger had his visa cancelled.
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I introduced a Malay friend of mine to Lychee Kang, which she had never had nor heard of prior to this moment. I think this qualifies me for citizenship. Sekian, terima kasih.
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Saya contoh terpaling lemah sebenarnya. Lebih baik merujuk para sahabat Baginda ﷺ seperti Abu Hurayrah atau Abu Ayub al-Ansari radiallahu anhuma
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TM dengan iFlix, FINAS dengan aFlix... what's up with the off-brand *flix crapola around here
Patutlah beriya sangat nak censor Netflix. Ada side project rupanya dia ni.
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Honest portrayals of real issues facing actual Malaysians are what our local film industry desperately needs.
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Berjalan dengan isteri pagi tadi a woman passed us said "Good morning sir, Welcome to Malaysia!" so that was nice I guess
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One day i will have assimilated enough into Malaysian society that tandas 3 kasta will make perfect sense to me
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I've worked on contract for nearly 20 years with no hope of getting permanent. No problem, I'm a foreigner, I get it, not complaining. But I cannot IMAGINE 45% OF ALL GOVERNMENT DOCTORS - Malaysians, all - are in the same position. That ain't right.
Ingat sikit je doktor kontrak kkm. Rupanya 23,000 daripada total 52,000 doktor kkm adalah kontrak. 45% kerja dengan takde assurance masa depan.
#HartalDoktorKontrak
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Names follow the father because when a child is born, the mother's identity is obvious, while the identity of the biological father is impossible to know. Giving the father's name acknowledges the child as the legitimate offspring of that man.
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Dalam bahasa melayu, sesuatu yang ganjil atau pelik dikatakan "belanda". Durian belanda, ayam belanda etc.
Di US kami pakai "Chinese" = chinese checkers, chinese fire drill etc kecuali ada aura sophisticated, dikatakan French pula: french fries, french kiss etc.
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Arwah my MIL insisted I khatm Quran before I could marry her daughter, arrived in the US a month before our wedding, and taught me herself. Thanks emak ♥
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If only the hardware stores were open, this RMO would bring in a tsunami of home improvement like this nation has never seen
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Finally understand why dual citizenship is illegal - trying to follow two countries' politics will make your hed asplode
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Isteri: How do you say "obnoxious" ye?
Me: Repugnant? Annoying?
I: idak le, dlm bahasa melayu
M: Terlebih dahulu, I'm an American
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There was an old joke 10 years ago that went like this:
"In Mahathir's time corruption was under the table, in Pak Lah's time the corruption was on the table, and in Najib's time they're stealing the damn table too"
It is staggering to learn that was LITERALLY true
Berdasarkan laporan yang saya terima, pihak JPM juga mengesyorkan agar perolehan perabot dibuat memandangkan kebanyakan aset perabot di Seri Perdana yang didakwa milik peribadi mantan Perdana Menteri Keenam telah dipindah keluar.
(7/15)
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@AkidRosli
You pay for this I pay for that this belongs to me that belongs to you = planning for divorce
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Kelapa terjatuh dari pokok tinggi
kalau terapung boleh sampai pulau;
I wish everyone Salam Aidil Fitri
from where I come from to where I've arrived now.
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Bila kita tak hormati kepakaran orang di bidang lain. Kamus pun tak erti pakai ya rabbi malunya
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What do you call someone who graduated at the bottom of their class in medical school?
.
.
.
"Doctor".
GPA is a not a reliable indicator of work/career performance.
Recently I interviewed a fresh graduate. She’s only with CGPA 2.3 so obviously I questioned why. I won’t publicly share her defensive reasons cuma aku nak tanya:
Dengan segala bantuan dan subsidi yang diberi, susah sangat ke dapat CGPA 3.0 and above di IPTA?
p.s I won’t judge
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In some countries they investigate you for corruption to throw you *out* of the government. First time I've heard of someone being investigated for corruption and then brought *into* the government
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Wife: apa nama cardamom dalam bahasa melayu?
Me: uh who is the melayu in this conversation?
Wife:
Wife:
Wife:
Me: buah pelaga
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