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어린이날
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こどもの日
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子供の日
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#光る君へ
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Mülakatsız68binAtamaistiyoruz
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GW最終日
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予選突破
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Al Jazeera
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#CHEWHU
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Happy Easter
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Noni
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Gallagher
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柱稽古編
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BINGLING THROUGH IT
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سعد اللذيذ
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四塩化一黄酸
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GW終わり
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Kerem Shalom
• 12131 Tweets
#فيصل_ابورميه_المطيري_58
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Madueke
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Happy Cinco de Mayo
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蜜璃ちゃん
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so let me get this straight......i have to do tasks...every day.....dozens of them..and then I have to wash my skin off (did not ask for skin).....and then lie unconscious for a while.. and then do tasks again
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the fact that some people are professional opera singers. like they literally go to work and they’re like AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
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wearing shorts is so embarrassing. Like here are my legs I guess. jesus christ
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subway rat made eye contact with me and said “join us. when the train comes we slide under the tracks and feel it rumble over us like a warm thunderstorm. we live forever and we love to live” I said no thank you I am too large he turned away from me I cried
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suicide hotlines exist to make you so frustrated with the suicide hotline that you forget to commit suicide
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why can’t a cover letter be “I want to work here soo bad. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please”
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what’s the chillest way to ask someone why they arent in love with you
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putting “they/them” beside my name in zoom class when no one else is displaying their pronouns in order to signal that I am the hottest person present
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if I have a crush on you that’s my business. it literally has nothing to do with you
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people on here are like “just had the intrusive thought ‘maybe i’ll have pasta for dinner’” girl that’s just a thought
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I let so many people live in my head rent free because housing is a human right and as long as i have space i will do my part to open my doors for friends and enemies alike, beckoning in a more equitable future rooted in community. And also because I have a mood disorder
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are we ready to talk about how the instant cancelling of ellen degeneres was rooted in lesbophobia or....? Just kidding but what if this was something I tweeted
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queerbaiting myself by existing as a queer person but not really dating or having fun
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OK SORRY PLEASE DONT EXPLAIN IT TO ME BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND AT ALL HOW CRYPTOCURRENCY HAS A MASSIVE CARBON FOOTPRINT ISNT THE INTENRET JUST AIR AND MAGIC ARENT NUMBERS JUST SHAPES
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I cant believe fruit tastes like that all on its own. we are so lucky
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having a body is all about wearing the biggest shirt in the world so no one knows
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you ever look around your room like oh no an insane person lives here
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some of you tweet in such bursts that I feel like I could map your manic-depressive episodes for your therapist for a small fee
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if Im on your close friends story on instagram I take that position very seriously. I will sing at your funeral
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loudly muttering “I guess I’ve been shadowbanned” when I sit in the park in my little outfit and no one falls in love with me
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just because Im trans doesn’t mean you can ask me random invasive questions like “how have you been” “what have you been up to” etc
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“open to female and non binary applicants” cool Im gonna need your definition of female real quick and also your definition of non binary and also you owe me one thousand dollars
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if I were in the stanford prison experiment I’d just stay calm and have fun with it
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I dont know what gender I was assigned at birth. I dont remember anything from that day
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I love when a friend compliments your other friend to you and you get to tell the friend that they were complimented behind their back
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Hey, so good to catch up, sorry for acting a little off last night. it’s just because there’s a bunch of stuff wrong with my personality
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a friend breakup is just a regular breakup but nobody around you cares and you cant blame it on your face being weird
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not to victim blame but if my cat doesnt want me to nuzzle her soft little head with my nose then maybe she should stop being a perfect angel from heaven
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sometimes your various traumas and mental illnesses will make you very difficult to love but that’s ok because there are actually tons of tv shows
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I love to read an opinion and be like oh sure yeah that’s my opinion too now and then read an opposing opinion and be like whoa whoa wait a sec
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no one wants to admit it but elon musk and grimes are what “queering heterosexuality” looks like
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why the hell is alaska republican???? no one’s trying to raise your taxes there’s a moose behind you focus on that
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these guys got the same kind of face to me. no one can play a scoundrel like a guy with this face. little stinker genes
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[using social media a totally normal healthy way] hey is anyone on here proud of me
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google maps should tell you if you’re going to a destination where the vibes are off
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some people are like “this is so beautiful” “this is poetry” it’s not supposed to be beautiful it’s a tweet about how I want to be a subway rat. I wrote it on 3 hours of sleep after one of the worst weeks of my life expecting 3 likes don’t take anything I say seriously ever again
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Hey, I’m a cisgender person dating a transgender person. I wrote a weird essay. It’s behind a paywall. My haircut was expensive and it isn’t good
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just because I haven’t seen these screenshots in circulation and they cant be lost to history
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Im not non binary anymore everyone’s being too annoying. i’m not anything. i’m just sitting on my couch. My roommate is making me pasta
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this is the most Marnie From Girls ive ever seen a person be including Marnie From Girls
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if sex and gender are the same thing then why do I have too much gender and not enough sex
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@just_broth
the text ones are soooo funny lol my friend and I joke that they should just put all 100 people in a group chat to work it out among ourselves
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I’ve never “come out” in my life i’ve just kind of realized things and then acted on them and let my friends and family be like oh my god what is going on please answer your phone
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sorry Im late to the meeting I was watching a youtube video called “bill hader being a mood for 5 minutes” it was made by a 14 year old with more patience than me who will someday upload my consciousness into the cloud against my will because amazon bought my nursing home
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people are doing extraordinarily bad faith readings at me so for clarity: obviously use hotlines if you must, be nice to hotline workers, etc.... i’m simply making little jokes about my own experiences on this app....i’m just some guy.....
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sometimes i’ll be walking through a park and then, no warning at all, there will be a bridge I can walk atop or a tunnel I can walk inside. it just happens. Life is full of little treats like that
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my magic trick is that I can tell who i’m going to match with on tinder before I swipe because I dont have a type but I am a type’s type
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it’s weird when movies are bad. like wouldnt they want it to be good? I get when tv episodes are bad. but that’s a whole movie. like wouldn’t someone catch that? it’s a whole movie god damn it. double check.
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it’s totally fine to be good at nothing and have no ambitions and chat all day with friends
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“you’re so brave for sharing your story” no actually stuff just happened to me and I cant shut up
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my cat broke one of my favorite ceramics but I dont mind because the ceramic was shaped like a cat and I understand now that there shall be no false idols before her
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the wikipedia image for the "Body dysmorphic disorder" page is fun as hell i would get this tattooed on my body
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blankets are so underrated....you feel cold so you put on a blanket and immediately you dont feel warmer necessarily but you feel inexplicably happier. that’s so cool
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oh a writer did something really weird? you're telling me a writer, of all people, did something really weird?
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my friends will spend all day being smart and talented and good and beautiful and then be like "thank you for always supporting me" as if it's an active effort and not a natural nourishing byproduct of existing near them
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English majors writing reading responses love to be “struck by” things
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excuse me, Im an alt comedian from one of three cities with one of four haircuts. And I have something mean to tweet
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pls dont reply to this implying opera singers make too much money (???! Lol??) or that it’s an easy job lmao I like to tweet obvious observations in dumb ways. Accountants go to work and they’re like tap tap click click. ur not better we’re all being exploited artists r cool shh
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omg. my girlfriend had to leave early for work this morning. she made me a cup of coffee and left the sweetest note for when I woke up. it really is the little things!!
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so being transgender makes me hotter but makes dating harder? I’m confused
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what's the point of a high school reunion as a cis person. where's the reveal
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you use paper towels and then the next thing you know you’re out of paper towels. life is so messed up
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you dont have to know a single thing about your gender, your sexuality, your personality, your ambitions, etc to have a full life . you mostly just have to know whether you're in the mood for a sandwich and what kind of sandwich you should make
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the “?” imessage text reaction is the most sinister mode of communication I can imagine
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every time there’s an actress on tv whose teeth are a little weird Im like that is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my entire life
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the polygraph operator who tested Lisa Vanderpump to find out if she sold a story about her friend’s dog on season 9 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is the same one who tested Nathan Fielder to find out if he watches porn on season 4 of Nathan For You
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hey, sorry I haven’t liked your tweets in a while. I had to mute your account because i overthought something I said to you and decided you were mad at me and every time I saw your name is made me feel sick. but I hope you’re well and i love your recent posts about bisexuality.
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hey i know we aren’t close but i saw your bereal and there seems to be a sadness in your eyes that wasnt there yesterday. Are you thinking about climate change, or did something tragic maybe happen in your family?
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me and my boys are having an ennui summer. we are at the function listless as hell
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I will like each of my crush’s selfies immediately as soon as I see them of course I will why wouldnt I? those are my favorite photos. That’s literally what the button is for
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generational wealth is when your mom gives you a kiss on the forehead
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stresses me out when a lip balm says “Do not ingest” on it. like I’m going to a LITTLE
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transmasc is a word I use for myself to mean Im not a girl and the hormones Im on are the “masculinizing” kind but the idea that I, as a guy, am “masc” is soooo funny. I’m not masc! Im a guy though
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I think im going to come out as transgender today. hope nobody distracts from my moment
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wait just realized it’s ok to not be talented because I can just hang out
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brain shattered beyond repair. just looked down at the breakfast I made for myself by myself and said out loud “breakfast vibez”
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“Im not looking for anything serious” lmaoooo ok whatever you say. still gonna smile when you text me tho
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Succession as a tv show has nothing to do with sex but every day the marketing team manages to assemble the most pornographic promotional material Ive ever seen in my life. I need season 3 to premiere Im up to four cold showers a day I cant live like this anymore
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you would think a boyfriend is just a girlfriend who's a boy, but in many ways it's more complicated than that
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